first off to start this thread i find this place a place where i can tell people about my problems and find support i know many people will tell me to s*** it up and stuff like that but in reality i've found many people here willing to help so there it goes i have asperger grade 1 i've been getting abilify injections for almost 2 years i don't know when they will stop injecting me this stuff probably in a few years probably by 2027 i will be free from abilify and besides the lack of sexual drive ( my stick feels like a plastic ) i dont feel motivated to make music as i did before i know abilify causes brain damage i dont know how much this is impacting my ability to create music not to mention the innability to use drugs currently ( cant smoke weed or do coke or any other drug ) and this is making me really sad im currently on a cto so i cant get off the injections somedays i feel suicidal and i dont know what to do anymore gotta mention sometimes i drink but i cant feel the effects of alcohol so yeah im pretty f**** any tips on how to manage this situation would be aprecciated love you all ( no homo )

 

I've been taking Abilify for 12 years. It has had zero effects on me like it has you. I wish you the best

 

Man. I wish I new how to help. I've dealt with antidepressants and this sounds worse. Have you been to see a different doctor? A second opinion might help...

 

injection or pills? ive heard they affect people differently depending on what you take i cant smoke weed right now i get a extreme shortness of breath (gotta force myself to breathe manually sometimes even forcing myself cant even breathe right ) that lasts for 6 or more hours it's a nightmare not to mention the lack of sexual drive it totally s**** thank you man im glad there are good people on this site

 

i cant see a different doctor im forced to go to a public psychiatrist every month 2 months and take the injection monthly sometimes even sooner than monthly this s**** too much thank you for wanting to help you are a good human being

 

I take the tablet form daily for bipolar type 2.

 

oh ive heard the pills dont do as much damage as the injections also can you smoke weed? with no issues?

 

Yeah, no issues with THC. You mentioned you can't do coke anymore. I'm not getting into a discussion about your use of that other than to say: please stop for your mental health.

 

been taking unprocessed fresh Kratom leaves straight from the tree, traditionally boiled with water, nothing else, doing it home myself. One full glass per day for 15 years without fail. Not less, not more, that is the exact amount. It's some kind of ancient medicine here, all the older locals here take it daily for 80 years, none of them died because of it other than natural cause of course lol. Yes it's addictive, I will die without it for one day haha, dunno, never tried it. I even bring stocks when I travel abroad. lol. I'm physically healthy af, can play football, basketball or whatever the activities, stamina is great, libido great, musical talent unworldly, everything fine, strong enough if someone want to rob me, i can probably fight, win or lose is another story, but yeah. 100% healthy on medical checkup too. 0 depression for... 15 years now ?

I hate modern medicine, Xanax, Zoloft all those shit I may have been prescribed with it back in my early 20s because of stress but I fucking hate them, didnt really take them, only to sleep. Then I found Kratom, life has been better since. Stopped doing drugs, I never really like weed, and I feel stupid to smoke weed when I have Kratom, just better, 0 side effect, 0 anything, not high, fully functional just normal, but feeling okay. I just get drunk occasionally with the boys on night out.

During covid, everyone around me got infected, I didn't. I rarely get cold, fever too, been 2 years atleast ? cant tell. The best part of Kratom, you dont get high or dizzy or whatever, it's just you don't feel like shit, no negative feelings, everything else is normal, for music, you just get that focus, it's like 2-3 times stronger than coffee, it's enough, it works. It's just herbal tea after all.

 

you are so lucky man my experiences with weed are horrible i dont do coke anymore so dont worry i am safe from coke i just used to do it from what ive read from another site alot of other people on abilify even in pill form had the same experience that i had with weed an extreme shortness of breath that lasts for hours so you may be lucky

 

ive heard stories about kratom and it seems like a good choice i might go to a herbal store and buy some kratom , can you smoke it?

 

no, just boil and drink like you would any herbal tea.

 

ok i will give it a try thanks for the recomendation

 

Just out of curiosity, what country are you in? Can you not ask for modification to your treatment based on the fact that it's totally fucking you up?

 

im in spain and no i cant ask for a modification my psychiatrist says she will lower my dose possibly in february 2024 to 300 mg monthly injection i guess it's better than nothing still it's f**** up

 

If you have problems with your medications do a thorough research on them about all possible side effects, interactions,etc, then get a second opinion. find a good trustworthy doctor with many years of actual experience. Don't bother with young Know-it-all imbeciles interning or just out of med school, they are useless. There are some good doctors around so never self medicate or take chances with your health, always refer to them for advice.

 

Last edited: Oct 29, 2023

Dude WTF.

Here's a guy who says he's fucked up in the head, has suicidal thoughts, is obviously prone to addiction -judging by his post the inability to do drugs is causing as much, if not more, sadness than the inability to make music.. and you're telling him that a HIGHLY addictive substance turns you into Superman as long as you keep your dosage the same, something the vast majority of users are completely unable to do? Seriously?

I mean BIG kudos to you and all the elderly people around you for being able to keep it to reasonable levels for so long. Many people, especially those who don't live where Kratom is part of the local culture or those who don't use it for pain management and/or as an opiate substitute, usually up their dosage frequently until they just can't function without taking huge amounts daily.

It's not "just herbal tea after all" unless you wanna play the semantics game. I've not heard of support groups for people trying to quit Yerba Mate, or people getting hardcore withdrawals from Hibiscus tea. And "just herbal tea" doesn't mean anything either, Datura is "just herbal tea" that's been used medicinally for at least hundreds of years that we have on record, but dose it a bit too much and you're dead.

Also, you can't be unaware that unless you live somewhere you can get unprocessed fresh Kratom leaves from the tree (so basically parts of SE Asia) most of the stuff you get is of dubious quality at best, right? Right?

Obviously you're a very responsible person, given how you are in control of your doses, and judging by your post you're good at everything, you're even stronger than Covid. But this is terribly, highly irresponsible advice.

@KUSHSMOKERLIT Dude, if you're depressed, have addiction issues etc. PLEASE educate yourself on Kratom before even considering giving it a shot. Take some time to read through this sub :
https://www.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/top/?t=all

I have Asperger's too (among a few other things), I've dealt with depression and addiction -including Kratom, duh- all my life. I understand where you're coming from, so PLEASE be careful with Kratom. I didn't even notice how quickly it crept up on me until I realized I was spending a small fortune every month just to maintain.

Regarding the ability to make music, after several years of bad treatment I've had a three year period where I couldn't write anything, to the point where just looking at a DAW had become painful. It eventually went away. I'm still not writing much but the joy of just playing and making noises is back. I hope it will be the same for you.

And I'm really sorry that you're in this situation, hope you come through the other side, sooner than later.

 

I've had family members whose lives were destroyed by good trustworthy doctors with many years of actual experience, and some of the best doctors I've been to were younger than me (and I'm not even old).

The main problem is finding the good doctors. And one person's good doctor could be totally useless to another person.

Age and experience can actually be a huge negative when combined with an inflated ego and narcissism. Some older doctors can't stand that their word is not taken for gospel, and things get really ugly.

 

this might not violate freedom of speech but a music forum is a piss poor place for medical advice I'd say

 

dunno about everyone else, or what internet tells you. I can only talk from my experience and people around me. any type of substance if you keep up the dosage will kill you in a way. It's addictive, not HIGHLY addictive no, cigarette is way above it, the gap between cigarette addiction to Kratom is hugeeee. Marijuana, meth, coke, everything else is way way way above it. (well, I did all back in my 20s) Withdrawal can be bad if your daily dosage is high, I guess ? I truly dont know, but that's just basic math I think. I mentioned my dose, and it keeps me going for 15 years and have my medical record to prove it. I don't know if people consume more than 3 glasses perday, sure dont know what will they become, nobody does that here. it's not like you get higher if consume more. it doesnt work like that. of course all substances are dangerous, unless you know how to be smart and play in the grey area. it applies to all type of substance. afaik no one died because of it, or went crazy or broken or become anything out of ordinary. that's how it is when you don't abuse it, i treat it like medicine (or breakfast rather) , and it works for me, i tell my story, 15 years is enough of duration to have an opinion about it I guess ? no ? you don't become superman either. it's not like you get high or anything. I bet my life on it that daily caffeine intake by normal people are way more addictive, kicks harder (in term of wakefulness) and way more dangerous and technically higher in dosage of active chemicals. Again, it's from my experience, that's how it is to me. Also there are other part of the world that can grow that tree, but people don't know/care about it just yet. ;)

 

Last edited: Oct 29, 2023