Easiest way to fail playing "jazz"

Discussion in 'Education' started by retsoff119, Apr 16, 2018.

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  1. retsoff119

    retsoff119 Ultrasonic

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    Rule #1 :
    Do not listen to jazz , learn theory instead .
    Rule #2 :
    Don't transcribe , learn theory instead .
    Rule #3 :
    Forget about learning tunes , learn theory instead .Learn tunes after .
    Rule #4 :
    If you ever feel to pick up ideas from a solo or learn a tune ,learn it from a book ,
    don't transcribe it yourself .
    Rule #5 :
    If you ever feel to learn a tune , learn it from a book , no need to listen .
    Rule #6 :
    Learn your jazz scales , the more jazz scales you know , the better you are .
    Rule #7 :
    Don't listen to other musicians advices if you ever feel out of place on jam sessions if you know your theory , jazz scales and other jazz secrets you can not be wrong .
    Last but not least :
    1b:
    Notes are more important than rhythm so do not worry about note placement .
    2b:
    Swing is an outdated concept ,so don't worry about this .
    3b:
    You don't need to listen to others in a band , just concentrate on your own part
    4b:
    Let the blues to blues players ! Are they worth something with their blues scales and so , just
    ask them which scale to play on a lydian#9 chord , they can't answer , so they are no good for jazz !

    Apply all these rules , learn your theory , fail guaranteed 100% .
    You can find great sources of info on this site , we have the chance to have the best advices coming from an expert !
    Guess Who ?
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
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  3. superliquidsunshine

    superliquidsunshine Audiosexual

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    I hadn't been feeling well for months so I went to my doctor. She asked me a bunch of questions, took some tests, some urine and some blood and said that she would call me when the results came back, when she had time to interpret them and make a diagnosis. About five days later she texted me. I wrote back and made an appointment to come in the next day. Rachel and I had known each other since undergraduate days, knew each other well, and her not meeting my eyes in familiar fashion when I walked into her office as per usual over the years of our friendship sent a shiver up and down my spine. I had a palatable sense that whatever information coming my way wasn't going to be of a positive note, my body tensing as if readying to be punched hard in the gut. I felt the sweat begin trickling down my armpits in rivulets and my hands began to shake...I was scared as hell. She absently shuffled some papers that were in front of her, putting off the inevitable and I could sense from her body language that she was dreading what needed to be said. She raised her face up from the desk to meet my own and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. She reached out and took my hands in hers and said, "Your jazz chops suck big time and you're going to die. There is no amount of theory that can save you, and the only thing that might postpone the inevitable, albeit for perhaps a few months on the outside, is just playing along with old recordings such as Miles's Kind of Blue or Brubeck's Time Out. She couldn't hold it together and jumped out of her chair, strode around her desk, and as I stood up to meet her she and wrapped her arms around me, enveloping me with her love. We embraced, both of us crying, and when our tears were empty we just slowly swayed together, rocking silently for what seemed like an eternity.
     
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  4. BaSsDuDe

    BaSsDuDe Platinum Record

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    That might be one of the funniest parodies I have seen on this subject. Well done :)
     
  5. BaSsDuDe

    BaSsDuDe Platinum Record

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    Theory is a hypothesis.
    Fact is the implementation of the hypothesis - The doing turns the hypothesis into fact.
    Without the doing, it is just a theory.
     
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  6. farao

    farao Platinum Record

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    :trolls:
     
  7. BaSsDuDe

    BaSsDuDe Platinum Record

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    Jazz has evolved into a wonderfully diverse set of fused styles. The principles still remain. I love all styles of jazz and I can recognise anyone near immediately by their playing that has learned jazz from the ground up and spent years honing their craft. Whether this is Acid-Jazz, Smooth Jazz, Jazz-rock, latin-jazz, mainstream, bebop, hardbop or any combination. I can also recognise someone who has not honed their craft.

    Here are excerpts of two CD's I did 10-20 years ago. They show the electric and acoustic of some of the "Soli" aspects [written solos on more than one instrument], ensemble aspects and improvisation aspects as well as some freestyle playing in an ensemble and various facets of many in jazz, but not all. I am in a different writing space now as can be heard on the last CD after these and I am in a different space yet again since then. A stasis is not conducive to progression. It is important to break new boundaries but in doing that staying true to the principles of the foundation of the very boundaries a person wishes to extend.
    I do not expect anyone to like them, that is personal taste which I completely expect and respect.
    The proof is in the demonstrable performance. I can back up anything in music that I tell anyone and if I cannot back it up, I STFU. It is the right way to do it.
    I would NEVER say it is the only way to do it, that would make me a fool if I did that, nor would I say do it a certain way if I could not do it myself.

     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2018
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  8. Jazz-N-Stuff

    Jazz-N-Stuff Producer

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    Jazz is the Teacher-Funk is the Preacher!
     
  9. m9cao

    m9cao Kapellmeister

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    why yours everydays talking(arguing) about jazz? still not fully understood the jazz theory? or you want destroy the jazz musician groups, why not develop a new music theory? and why there are so many silly people continually pissing jazz theory at anywhere?

    i should say that in my view, jazz theory something like a android sdk, if you have some years experience of java programming(making music) its easy to understand, but for those newbies in music theory, do not start from completely blank.
     
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  10. foster911

    foster911 Audiosexual

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    My problem with Jazz is:

    It's not a well-pre-thought art form. I've heard contradictory statements to mine million times but the reality never changes. Pure jazz is based on on-the-fly improvisations and with improvisation humans can not make powerful music. Jazz music is weak music. :wink:
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
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  11. BaSsDuDe

    BaSsDuDe Platinum Record

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    Some pure objective thought:

    America should take pride that Jazz is its only world recognised true art form. It is worth protecting. Therefore it should be every American's care and due to ensure that it is given to the world in the manner it was always intended to be passed along.
    Nobody has to like a specific style of Art, but if the country you reside in has such a great thing as being the source of its creation, then it is worthy of respecting it, even if someone hates it, especially when the same country has offered nothing else in Art that is truly American in creation of a unique Art form.
    America got the Gold Medal in the Art Olympics for its creation and nobody can take that away from you.
    Love it or hate it, it's still yours.
     
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  12. Spyfxmk2

    Spyfxmk2 Platinum Record

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    Hello @foster911 ,how are you ? i hope all is good :wink::winker::bow:
    there are no problems in jazz my friend....it is JAZZ. :yes:

    imho any artform that comes from a pre/thoughts is not well,The mind is a tool & yes very useful, art comes from your "heart" & your inspiration,the tool is your creations/creativity :bow:
    any kind of music is not supposed to be powerful, again imho :bow:
    Power requires energy & effort can drain you & your creativity :bow:
    Music is about emotion & transmitting that to your so "called" audience,but i prefer to call anyone that listens to my music a friend :winker::bow:
    Jazz & music in general is a universal language & travels thru our hearts at any given time, therefore it can never be weak :bow:
    A creator and/or his method of doing things can be weak, not the music :keys: :wink::winker::bow:

    Now go make a foster jazz track :winker::bow: using your on the fly inspiration :yes: & some theory too :yes: :winker:

    Thank you for your time :bow:
     
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  13. BaSsDuDe

    BaSsDuDe Platinum Record

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    There should be an "award" emoticon not just a winner emoticon, I'd give it to this post.
    Or in the words of Frank Sinatra:
    "Bada bing, bada boom"
     
  14. DoubleSharp

    DoubleSharp Producer

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  15. BaSsDuDe

    BaSsDuDe Platinum Record

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    Great Gospel Jazz post.

    Many people don't know that it's Joe Zawinul one of the founders of "Weather Report" in this band on keys. Many people also do not know that George Duke also got his jazz education with Cannonball either.
    This is such a universal jazz piece, rock bands and funk bands have been known to play it too.
    Mercy mercy i.e.

     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
  16. m9cao

    m9cao Kapellmeister

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    every actions from any people is already exist in their head, whether you believe it or not, its truth.
    lets back to and living at the real world, but not in a autism self deception mind world.
     
  17. m9cao

    m9cao Kapellmeister

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    americans want to dominate everything in the world but sometimes they cant, a country called china has so many pingpong gold medals, so do you know what happened after? the pingpong match was removed from Olympic, hahahah.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
  18. MMJ2017

    MMJ2017 Audiosexual

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    yes the moment OF choosing is, BUT WHAT is chosen is not. the knowledge is pre-existing of what all 12 notes are going to come out like with X as the center point.(KEY you are in)
    where as the way YOU make music is truly spontaneous no matter how long it tykes to make it(say 17 months 1 song) because you are randomly choosing and making decisions. you dont know how music works so you guess and guess and 17 months of guessing until it feels right.that is true spontaneous a random generator and you want to call that art? random generation?

    the truth is you only see jazz as spontaneous from the outside looking in.from your imagination you are having your ignorance and untrained ears create a way of seeing something different form what it is.
    I have a challenge for you.

    setup a daw project with 120 bpm 4 bars of CEG chord then four bars of CEGBD then four bars of CEG then for bars of CEGBDF#A
    next 4 bars of GBD next 4 bars of GBDFACE nect 4 bars of BGD next 4 bars of GBD#FAC# next 4 bars of GBD 4 bars of GBDFACE

    listen to it on loop for 30 mins a day for a week. ALL music will transform for you like listening to music for the very first time, because you will hear depth in music for the first time.
     
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  19. MMJ2017

    MMJ2017 Audiosexual

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    JAZZ is a dead genre in the eyes of the public(just copying exactly like how it was in past), its knowledge impacted history forever, having its knowledge of jazz you can take that along with knowledge of all the genres and history of music and create something brand new THAT is why it is important to have its knowledge to create something brand new with it.with knowledge of how music works YOU can create something brand new THAT is the value of studying music history and each genres contributions.
    every genre that came after jazz took things from it.
    jazz took from European, classical,marching band ,blues, Caribbean, habanera, ragtime, minstrelsy, and gospel
    and created a new genre JASS which became JAZZ
    now we have to take from everything that came before from the whole history of music until this day and create a new form of music also.
    this is why we learn and study the impact and knowledge of JAZZ and every other genre.
     
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  20. superliquidsunshine

    superliquidsunshine Audiosexual

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    That, is like saying, "Foster makes a strong argument in favor of his thesis", which entirely is devoid of substance.
     
  21. superliquidsunshine

    superliquidsunshine Audiosexual

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    Foster: Spontaneous acts are not planned, arranged, but are done because someone suddenly wants to do them.

    So has every other piece of music that has ever been written including your own. You have defined creation itself.

     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2018
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