http://www21.zippyshare.com/v/53923902/file.html let me know what u guys think, feedback would be sweet cheers guys

 

ok 1: don't start the track just with the kick, an extended one with just the kick, add something in the intro too its too empty and sounds like a box with a kick alone ...add a pad, bass, then some long fx, some bounced synths slightly modified whatever works just dont leave that part empty ...its unprofessional
2: the intro can be ok but at some point i feel i loose track of all those synths going up and down lol, it suppose to lead me into trance not wake me up but maybe its just me ( id add the synth that intros at 0:20 right from the start those 2 notes till it changes pitch at 0:28)
3: the mainline of the song: what is that? lol ...u have a melody from 2 different melodies ...at least thats what it sounds like ...when ive listened to the break ive said: '''finally some good thing here'' but then it changed ...i was like i guess the melody can stay 60% like this right now but the other part needs some correction ...i hear 2 melodies in that melody line and that would be the first thing i would change to this track
4: hope this is not final mastering, you can keep the same loudness but the mastering needs to be redone, maybe mix too ...
FINAL THOUGHTS!: ...hope I don't discouraged you ...if thats what you felt when you created the track and you don't wanna change in no way, then the mainline should stay there ...there are no rules in creating a nice track but it should sound musical, this does not mean its not but i remind you that i feel like 2 melodies in one, maybe i drink too much campari & cocktail for this night, if i change my mind tomorrow ill re-post some new thoughts

PS: dont play about labels cards: if you feel your track should stay as you like it then dont change it just to sign it st some label ...you are an artist in your original state and you should not change because someone just want to sell more tracks ...if you get what i mean, i had some stories with some, try to avoid that

GOOD LUCK!

 

Thank you PLM, with your feedback help others as well im sure

 

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I feel it's time for that warning to come off. *yes*