Help a brother out?

Discussion in 'Our Music' started by kjfarrell, Oct 15, 2016.

  1. kjfarrell

    kjfarrell Platinum Record

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    Hi guys,

    So I'm forever trying to write music that I would want to listen to. Every time I release a song I believe I have improved on my last.

    So my last song I really wanted to experiment with Tension Release, something I've been lacking in my releases. But the song hasn't had many listens, to be honest I don't understand why.

    So if you get a moment can you give me a brutally honest review of my track? I'm not going to re do it in anyway but I'd like to know what to improve on for later releases.



    Thanks guys
     
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  3. Herr Durr

    Herr Durr Guest

    with that title I was expecting something a little more hallo-weenie :winker:

    bass is a bit too repetitive to be such a prominent part of the track... but then maybe this is how it's supposed to be?
    some cool arpy stuff going on... it doesn't sound bad at all.. but I can't think of any element that really stands out
    I was listening on fairly ok cans, and the bass was lacking in some beef even tho it seemed to be riding on top of everything at times..and the drums sounded a bit "dry" sorry I can't exactly suggest an improvement

    I'm not trying to be harsh really, just give an immediate impression

    I found @subGENRE 's recent track to be interesting coz he tries some different things that keep it interesting
    I mean when you have this huge bag of tricks ( musical elements and processing plugs) come up with something
    for the listener to discover..rather than make them say wow.. this sounds (and feels) so much like xyz track
    I just played 5 mins ago...

    but keep in mind you are asking some fairly picky music wonks here.. so.. :dunno:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2016
  4. kjfarrell

    kjfarrell Platinum Record

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    Thanks Herr, I appreciate the review. Already gives me ideas for improvement.
     
  5. bandssound

    bandssound Newbie

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    sounds good, i like it. the more detailed of what you want is also a goos way to request what people hear. i like were your heart is, your already ahead of the crowd if you can take critsizm
     
  6. beatmagnus

    beatmagnus Guest

    Its got all of the pieces, the melodic journey is dope. My opinion might be that it could use some space, maybe tweak the melodic elements with fx a little more. Also I might brighten the overall mix a bit. Those transitional fx, rises and such might sound more exciting if they're turned up. Also an outro, would be cool too, the ending felt a bit underwhelming. Thanks for sharing!
     
  7. dbmuzik

    dbmuzik Platinum Record

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    I'm not going to sit up and critique every little thing like if the editing tasks were up to me. Something you can do quickly for a listening comparison is: Shorten the sustain and release of the bass notes. It will detach the listeners ears from the simplistic melody and jolly tone of the bass and suit the track better if the bass is in the form of a tight rhythmic element. That will also allow you to dirty the bass up a little so it's nastier and funkier = more character.
     
  8. kjfarrell

    kjfarrell Platinum Record

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    Thanks for the advice guys, really appreciate the time you took to listen and comment.
     
  9. Von_Steyr

    Von_Steyr Guest

    The arrangements are not exciting.I would start the song at 1:03.
    Picking the right sounds,interesting sounds from the get go is very important.
    You still have a lot to learn about EQing and compression,leveling, you will get there if you work hard on it.
    Always ask yourself, do i love this, does it make you dance?It should.
    Always be honest to yourself.
     
  10. Baxter

    Baxter Audiosexual

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    7 seconds. That's the average focus span of most people. I started skipping after 3.
    You have to grab the listener right away. Hooks, melodies, catchy and simple repetetitions (but not overly repetative like in your track), variations, dynamics, call and response, etc. Analyze others work and you will probably find how they do things (and how they don't do it).

    You have the melodic touch and music theory down, but you seem to have trouble with strong hooks, leads, top-lines, arrangement, mixing and mastering.
     
  11. kjfarrell

    kjfarrell Platinum Record

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    I get what your all saying, I'm conflicted with this grab attention in how ever many seconds. Because I play these songs at shows I write them with DJ friendly intro's. So I try and get the hook in there as soon as I can, but by leaving a good 30 seconds of DJ intro. All my music from Beatport that I spin all have a good 30 seconds of just beats very little melodic content, which helps me mix in. If I where writing a track for radio I would probably start with the hook straight away.

    I'll try a song with no DJ intro (and just keep one for spinning with an intro) and see what people think.
     
  12. Backtired

    Backtired Audiosexual

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    That's what club and radio mixes are for :bleh:
    Who said you need to have only one version for your track? Go ahead and make various mixes.
    Honestly making multiple versions of the same track also stimulates a little bit your fantasy and creativity (as long as it's not only a shortened version). It makes you think: "what else can I do with this melody/sound that I haven't already done?"
    And then you end up: "oh God, now I can't decide which one is the best!" (or worst, in some cases :bleh:)

    As I said in tag, the sound sounds clean and clear to me, especially the main instruments-synths playing. Just not my genre of music though :dunno: Just wanted to tell you why you don't make more versions
     
  13. Peppe

    Peppe Member

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    Just my 2 cents... After decades of electronic dance music (even if it went by other names), people's tastes have developed. Novelty has moved to new areas, things that used to be fresh and exciting are constantly substituted by new ones. There is great electronic dance music since the 80's and the foundation set back then may still be with us today, however many more elements have been built on it since then. Like others already pointed out, to grab the listener's attention you need something fresh and exciting, an element of novelty. Otherwise the reaction will be like "I've heard that before". Now, as dance music is elaborating on rhythm, rather than harmony/melody, I believe it is rhythm where the focus should be. I don't feel like telling you what I think you should do, I don't trust my own taste enough, plus I think there is no workaround for discovery. But I can suggest what to look for and my advice to you is to try to dig deeper into tracks you like and identify the rhythmic elements that attract you to them, like groove (e.g. swing timings, early/late hits), rhythmic arrangements (e.g. percussion hidden in the background), as well as the rhythmic role of the tonal instruments. Best of luck. :)
     
  14. Master Q

    Master Q Producer

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    Id master if if you like ... Can definitely make some improvements in the banlance of things
     
  15. Master Q

    Master Q Producer

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    P.S I love the track its definitely one i would choose to master if a client sent it to me
     
  16. Seedz

    Seedz Rock Star

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    So I'm forever trying to write music that I would want to listen to. Every time I release a song I believe I have improved on my last.

    I think thats about all anyone can ever hope to achieve..........so if as you say you're managing that, personally I'd be happy.

    Rinse and repeat, and above all else, enjoy the process :grooves:
     
  17. kooper

    kooper Platinum Record

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    Well if it were me, I'd be looking at some guitars. Some different patterns inserted into the arrangement to change things up, and maybe some melody. Lead instrument.
     
  18. Master Q

    Master Q Producer

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    should you be here, I thought you were busy mastering LOL
     
  19. Seedz

    Seedz Rock Star

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    Wot can I tel Yooooooooooooooooooo, I'm a slacker............an' me ears are bleedin' :bleh:
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2016
  20. kjfarrell

    kjfarrell Platinum Record

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    Lot's of good advice guys, I'll try some stuff out. Thanks for taking the time, I really appreciate it :)
     
  21. Master Q

    Master Q Producer

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    LOL
     
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