Hey guys,

I have friends who really do become upset because I am in the studio working on my craft. I feel like I rarely get any inspiration by the recent get togethers I had with most of them. I am usually just there and we don't really talk about stuff that interests me or listen to music that I like. And often I end up regretting even getting there.

On the other hand, I feel kinda shitty that they say stuff like "man you gotta leave your enviroment".
I feel like it's kinda egoistic to put my craft over my friends, but someone who has non can not give anything. And when I don't have any vibes in the function I cannot give them and honestly saying stuff like that to me does not help.

Did anyone of you experience similar things like friends getting upset that you are in the studio almost all the time?

I also suffer a little bit from anxiety, so it could help being with them but than again it is said that you are the average of the five people you sourround yourself the most. None of them do anything creative. They mostly work their Job and do Get togethers like this one. One of them used to be hard working, the one who actually told me what I wrote above, but I feel like he is not on his grind anymore and he also became a bit weird to me. Id say we are not as good of friends we were before. He has friends who I don't really want to asscociate with, kinda makes me feel bad about myself. Altough I feel like these people take away from me more than I can give.

I work my Job too and than I spent time on my craft, because I want to become better.

I am german so please excuse my grammar.

 

if they take away from you more than what you can give it's time for you to go solo maybe?

 

Yeah man you seem to be right!

 

Hey man, its a very sensitive issue you should talk to with said friends and people close to you/that know you to get the most appropriate advice in my opinion. That being said, its generally important to set time limits for work and the studio because you can easily wear out/get fatigued and lose your momentum. You might not notice now, but it can hit you later when its too late. You need to set a balance, especially to avoid mental health issues, because you CAN spend all your time in the studio and become a huge success in no time, but you might have a ton of issues in the back end, and I PERSONALLY do not think it's worth the risk. The studio might be your stress buster for work, but eventually, you'll need a stress buster for the studio, and that's where traditionally family and friends fit in. (Doesn't have to be the same group of friends)

Just my two cents. Goodluck with everything man, and I hope you work your issue out!

 

Just tell them we're in a FUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC and that you're probably better off in the studio right now, at least for the most part. That being said, you can find a little time to make for them- even if it's once every couple weeks or so. Shutting yourself off completely isn't going to help your goals (most likely, anyway).

 

I appreciate yall's input so far!!

 

I'm 44 and I believe if I'd had the courage to say "No" to my friends in my 20s and 30s, I would have made far more progress in my musical life than where I am at today. Too much liquor, partying and pointless conversations with friends was great fun in my youth... But in retrospect, I would have cut down on friendtime in a big way and focused on my craft.

This is just my personal opinion and each of us are in different situations.

All the best!

 

I prefer musical instruments to people.
They don't complain when you put them down or turn them off.

 

What you said about your anxiety is important too. Acknowledge the fact that people who have anxiety problems tend to be introverts and can easily enter into the pitfalls of self isolation. Sometimes constant time in the studio can be a good excuse to be anti social, which isn't emotionally healthy. Some social balance is important for you I think, but maybe with a crowd more in line with the things that interest you.

 

Exactly what I was thinking appreciate your input!

And of course the input of the other commentators too!!

 

If you dont work on your thing now, you'll go old without achieving anything... Where will be these friends then?

People who take you off from your craft and goals are not friends...

All of this IMHO of an already old working musician.

 

I was always thinking to myself that they don't mean it this way, but what you said really hit home.

 

It is hard to give advice on a sensitive situation but to me real (and true) friends are the ones who support and encourage...

 

Never friends getting upset...was ALWAYS the ex-wives..lol

Now seriously....they are not tru friends if they only care about what they want and not what YOU want

Tell luv me or fk off Mate!!! in the end it's tru!

 

which friends?

 

i used to think i was selfish & turn off... until... i wonder whats on the telly... WUT! i hate telly everyone out! at least thats how it was done in Glasgow 1990 (age21).. all they really wanted was to smoke my weed while i played.. lol none of them are around today.

 

Very often, people don't mean it that way, but still the result is take you out of your own way.
So many arm can be done with innocent intentions...

Be patient with them, as for people who don't have a passion, it's difficult to understand why you need it.
So, try to explain how much you need and want to do music, what does it brings to you, your personal balance and so.
If they still don't understand, you'd better follow your way.

Not because I say it, but simply read the story of most of the professionals. Most of them will have a moment in their youth which is like " I discovered music, then I understood that this was what I wanted to do. From this moment I would just do it on all the free time I had"
Even if you have "talent" which I prefer to call facility, nothing can replace work and constancy.

 

Last edited: Aug 21, 2020

Friends come and go but your legacy is forever

 

"Be yourself, no matter what they say"
Sting, Philosopher.