Started working on a new idea, url is just a short part of it, but think it's enough to get your help ... so ... Help, opinions appreciated

 

Throw away the first 25 seconds. The rest is interesting sonicially for like 20 seconds.

Between 1:15 - 1:21 the bridge flushable, get rid of it, its a nice 3-5-1 switch but wrecks the mood and it adds a layer conspiracy into what was a song that was grooving pretty well as theme on lunacy and drugs.

You want to make a statement or you want to get into kids heads you can't always do both.

Crazy and high are universal - i.e. Gnarls Barley did a take on that theme, would it have been much of smash if Ce-Lo started talking aliens implanting microchips in his ass to control his mind. You can skirt it but even a child knows the difference between a caress and a slap. If you are trying to seduce someone what works better a slap or a caress? I guess it depends on where you are, but speaking generally the caress will work more often.

It's kind of more of the same, just little different and there is nothing wrong with that Deadmous5, St. Beethoven and Daft Punk do more of the same but they add those mind boggling arabesques or rhythmic changes. A beep here and sweep there a filter flubing there and you go from a monkey playing the same chords to as everyone else in the same pattern to something that is just different enough to maybe get people's attention. As old time producer Timberland is famous for now saying, "just turn the knob a little," don't do what everyone else does, just a little it wont hurt.

Good luck you have about 45 seconds of good material wot work with which is more than enough to make an entire track. I mean Tits & Clits did a whole track which resembles yours from about 30 seconds on Pill Poper. This is where the hard part actually starts you just have to get creative now without shitting the bed. It's a lot harder than sounds, the rest is hustle. You still have some balance issues but you have a little better groove and cohesiveness in theme on this track which is worth more than a good mix.

 

Wow, didn't expect this precious advice on a track I made just to relax for the purpose of a way to "turn off the past days" and empty my thoughts.

I will carefully read and try to follow your recommendations. Thank You so much!

 

You seem to be creating tracks based around full vocal arrangements presumably from a royalty free sample pack.
Most of these packs are terrible (like the ones you have used) and therefore make it difficult to create a decent sounding track.

Two suggestions.

Create your instrumental track first and get a decent arrangement mix.
Find a suitable acappella from a chart song in the right key to fit your track.

It's not like your going to infringe anyone's copyright at this stage of your learning journey.

 

1. I read through the comments before making my suggestions as to hopefully not sound too redundant, but one thing I will repeat is that you should definitely cut down the intro. Its simply too long. You have it at around 22 secs and I wouldn't suggest more than 7-8 secs these days.

2. Also couldn't tell if the next bit before the drums drop was also intro (if so yikes) or if it was say the hook/chorus/prechorus type section but since the chorus doesn't have words I suggest going intro 4-8 bars then straight to the verse section where the drums drop. Which leads me to...

3. Arrangement. A few people commented on the arrangement already but I think if you scrap all that extra, I was just mentioning in 2, your arrangement would be serviceable. BUT I would still add some transition/ear-candy sounds to signify changes in sections. Maybe add some quick mutes or breaks during the verse because its basically just a loop at this point.

 

I like your track. i'm listening on a very small speaker so I can't really hear the bass, thanks for the different versions which prove it's listenable more than once.
good job.

 

I guess everything would be possible in music but when it comes to the structure of a song there are some conventions I guess.
Especially when I listen to the intro there is something that is going against a "normal" structure. Your guitar intro is 8 bars then there is a fhirst part with some lyrics that are 4 bars. Then the drums come in with another 8 bar piece. Then the lyrics start with the real first verse and from there on the song becomes more structured around 16 and 8 bars. But especially the intro is unstructured and it isn't exactly clear until the first verse that al the previous has been some kind of intro. Hard to explain maybe but your intro consists of 3 parts and besides the different amount of bars for each part, it is (i.m.o) too much and confusing.

Hope it helps a little and if not: Don't shoot the messenger.....

 

i agree with the boys
its really nice track that need professional tweaking with vocals

in my case i concentrated on how you approached the music
the bass and drums are great /the pluck sounded great whole positioned a far but can be heard cleared
the accoustic guitar here is the main focus in this song so it must presents more in the chorus with vocals

all in all its good track ,it kinda reminds me 80s sandra style music with that nice bass and kick at 00:39
but in happy bright mode and without the awesome vinatge reverb from cretu
as the guitar doesnt need big reverb here

rated ..7.5 /10 as i enjoyed the overall track from start to finish without skipping a beat and wrote my small review