Waking up at 4AM and being unable to fall asleep again...

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by PopstarKiller, Feb 11, 2020.

  1. PopstarKiller

    PopstarKiller Platinum Record

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    ...Makes you really rethink your musical path.
    It all feels so pointless. Spending so many hours trying to come up with a bridge in a song. Torturing yourself for not being productive enough. Spending so much money on different guitars that give you headaches with their problems. Spending eternity trying to make sampled drums not sound like shit. Spending weeks looking for free commons cover art. Getting bleeding fingers for practicing acoustic guitar parts, and sore throat for practicing singing.
    All for what? The short satisfaction of completing a nice album, and then if you're lucky maybe a hundred people will listen to your music, only half of them with any kind of attention, and some will give you a virtual like. And then repeat because you have SO many ideas that are really hard to bring to life. Does it really worth all the hassle, all the headaches and misery?
    I love music. I love sound. It's my life. But I don't want to do it anymore.
    (I'll probably regret making this thread in the morning)
     
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  3. Jaymz

    Jaymz Audiosexual

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    If the only satisfaction you ever get out of music is just the fact that you love it then that's gota be enough... if it's not ,then you dont love it enough to keep doing it . I've lived by this my whole life. I make money from it every day but I've also made nothing from it at all... I'll always be writing Producing and recording music because I love it and I live it every minute of every day ....it is who I am.
     
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  4. ( . ) ( . )

    ( . ) ( . ) Audiosexual

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    I second that, if you are doing it for money and not because you truly enjoy it, ur gnna have a miserable time.

    Just learn to have fun with it and just make it a hobby, not everyone needs to be the next big thing...

    that being said, buy my album bitches! jks i don't really care about that XD
     
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  5. garfinkle

    garfinkle Platinum Record

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    Rubbish. Music is as much of a commodity as it is an art form (not that the two are mutually exclusive).

    I make a living writing music for film and TV. Some of it I like, some of it I don't. Depends on the requirements of the program. It's better than being a courier, that much I know for certain.
     
  6. Olymoon

    Olymoon Moderator

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    If you don't enjoy the path, take break, think about lowering your demand to yourself.
    Music is 90% sweat 10% inspiration, so enjoying the making is very important.
     
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  7. HappyFork

    HappyFork Ultrasonic

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    I actually tried to approach that "let's race till pro" lifestyle, waking up early, learning new stuff, then going back to the current project, taking a break and practicing mixing essentials, going back to the track and all that each day for 12 hours.

    I had enough money to live without working but just rushing it and really just producing for the sake of accomplishment ruined my creative flow and the fun as well.

    Then I've decided to take a break from all this and came back just to produce music for the sake of doing it.
    I still wanna people listen to my music, but becoming famous or earning money with it is certainly not what I want cause traveling this path doesnt give me these emotions that I wanna feel while producing, that euphoric blast when you come up with a killer sound or a new melody with rocking chord prog.

    All you want in any time in any circumstance is just a certain change of emotion.
    People dont drive a Lamborghini for the sake of driving it, they wanna feel the emotions they think they gonna get driving such car.
    Same applies to money, tons of women and drugs and all that.
    So maybe thinking about what type of emotions do you wanna have along your journey is crucial because succeeding, earning that grammy award and yet not feeling fullfilled is the biggest fail ever.

    So maybe your just burned out a bit, take a break, revalue your priorities and if nothing changes, try again the same path.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
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  8. HappyFork

    HappyFork Ultrasonic

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    btw, how to delete posts? xD
     
  9. Aileron

    Aileron Audiosexual

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    :guru: Well no-one wants to end up creating 'secret' hits. But you are your own (and first) audience of course, as the creator/performer of anything you do. I imagine Van Gogh would have painted just to be able to put on his wall what he liked, which turns out to have been radically different from the stuff museums were lined with. It's the pleasure creating that makes it worth the self-torture (and to some, me excluded, self-torture is apparently the pleasure, but I shan't stray off-topic). Get a cup of tea, relax, turn on the radio - and maybe re-discover why you ever decided YOU could make that music, except a bit more to your own taste - and who knows, more to ours as well if you are prepared to share your creations. Forget about making money with it. If you want to make money, set up a rotary press. Or get a job.
     
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  10. Thankful

    Thankful Rock Star

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    @OP What does your handle PopstarKiller mean? I'm curious that your name might be expressing a lot of negativity for yourself. You know, if your search "wake up at 4am" on YT you'll find that the billionaires and very successful people wake up at that time or very early. All the stresses and pains that you're perceiving could be your mind blocking your heart. Everything positive and of service to others brings true hapiness. People in the music business, at all levels, are in the business of creating things that makes people happy. What you describe as painful is the real work that dedicated musicians, and anyone involved in art, have to put in. Yes, sometimes it's hard work. It's never for nothing. Your music might help a few or a lot of people rethink their lives, rethink anything, see something in a different way; if you have helped one person in a positve way through your art, then you have been of service and you come closer to realsing the 'Oneness' of our existence and purpose. Many of history's artists and composrs died poor and depressed, but their work will forever touch people and help them understand that we all a small part of the all-that-is, the Creation, God. Can we hear some of your work please. Post it, let us enjoy your work.
     
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  11. ( . ) ( . )

    ( . ) ( . ) Audiosexual

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    I think my point came off across the wrong way...

    what I meant to say was, trying to seek money making music isn't going to be a great motivation for making music, because making a living through music is not easy, so u gtta really like what you're doing if you want to get to a point where you can finally make money from it, but if you expect money from the get go, you're gnna have a much harder time feeling happier, because it's not gnna happen right away like that...

    If you are making money through your music, that's awesome, even better, you're able to support yourself doing something you love and enjoy, but if you are an artist that isn't earning anything yet and you're making music only so you can get money and not because you just enjoy it, it's gnna be a rough time...

    So, i'm not rejecting the idea of making money through music, and it wasn't a discussion on music being either a commodity or artform, which I agree, aren't exclusive from each other; this is about mentality and intent of the process of being a musician, especially in regards to an independent artist and not an industry worker...
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
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  12. korte1975

    korte1975 Guest

    listen to Kasabian, especially older albums. they inspire me. they do complete opposite of popular music nowadays, yet they are the best live act i've ever seen. personally for me, they are much better than the Beatles. they headline the biggest festivals in Europe, yet the radios(they all suck) don't play them, which is good in a sense. the fan base is huge. love them. Serge Pizzorno is a genius

     
  13. Aileron

    Aileron Audiosexual

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    Better than... the who??? :winker:
     
  14. retroboy

    retroboy Producer

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    Great simple advice.
    I've often had similar moments where I become disillusioned with devoting so much energy on rearranging soundwaves to sound pretty. Then I'll take a break and most of the time my enthusiasm will return within a month or so.
     
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  15. PopstarKiller

    PopstarKiller Platinum Record

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    Oh hi guyz...
    So yeah I was just particularly depressed these last few weeks and last night just felt like sharing. I don't make music for fame or money, in fact I barely put any effort into promotion because I hate doing it. I love music and how I can express myself with it, but sometimes it can feel like too much work and effort with too little reward. I used to feel great about completing a song, but now I just go through the motions. I have several projects that would take at least another year and a half to complete, maybe then I can take a break, if I'd do it now I'll lose the momentum...

    I was just listening to a band called Popstar Killers when I signed up, and I didn't have an idea for a username, so I used that because it sounds kinda edgy and I usually hate popstars :D
     
  16. stoiximan

    stoiximan Platinum Record

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    We have all been there,dont swet it do something else for a little while.Watch out because from what i read you are coming closer to depression and believe me i know, you dont want to be in that position.If you cant handle it go see a doctor now a good sleep is number 1 for mental health
     
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  17. hackerz4life

    hackerz4life Audiosexual

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    It is called a mild panic attack. Buy some serious gear and im not talking software, im talking hardware. Plugins and software is ok but you need some serious gear to get motivated. Trust me, been there.
     
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  18. Xupito

    Xupito Audiosexual

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    As long as it doesn't happen to you often it should be ok. Everybody has days like this with the things that matters to them. It can be work, family, hobbies you love including music, sports et cetera, your last tinder date benching you,...
     
  19. lasteno

    lasteno Platinum Record

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    it's normal.. nothing is perfect.. or.. nothing has to be like somebody else says it is..
    don't pressure yourself much .. relax, .. enjoy doing nothing.. ha.. music will come..
    and do it for you.. not for others.. or likes.. or anything else.. making music is not for getting famous and likes really..
    you are the maker.. do whatever you like.. any time you want.. just relax.. and in 20 minutes you can make a whole song.. "the base"
    and improvise making songs.. music is pretty simple.. it will come.. it's just a question of time..
     
  20. Xupito

    Xupito Audiosexual

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    That's always good advice. In the case that mood issue is big, use that time to do something with company. It can be joining a friend that likes to walk or just and old-fashioned card game. It works better when it comes to make you stop worrying about something you are overthinking too much. At least for a couple of hours.
    Pretty obvious advises but sometimes when you're there never hurts a push to remind you.
     
  21. Zenarcist

    Zenarcist Audiosexual

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    4am is a good time to wake up, It's great having a few hours head start over the rest of the world.
     
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