In terms of self-esteem and loving yourself, I think your approach has merits, but I cannot deny that a part of me goes through the effort of writing and recording music because I feel a need to communicate a part of myself that I cannot do so with words. And at the same time I am terrified of it.

 

it appears, it must be dealt with it before it disappears, its difficult. i have more recording devices than i have friends and family, just so anywhere i am i can at least get the jist of the thing down before the moment passes. paper notebooks are the real deal for lyrics, they seem to come into my head spontaneously and if i write them down, the next line appears, its strange, but its the way it is. don't question, just obey and hope the door doesn't close...

 

I relate to your post. Once a very close friend said my songs had a strange feeling to them, and she always felt a bit uneasy listening to them, even when they were beautiful to her (another close friend had said exactly the same thing many many years before). I stopped sending her my songs when, one day, she said "sorry, I will not listen this time cuz I am not feeling ok today and I do not want to feel worse".

Not that my songs are too depressing or strange... It is just a little experimental at times and that it is not her taste (and almost no one else's taste in the world lol), but I enjoy listening to what I do, some people here too, so does my wife and two or three friends, so... fuck it: let's make some more songs lol)

 

Ai is smoke and mirrors, meant to increase stock prices. remember when 5.1 mixes were going to change the music industry? Ai is a military tool, all the rest is frosting to get you to eat the cake. don't beleive everything you hear, especially from a software salesman.

 

Have I got the guitar for you!!!

 

all i will add is, for the love of god, and the love of yourselves, do not let a single person's criticism stop you from doing your thing, or even several people's criticism. maybe it's good advice, constructive advice. if you really value their opinion and think they get your overall intention, and they're also musicians/producers, consider asking them to take a look at your project file or giving technical notes. they don't need to mix or write the track for you, but our modern tools make this so easy to do. however, be ready to reject their advice or at least parts of it, because good musicians still dislike or misunderstand other good music all the time.

there's also people's emotional/aesthetic reception of your music. that's much more mysterious, subjective, and warped by their own musical tastes and exposures. and sure, maybe the shortcomings of your craft part are holding back the art part. in that case, just keep learning and working and looking for the people who "get it," i guess, who can also encourage you. but you could also be finding out a unique approach to music that most people just don't gel with for whatever reason. plenty great music takes me a while to wrap my ears around and i consider myself to have pretty broad and charitable taste