Howdo all?

First demo of this track, i think it sounds ok, how can i improve on it do you think?

Any ideas?

Cheers

http://soundcloud.com/kearnsykearns/some-people-demo-1-original

 

hi,

in my opinion you can improve if you try,

the "oooo" singing is out of tune at 0:27 to :0:30

do some drum breaks\fill at 1:48-1:50, 3:07-3:09

bass needs to be a little louder or kick drum is masking the bass,
boost freq in kick and remove the same freq in bass
example

strings need to be louder at 1:51-2:24

use other hi-hat and crash cymbal samples if you can

use 2 crash cymbals and when you use it bring the volume up a little.

change the hi-hat patern at 1:18-1:38 and 1:51-2:25 and at 3:09-3:49 or use a ride cymbal

bring the rythm guitar down or pan differently and bring the solo up at 3:09-3:49

fix the end of the solo at 3:49, it stops abruptly.
...
make sure you use different dynamics(volume automation) in the different sections of the song

its just my opinion, ,

 

wow man you are getting deeper composing wise on this track..

liked the electronic sounds sprinkled in, and your voice sounds great as usual- almost speaking as opposed to singing... almost could be a leonard cohen song!

the singing at the beginning reminds me of gorillaz for some reason heh

cool melody, good progressions, enjoyed it!

also dig the background symphonics, although the lead break at 3:08 could be louder

everything Me2Audio said is good advice


the track is great, lyrics are great, song is great, it just needs some mixing quick fixes and then final mastering and it should sound professional enough for the radio!

cheers

 

Cheers for the advice guys, much appreciated, i agree pretty much 100%

I'm just at the demo stage on my songs at the moment, i'm trying to find out which ones are worth working on and which ones i'm better off dumping or putting back in the vault

 

nice songs on ur cloud....

 

Yes a nice track. Needs better mix but you knew that since it's a first demo.
Comments from the others are good advice.
To me the whole 'ooh' part in the start sounds a bit uncertain and out of tune.
I like the claps, but I wouldn't use them so much. For instance if they only came in at the choruses they would work as a kind of hook for those parts, giving them some extra dynamic.
At the end I would consider doubling the 'ooh' vocals with some wicked synth lead sound.