Song I Made (give constructive feedback)

Discussion in 'Work in Process' started by jorzef, Jan 31, 2021.

  1. jorzef

    jorzef Member

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    Hello everyone, first time posting a song here, hope you all enjoy it, tried to make the best of my cheap equipment! Give some feedback and hope you guys like it

     
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  3. Stuck In The 80s

    Stuck In The 80s Rock Star

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    It started promisingly, but then I realised there was going to be no vocal track to accompany it. A shame.

    If you are stretching an instrumental out to near 6 minutes, it needs more changes than this to keep the interest going. At the moment it just keeps plodding along.

    You could easily edit this down to 3 minutes and nothing would be lost.
     
  4. jorzef

    jorzef Member

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    Unfornately I can't sing for crap, and know no singers atm :/ if I decide to keep it instrumental i'll make it shorter!
     
  5. Stuck In The 80s

    Stuck In The 80s Rock Star

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    I know it's not the style of music that would suit vocal chops, but there are plenty of free acapellas around where you can just take a phrase or two and add/repeat here or there.
     
  6. Smoove Grooves

    Smoove Grooves Audiosexual

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    I think with the individual EQs and the overall EQ, and the relaxed tonal dynamics of the stringed instrument takes, you have captured a vibe that feels mellow and safe, and maintained that throughout the track which is nice.
    I think you were right to dip the hats some, but then it seems that the kick has too much definition or clarity in its higher frequencies a little bit.
    I was thinking it could do with just a few little brush strokes here and there of things like some mallet cymbal crescendos at certain transitions, or some transition fx with a tape dealy or something. Little ornamentation to make it even more Floyd like!
    The last section when the bass changes drops really nice! Prior to that, it had just got to the point when I really needed to hear something different.
    I don't feel a 3 minute edit is a good idea, but it did drag for me momentarily in the 2nd section.
    With some other little points of interest added, this may just vanish.
    Mature, mellow, almost a comforting vibe overall. Very much helped by your mix choices and overall EQing.
    A nice vibe! Thank you for sharing.
     
  7. It's a shame you can't get David Gilmour to play on this.
     
  8. Smoove Grooves

    Smoove Grooves Audiosexual

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    Papa!
    Exactly! It can't really be vocal.
    But something like that is the answer.
    It's just waiting for something on top to complete it.
     
  9. jorzef

    jorzef Member

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    If anyone wants to share his phone number I'm all ears :rofl:
    I might try to compose a solo as it was my initial intention
     
  10. jorzef

    jorzef Member

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    The second section you're referring to is the delay one right? That's where I thought it would be a good spot to put a solo on
     
  11. jorzef

    jorzef Member

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    Updated the song as I made I solo, I know I'm not the best lead guitarist but hey at least I tried lol

     
  12. It gets quite good towards the end. You're on the right track. Some Hammond organ and a echo laden Moog solo and you're in Pink Floyd territory.
     
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