Lately I have got a lot of great critisism, mostly negative, but also for me creative, on the tracks I have posted here. I have tried to follow your suggestions from my perspective and tried to avoid to remake mistakes you pointed out, which may sound easier than it really is...

This is a new song I'm working on, have tried to take your critisism into account but also tried to focus on and keep my own vision.

Remember it's still only an idea and work in progress.

Please suggest how I can improve

 

The phrase "I'm sorry that you feel that way" is in many different places timing wise @0:55 and after. The one @1.11 is the worst I think. I don't know why. It is unnatural. it's totally out of time a couple of times. The last one is out of time too.
Other than that, a nice overall vibe. Interesting.