EDIT ****** UPDATED**** Hi...thanks everyone. I've tried to take on board what you said and have re-mixed and re-mastered this and updated it on Soundcloud..... (((Hi...As I've previously mentioned I haven't been doing this recording, mixing, mastering thing properly for very long but I'm really trying now to improve. So I've been going through all the half written songs I've started (but obviously never finished) over the years and came across this one from about 8 years ago when I was still part of the dating game! I finished the lyrics last week and recorded, mixed etc it a few days ago. It's about some of the various encounters I had when using certain dating sites. (This is before Tinder etc!)))))) So if you have the time I would appreciate if you could have a listen and give me your thoughts? Cheers! Lyrics - I'll set the scene, it goes like this, I expected at least a kiss Turns out I was in for more than I could handle She turned to me and took my hand, Take me to another land, Keep it turning she said, let's cause some scandal Be good to me and you will surely know, If this is where we wanna go, The scissors on the side there are not just for show, She said "I thought I'd better let you know" It's 3 A.M and I'm still plotting my escape, Little did she know though, she's still looking to embrace, She tried to convince me, a little too much, That she, and only she, had the magic touch Be good to me and I might put on a show, Is what she said to me, and don't you know, The scissors in my side came a bit against the flow, so, As much as it's gonna hurt, I really have to go "Don't leave me here", she said as I looked back, Just as she was about to launch her attack, I managed, more or less, to fight her off, I'd asked her why and she had said "Well, just because" It's obvious that things had went a little too far, It seems I'd ended up sleeping, back in her car, Her window banging roused me and so off I sped, This is a night I will never forget. Last edited: Dec 5, 2020
As a story-telling song, it really works. I would like to feel more hooked into some melodic refrain on occassion, but it isn't really necessary. That's just my commercial head! The choruses are consistent enough, I guess. Loving the drum track! I think, seeing as it's the main refrain/chorus, the word "know" at the end of the first one should be resolved with a note that is more expected for the average listener. e.g. the tonic. Actually, I feel the same for each of those last words of the chorus, where you seem to sing a slightly undefined minor related note! Sorry, I'm a sod for saying that, I know. Only listened on cans, but sounds nice. Easy to listen to. Well played there, sir! And well done for sharing it!
Haha....Thanks for the feedback. It really helps. Regarding the "slightly undefined minor related note"....That's my singing (in)ability coming into play there!! But I think that's what you're actually saying anyway haha Again thanks for taking the time to get back to me...
No no! I didn't mean it like that. It does sound like you resolve in the root of the relative minor, which is fine. If I was producing I would have suggested the tonic though. Because it's simpler for a first time listener or general man-in-the-street, such that it would resolve that first chorus more obviously, and then bode well for the next ones. Did you play everything on the track? I lke the over-all sound, but those drums are great!
Oops....Sorry....My bad!! I played Guitars, Bass guitar, midi "trombones" but the drums ....well....they are midi files from Addictive drums library cobbled together to fit the song, with a few tweaks I made to make them fit better. I've tried doing my own but I have no idea how to play drums and the different types of fills etc so find it easier to tweak the ones from Addictive.....Here's an example of MY attempt at programming them...not really what I wanted but I gave it a go anyway! (I'm sorry. I've tried posting halfway through the song but it doesn't let me for some reason. I was trying to post from 0:58 onward as an example) Cheers : )
You're not the first to say that hahah!.....I'll be honest, I had been listening to Sound and Vision a LOT when doing that particular song and some of the guitar at the end was based on the riff from it.
very nice job! my two inputs would be: the mixing of the instrumental tracks and vocals is weak, not awful, just sonically weak. and the instrument tracks are not glued together with the vocals in a cohesively pleasing mix either. the vocals despite being nice and kind of engaging would benefit from a variation in energy/intensity to create a slight emphasis separation between verse and chorus, as now they just blend way to much energy-wise. other than that its a very likeable tune, it has a naive (in a good way) charm and its overall format works nice. thanks for sharing your work. cheers edit: our friend Smooth Grooves had great points btw. i often just answer without first reading the comments to not loose my initial thoughts. Last edited: Dec 4, 2020
i was waiting for the chorus but it never came but i quite enjoyed it waiting for part 2 to see what happened next
Thanks for your input! I agree regarding the vocals. I always feel that my vocals, apart from not being a singer!, sit either to far forward or too far back and just don't sound part of the overall track often. I'm still learning but this is the one thing that I have spent way too much time on without much progress. It doesn't help that I can't sing very well in the first place. I listen back and think "well, that's monotonous" haha...I suppose I'll get better with practice and time...I tend to rush the recording also as I have very limited time/space before the kids get in from school. I can forget about getting anything done after that! Thanks again.....
i understand, just want to make clear that artistically you don't have to "sing great" to make a great tune. for anyone listening to your music its obvious where your range is and its taken into consideration but beware not as indulgence or a "forgiving gesture", its actually the bearing part of your track. its what makes it good. so i wouldn't question your singing sound or style, only try to refine the above "issues". keep it up!
Oh don't you fret, I have! My wife's not too impressed though.....But it was just life as it was at the time. Not so young, free and single. Work all week.....out all weekend haha......
