Donald Trump and Boris Johnson's hairdressers are combined twins separated at birth.

New U.K prime minister Theresa May is in fact a female reincarnation of Darth Sidious, and her opposition, Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn is a reincarnation of Obe Wan Kenobi.

 

Last edited: Jul 24, 2016

I've never picked up a musical instrument in my life, unless you count banging a biscuit tin on my head to block out the noise of Satan telling me to kill.

 

My music has turned the voices in my head in to a choir section complete with a beatboxer and a Bobby McFerrin style rhythm section... At least they dont make fun of me and torment me anymore.

 

The government orders supermarkets to mix nanobots into popular food products, harvests your fecal matter and stores all data gleaned by the so-called "mallware" in a secret facility on the dark side of the moon.