Get a job at the store, put a l laptop in with the cartons that are thrown away or are to be recycled, and after the store is closed come back to retrieve the booty and you're done.

 

Your "character" should have a friend go into the store and cause some sort of scene that draws all the attention to him\her.
During the commotion you, i mean, your character can slip out the front with the goods.

And don't worry about a hide speed chase by the time they figure out the laptop was taken you'll be long gone.
Just make sure to dump the security measures before you head out. i mean, your character.

 

"Need help writing my very fictional novel about a thief"

Did he steal your pencils?

 

Write a fictional story about a thief: there is a guy with zero money and not much left to lose whose main passion is producing music. recently they were forced to get rid of their studio equipment and have realized their 10+ year old budget laptop is woefully under powered for... most everything. This character is a bit in the moral grey zone on certain things, especially when it comes to perhaps taking from large corporations- they don't think they're Robin Hood they just don't care too much anymore. Now, the opening scene for this novel needs to pull the reader in with some high stakes action, and I've been thinking that it might make sense for that scene to be a bold maneuver of this character going into a large chain store where moral is low, security is lax and high-end PC laptops are available and walking out with one. I'm wondering if folks here might indulge this completely ludicrous scenario so that I can trouble shoot it any issues in realism that the character might encounter.

ChatGPT:
The street was quiet, except for the sound of the thief's racing heart as he crept closer to the entrance of the large chain store. It was a risky move, but he knew he had to take it. His passion for music had driven him to the brink of desperation, and he couldn't let his dreams slip away because of a lack of equipment. He had no choice but to break into the store and steal the high-end PC laptop he needed to continue producing his music.

As he approached the entrance, he could see that the security guard was not at his post. His heart raced even faster as he stepped into the store, scanning the area for any signs of danger. The store was dimly lit, and the only sound was the faint hum of the overhead lights.

The thief made his way to the electronics section, where he knew the laptops were kept. He scanned the shelves, looking for the best one he could find. Suddenly, he heard a noise behind him. He spun around to see a security guard, who had been patrolling the store.

The thief's heart leaped into his throat as he realized he had been caught. But before the security guard could do anything, the thief pulled out a small device and pointed it at the guard. A bright flash of light filled the air, and the guard fell to the ground, unconscious.

The thief breathed a sigh of relief and quickly grabbed the high-end PC laptop he had been eyeing. He made his way back to the entrance, keeping an eye out for any other guards. But the store was quiet, and he made it out without incident.

As he walked back to his apartment, the thief couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. He had taken a huge risk, but it had paid off. Now he had the equipment he needed to continue producing his music, and nothing could stop him. He knew that he had crossed a line, but he also knew that he didn't care. When it came to his passion, nothing else mattered.

 

You've come to the right place. Everyone here is a theif of sorts. Some are just merely borrowing till payday.

 

Now make the Thief be called Xupito, a cheeky mostly harmless bro who turns to the Dark Side,
and how he manages to go through all the traps that Foster, Steven Slate and Manuel Schleiss (a duo of internationally known scam artists, and Foster the Troll) have set on his way.
At some point through the story Xupito will encounter with other characters like:
SineWave: A cybernetically enhanced brain-hacking guru, emperor of the Dark Audiosphere.
No Avenger: A Taxi driver that sides with Xupito and helps him on his way with his flying stealth Taxi, by taking him to the edge of the Matrix.
BagelShaggerz: A comedic relief character who is mostly confused and keeps stumbling on Xupito's way for no reason, while struggling with his unrelated things like wrapping his already-chewed bubblegum on a paper for later use, or crossing a street with sunscreen-on because of an halogen-light HDR semaphore blinds him.
Eel on Mask: A digital Eel went rogue that lives on a face Mask, and helps Xupito on his way by giving him advice on how to fool people with technically nonviable ideas from 60's tech and scifi magazines
Tsssmk, PiffPaffPiff, and Pirat: A Trio of sexy hot pirates that rescue Xupito from the middle of the Ocean, and try to lure and deviate him from his goal with their charms, but eventually fail when BaggelShaggerz rips a hole in the space-time continuum with the deepest Brain-Fart to ever occur on the galaxy.
Stevie Dude: A smooth Radio Operator, member of the Dark Audiosphere, who helps Xupito by sending him encrypted messages and map locations through commercial FM radio ads about tampons and bass fishing.


ChatGPT:
Xupito was known in the underground music scene as a cheeky and mostly harmless bro.
He spent most of his time producing beats and creating new sounds.
He never thought he'd turn to the dark side but when his equipment was taken away, he decided to steal a high-end PC laptop from a large chain store, despite the risks.

Foster, Steven Slate, and Manuel Schleiss were a duo of internationally known scam artists, and Foster the Troll was their leader.
They had heard about Xupito's theft and were determined to stop him before he could cause any more trouble.

They didn't take kindly to Xupito encroaching on their territory,
so they set traps and obstacles for him at every turn to prevent him from reaching his goal..

But Xupito was resourceful and cheeky, and he managed to outsmart their traps,
using his wit and charm to get past even the most difficult obstacles with ease.
He even had a little help from his new friends and unlikely allies along the way.


First he met SineWave, a cybernetically enhanced brain-hacking guru and emperor of the Dark Audiosphere,
who was more than happy to lend his expertise.
Xupito sought his help to break through some of the toughest security systems of the high-end electronics stores,
making it easier for him to steal what he needed.

Then, there was No Avenger, a taxi driver who sided with Xupito and helped him on his way with his flying stealth taxi.
He took him to the edge of the matrix, where Xupito could operate undetected accessing the Dark Web where he could find the best deals on stolen equipment.

BagelShaggerz was a comedic relief character who was always stumbling onto Xupito's path for no apparent reason.
He often got in the way, but he also had a knack for creating distractions that helped Xupito slip past his enemies,
getting him out of sticky situations, and even managed to rip a hole in the space-time continuum with the deepest brain-fart ever to occur in the galaxy, which helped Xupito's escape, so he ended up being a valuable ally in the end.

Eel on Mask was a digital eel that went rogue and lived on a face mask.
It gave Xupito advice on how to fool people with technically nonviable ideas from 60's tech and sci-fi magazines, which came in handy more than once.

Tsssmk, PiffPaffPiff, and Pirat were a trio of sexy hot pirates who rescued Xupito from the middle of the ocean.
They tried to lure him away from his goal with their charms, but they failed when BagelShaggerz ripped a hole in the space-time continuum with the deepest brain-fart to ever occur in the galaxy, and they were forced to retreat.

Stevie Dude was a smooth radio operator and member of the dark audiosphere.
He sent encrypted messages and map locations through commercial FM radio ads about tampons and bass fishing,
helping Xupito stay one step ahead, and navigate through the maze of traps that Foster, Steven Slate, and Manuel Schleiss had set up.


Despite all the obstacles, Xupito managed to get his hands on the high-end PC laptop he needed to continue producing music.
He realized that he had crossed a line, but he also knew that he didn't care. When it came to his passion, nothing else mattered.

Xupito managed to keep producing his music, and he never forgot his roots as a cheeky, mostly harmless bro.

 

Last edited: Mar 2, 2023

I'd pay to see that one. You should make Xupito a retired producer who spent all his retirement money on blackjack and hookers, you know, for historical accuracy.

 

Could you expand it and make it be longer and more elaborated?

Spoiler: ChatGPT

As Xupito ran out of the store with the stolen laptop in his hand, he felt a sense of exhilaration that he hadn't felt in a long time. It was the feeling of being alive, of taking a risk and coming out on top. He knew that what he had done was wrong, but at that moment, he didn't care. He just wanted to get back to producing music and creating something beautiful.

But as he turned the corner and started to make his way down the street, he saw a group of shady figures waiting for him. Foster, Steven Slate, and Manuel Schleiss had caught up to him, and they were not happy.

"What do you think you're doing, Xupito?" Foster sneered, his face twisted into a scowl. "You think you can just steal from us and get away with it?"

Xupito tried to back away, but the three men advanced on him, blocking his path. He felt a sense of dread wash over him as he realized that he was in serious trouble.

But then, out of nowhere, SineWave appeared. He stepped forward, a wicked smile on his face, and began to work his magic. With a few deft keystrokes, he hacked into the security systems of the nearby buildings, causing a distraction that allowed Xupito to slip away unnoticed.

Xupito didn't waste any time. He ran as fast as he could, his heart pounding in his chest, until he reached No Avenger's taxi. No Avenger was a grizzled old man with a heart of gold, and he had been waiting for Xupito to call him.

"Get in," he growled, and Xupito scrambled into the back seat.

As they drove away from the scene of the crime, Xupito couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. He had made it out alive, but he knew that he was still in danger. Foster, Steven Slate, and Manuel Schleiss would not let him go so easily.

And so, Xupito began a game of cat and mouse with the three scam artists. They set traps and obstacles at every turn, but Xupito was always one step ahead. With the help of his allies - SineWave, No Avenger, BagelShaggerz, Eel on Mask, Tsssmk, PiffPaffPiff, Pirat, and Stevie Dude - he managed to evade them at every turn.

It wasn't easy, though. Xupito had to use all of his cunning and resourcefulness to outsmart his enemies. He had to learn how to pick locks, hack into security systems, and even improvise weapons out of everyday objects. He was in over his head, but he refused to give up.

As he made his way through the dark underbelly of the city, Xupito began to realize that he was changing. He was no longer the harmless bro that he had once been. He was becoming something else - something darker and more dangerous.

But he couldn't turn back now. He had come too far, and he had too much to lose. The stolen laptop was his only hope of making it in the music industry, and he was willing to do whatever it took to keep it.

In the end, Xupito managed to get his hands on the high-end PC laptop he needed to continue producing music. He had crossed a line, but he didn't care. When it came to his passion, nothing else mattered. He had learned that he was capable of great things, both good and bad, and he was willing to accept the consequences of his actions.

As he sat in his makeshift studio, surrounded by his equipment and his allies, Xupito realized he had to complete the circle.

Eventually after some deliberation, Xupito and his allies came face to face with Foster, Steven Slate, and Manuel Schleiss, and a fierce battle ensued. Xupito used his music production skills to create a sonic weapon that disabled the hackers' equipment, allowing him to escape unscathed.

As Xupito walked away from the battle, he realized that he had learned a valuable lesson.
He knew that he couldn't continue down the path of crime and that he had to use his skills for good. He vowed to make a name for himself in the music industry and to never again resort to stealing to get what he wanted.

 

Last edited: Mar 2, 2023

Just give your character a drug addiction of your choice and a hawt but skanky significant other who not only enables the drug addiction but is an addict as well, add some co-dependency issues and your protagonist's unshakable belief that their lover is the muse of their creativity and make certain that your character reiterates over and over how much they'll never stop "believing in the dream" ... which is why they'll rob, fuck, dose or deal drugs to anyone to get it. Add drug filled parties, rich kids slumming it and you'll have the main dynamic of every musician base story since 1965.

Don't make your protagonist a black Canadian from Toronto or you'll just be retelling the Weeknd story and you might get sued.

Don't say "... or die trying" because Curtis Jackson will sue you into the poor house for just thinking it.

 

I live in a city where theft is so rampant that they lock up the razor blades and have security tags on ALL of the meat in supermarkets. There is nowhere here that the laptops aren't connected to a security system. As soon as you try to disconnect one, a very loud alarm will sound and staff will come running over to check out what the fuck you're up to.

If you want a "cheap" laptop, you need a connection with somebody who works in the store. They might be able to get one out of the back door for you. If I was running such a scam, one thing I'd look into is having somebody come into the store with a ten year old piece of dogshit for 'malware cleaning' and having them leave with a brand new high end $2000 laptop in its place. You'd expect to pay whoever was organising this theft between 33% and 50% of retail. The thief will want to get 50%, but if you stress that there's no warranty on it, and if it does break down, you'll never be able to send it back to the manufacturer for repair (so no use buying an Apple) and the buyer should be arguing for paying 25% - 33% of retail.

 

An't nuddin confuse. I ant confous, I'm the eater of ants my life is boring. I just custome fit spellings for my soff poop shellings. Just a morning booballette salad widd a long line of ranch that will refuse to go to Harvart, cause we all end up at WalMart in my creative dwelllings.

Yesterday @6am I habbed to be having my kaleidoscoping visions when my neighborts were waking up togoto work, I sat up on my porchella of coachella watching the tail of my trip shell out as their cars sped up my visions slurred. Smok-finishin the rest of my roachella as I light my sibberret of niccorette to wind out wild smells of my humble lawn gnome glaucoma but not yet legal funkalette. But soon they said, it will be legal & you'll have fun'b they said.

At this point... I don't don't wanna hear it harder than Minor Threat, you better believe that's a bet. I'd rather just roll up super hot into the hood when I'm in the mood while my weed smells like it's done skunked an Animal Planet of the unthinkable shameful of deed up in the corner of a my paper bag and definitely not out from a lab. Just a small Alcoholic Anonymouse Brewed up Brown Bag All For Your Chronic? Hah? What are you? In That 70's of Show? No. My dealers justa cheap ass hoe that might sell blow.

I'm lucky he doesn't pull up in a gas station next to my open window then just drops 40 dollars wortha red grape nuggets into my bare handed sweat, right in the middle of my summer when my sweat is livid cause the weather is humid. I don't even like the tobbaccers but if I don't smoke a fag on my way back with that bare ass corner of a bag then I'll just go to back jail without a bail cause yeah, that's the smell that pigs would like to kiss n tell.

Like a fuck off duty naked bacon mistletoe pork skin cracklin his dirtass milf n hoe. I agree with Trent Reznor, those PorkiePies want to fuckem like K9's, with their cover up wife at home who might just be a nice lady that's sorta femmen, nice. Lets just hope she don't happa haffa a 3rd leg in disguise.

But I'm tired of the all too frequent family reunions behind the cells of bars with inmate unions running their frequented monopolies on stored up cigarettes from too much time spent locked into solitary forced rent tent while I have to stay inside of a cell with a guy with a perpetual pitched tent who would not stop shagging his lonely island pecker unless we all ate.

He's the master of faster master debating instead of dropped soap bent over mating. Waiting for him to wash his filthy pecker beat the shit out of asking him to clear the room so I could drop off my count choculate marilyn manson stinky loafallete immaculate into the suction of that stainless steealinl' throne of toilet that would deff did dun succc my dicc n balls up when I flushed that industrial vaccuum of space right into Tiestos molly shitted up festival face.

Dear lawd, holding in your shit while trying to not eat then watching hiroshima exit out your rear ass end when you've done your time & paid your dues by not eating for 3 days so you could avoid that cold ass street shitter next to that fapped wife beater while I tried to keep myself in a sleepy Alison Wonderland daze.

Fools just keep robbin' up the same ass store then falling ass asleep up in the AC vent. Falling through the ceiling, right back in the cell they went. Yup, just the always repeating 4x4 kick drum full of stories where they just happened to get bent. Who said you said, she sent? Who sent? You sent, for me? I'll admit, I am the studio tanned slim shady covered in GG Allin's feces and pee's, sees? So I would stand up like I'm in the brunch of Brady, but you know I don't have a smell vent to call mine, maybe.

 

Last edited: Mar 1, 2023

Xupito is Bender, he insert girder. Shuddup baby, he know it.

Besides why would you want Xupito to drink water without being the sole owner blackjack n hookers? Are you trying to watch his 4o'clock shadow turn into a full grown LA street bum hipster beard with a sober hooker that he pays to just listen to his sobering problems? Idk about you but I don't wanna watch mans throw himself into a bin like that, I'd rather donate to his peeplink "buy me a beer" fund to keep him in the game and ready.

Oi is it Xupito Mom spaghetti already? He eatin up off the floor sloppy drunk again without his baguettes of breaddi like that tittok chick that eats chips from the isle floor of the planes shes boarding to flight that I hope to fuck ain't headed straight to Bali. Cause I would not give shit for a fuck, I'd kick that winda out with my bare foot as a grabba parachute, I'm bailin'

Xsoup isn't like me and you that stay sober with Spongebobs atmospheric oceanic oxygen that's clitable of soluble solution. He needs booze to see 1's & 0's sober otherwise he will turn into that Chum of bucket around all that ocean that's utterly useless to him cause all he just wants is the recipe to Nashville's Pussy in a Whiskey Dick Bottle that won't fit into his spherical cupholder when all he's trying to do is bend some hooker fees and blackjack rules for some cash up under the table for next nights smash n dash. Mans life is booze n that money money of cash. Gang Gang incase you ain't hear him once.

Let me put it this way. If we are the Trailer Park Boys then am Ricky and need treefulls of dope to stay alive without resorting to huffing gas in jail to stay afloat. Then Xupito is Julian and needs his booze so he won't spiral into failed sobered up schemes that just won't let up so he won't have to drink mouthwash to get by in jail. While we wait for Bubbles in the cell to hopefully bring us dope + booze and not another pussy of cat. Thank Fuck Bubbles, you're the best. We love you.

 

Last edited: Mar 1, 2023

Holy shit, you bastards
I wake up early today and suddenly the thread has become "let's troll Xupito together"??

OMG you bad moth[BEEP]er $$%&[BEEP]&% . Too good
I'm fucking spilling out my coffee.

I'll be back. Fuckers... I love you all

 

that moment when your avatar is perfect for your post

 

It's inside a Mall. He enters the shop at the busiest time. On the way in he disables the locking mechanism of the door (superglue in the keyhole type thing or something more sophisticated). Then he sets off the fire alarm and either hides inside as the shop is abandoned or hides in the mall and returns once everybody has left. He walks back in, ideally pushing a trolley and wearing some kind of emergency service coat, goes into the storage area through the back (everything will be boxed), takes what he needs and heads to the car park level. Drives home, sets the computer up and immediately goes to audiosex.pro to boast about what his fictional character did.

If this is in America there's no need for any of this, he just shouts 'Shooter!' and plays samples of guns firing on strategically placed burner phones.

 

You guys know when somehow you have a little tiny suspicion that you're not totally being respected...?


BTW you nailed it talula. I chose on purpose this clueless face like "WTF is going on". Or another classic of mine: "what did I do this time?"
Inspired on actual events...

PS. Almost forgot. My people, beloved Audiosex fellas... With my full and undivided love this goes for y'all:

 

Xupito walks into the electronics store to steal a laptop...

More to come, had a few to think about it at a thermal bath while chilling

 

Here we go...

Scene synopsis...

Xupido walks into the store to steal a laptop. He has no real plan, but out of despiration begins praying under his breath for any, any space whatsoever to open up so that he might secure a laptop into his prized 1st edition Hello Kitty backpack and so enable him to make his music...at any cost.


Xupito notices an odd looking and very badly sunburnt looking fellow starring at him in a knowing way from near the back wall, the one full of televisions, the whole lot of them showing deadly plane crashes in rapid succession which transfixes his attention as he thinks that he sees himself as the pilot of a small Sessna that hits the side of an apartment building in his neighborhood. He mumbles "Huh!" to himself but quickly focuses back to the task at hand as the the odd red man winks at him and grins a big pointy toothed smile that kind of freaks him out, but his mind is again so occupied with the stealing of the laptop that he pushes it out of his mind to focus on the task at hand.

His eyes nervously scan the interior of the store to see where the security guard, the employees and the store manager are. There is a young pregnant woman with her father looking at baby monitors and an old lady walking to the register near the entrance escorted by a very, very tall male employee holding a box with a new Apple MacBook Air 13 M2 8CGPU 16GB 256GB inside of it, the print of the box shiney and new.

His eyes fix on the laptop, and then he hears whom he assumes is the store manager tell the security guard not six feet in back of where he's standing that he needs to take a shit. As the security guard walks past Xupito on the way to the front of the store he stares right in Xupito's eyes which makes Xupito's heart race in a near blinding fear. The guard stands at the entrance with his arms crossed over his chest looking imposing as fuck.

Xupito doesn't know what to do now. He can't perform a grab and run, snatch the box and hit the street because of the guard blocking the door. Xupito is now wet with sweat from nervousness. The sunburned man walks up to him and says, "Feeling a bit warm are you? You ain't seen nuthin' yet, brother!" as he pats Xupito on the back and goes to stand next to the cash register with a demented grin and chuckles.

The sunburnt man snaps his fingers and immediately there is heard the sound of gunshots outside on the street and a Korean gang of six men all dressed in identical black suits, white shirts and pink bowties stop, turn around and fire their weapons. The return of gunfire from their unseen assailants hits one of the Korean gang members in the knee, and as he falls spinning to the ground his sub machine gun spits out dozens of rounds, two of which go through the plate glass window hitting the cashier and the very tall salesman. The old lady screams, faints and with the blood of the salesman and cashier covering her face and upper body falls to the ground, the corner of the computer box falling from the great height of the salesman's hand, and landing on her throat hard enough to crush her larynx. She can be heard gurgling her last breaths.

In the maylay one of the bullets hits the driver of a truck going by the store that says Antiquity Museum stenciled on the side. From the bullet's impact in his left arm he sharply turns the wheel causing the truck to jack-knife, the back doors flying open and a mummy sarcophogus is flung forcefully through the air smashing through the front door of the store and instantly killing the security guard from the trauma of the stone hitting his chest, the lid falling off of the coffin and the mummy now laying on top of the guard. The pregnant woman immediately goes into labor, the newborn dropping out of her womb and into the hands of the now squatting mother, and in great pain and sadness screams as her father has a massive coronary, holds his hands to his chest as he falls backwatds and dies before even hitting the ground. The store manager comes shreiking into the store from the back, his pants around his knees and screaming from the lobster clamped to his penis, the lobster a rescue by the cashier earlier that day from a Chinese restaurant down the street and left in the toilet as being the only pool of water available. The lobster doubles down and slices off the penis as the manager screams in even greater pain bent over and bleeding profusely, and the next moment the lobster is crushed by the manager's forehead as he face plants from finally tripping from his pants dropping down to his ankles, the dismembered penis bloody and flaccid lying next to the now dead crustacean.

Xupito is in shock but gathers his wits enough to finally realize his opportunity. He walks quickly to the cash register and grabs the laptop off of the dying old lady, and as he negotiates through the broken plate glass window and wreckage of the door while trying to avoid the dead security guard and mummy, he slices through his pants down and through his femoral artery on a large jagged edge of glass protruding upwards from the frame of what was the window and falls to the ground just outside of the store, sitting with his back propped up by what's left of the facade of the electronics store, a pool of blood rapidly growing on the sidewalk where he sits next to his right destroyed leg. The sunburnt man stops as he exits the store, looks down at the dying Xupito and tells him that he'll see him soon and vanishes in a puff of smoke. Xupito smells the strong odor of sulfer as his vision begins to blur and is just about to go unconscious from the lack of blood.

An extraordinarily tiny female dwarf appears out of nowhere and stands eye to eye with Xupito even though Xupito is sitting on his butt on the sidewalk, she's that small. She is dressed in a clown costume and sporting dayglo green hair and a black bowler hat. The lady dwarf then calmly and in earnest asks Xupito in her odd high and squeaky voice, "Hey lover, got a Euro to help a gal buy a hot meal?". Xupito who now is very, very weak, confused and a moment away from death's door says with his last dying breath, "No, I only have a ten." The dwarf laughs loudly and replies, "That's OK, I got change" as she snatches the laptop out of Xupito's now dead hands and skips away down the street singing in a high soprano at the top of her little lungs Moterhead's iconic song Ace Of Spades.

Copywrite March 1st, 2023 by Lois Lane

 

Last edited: Mar 13, 2023

This is good shit to read while blazing a spliff

 

Shite like this is good to write while blazing a spliff.