Hi!

Saint if you care about the members of your site, you will keep this post.

This is my first on probably the last post I will make.

I found this website a few of years ago. Before that I used to make music. For the past twelve months, I've made one single song. And that probably wouldn't have happened hadn't the song been for a competition.

Someone could say that I've become addicted to downloading music software.

Getting the latest software with less bugs than the previous version has become an obsession. I'm almost afraid of bugs. And being a perfectionist I've wanted to have the best possible tools available. Another funny curiosity is that I've spent more hours on watching tutorials on "how to make music" than actually making music or playing or practicing. And playing was something that I really loved. And something that I still love.

I've made music. I cannot deny that. But it's happened only inside my head. And now it seems that I cannot handle those ideas anymore. Musical ideas that I have never realized. I would have to make music for 10 years strainght that I could get those ideas out of my head.

Now I feel guilty and ashamed of the time that I feel I have wasted.

I don't want to blame anyone - the site nor it's contributors.

The problem is not the site. There are a bunch of them, anyway. I know that the problem has been inside my head.

But I hope that if you answered "yes" to the question I posted you really pay attention to your own behavior.

I would say that the main problem that I've had is that I haven't been living in the present. Using the stuff I already have. Playing.

Now that I have all the possible digital tools that you could see in a professional studio I feel that I've lost my creativity. I think that you need to have some restrictions to be creative.

Are you a digital hoarder?
http://vimeo.com/603058

Are you a donwloading addict?

Regards,
Obsessed

 

Hi
I completely relate to everything you said. I'm also entering audioz every 10 minutes to check for "New" sample libraries or update. The worst part is that I also buying sample libraries and have a hole in my wallet. I was a professional guitar player playing 8 hours a day once without any technology just guitar and an amp.. boy that was simple life. Now everything gets better and easier each year so that I have to get it.

I'm also a perfectionist and instead of sketching 3 minutes song I find myself mixing one part of guitar for 1 hour
and at the end just drop the project and starting something new.

I really in a bad shape because of these I feel this obsession controlling me and I can't get out of it.
If anyone knows what to do please advise.

 

I suggest you to contact a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

The first step in recovering from an addiction is that you admit it. Next step is that you seek help.

There are anxiety, ocd and addiction forums, too, if you google. Just remember, stay away from "easy solution" internet scams (such as calmclinic). They will only take your money. If you cannot pay for a psychiatrist it helps if you have a trusted person you can talk to. A good fríend or a family member. However, don't talk to anybody. Concider if this is a person you can truly trust - a person that doesn't tell your problems to other people. You have to protect yourself, too.

However, don't lose your hope. The addiction your behavior has created can be reversed with an altered behavior. If you can afford psychotherapy I highly recommend that. Psychotherapy can be an additional help but your best help is yourself. You are the one who can make the change. Nobody else can do that for you. And a change might not happen in one day.

Don't lose your hope.

Did this help at all? If you have any additional questions, please ask.

 

I download more than i use.

 

This could be a worrying sign.

 

This is a website I found. Doesn't seem like a scam.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm

 

we like this site,because all free,but it's enough,enough,dont be downloading everyday,it's boring,we must making music.

 

Yeah, nowadays there are so many examples of perfectly produced records, where we all more or less aim. Thou it's not self evident necessary. Or shouldn't be. As home audio freak can have same tools as professionals, there isn't that much limitations for what one is capable. But.. even with the all tools to be a purist, aiming always clearest audio possible, style still matters more. Like if you're going to process the hell out of track, does it have to be clearest possible source? Or just enough to maintain clarity?
And most importantly, your own style.
Perfection is an enemy of creativity, as how you do it matters more than what you're doing. Such as having new tools is more of a addiction than creating with them.

Guess there is no cure to that, other than braking the habit by creating. After all it's a habit, which might have grown up to addiction. We might talk with Saint about a possibility of building a AudioZ rehab clinic. Like why that guy had to create such addictive site?!

 

It could be the fact that the links are not live long as they was a few years ago,
so subconsciously you think if I don't get now its gone forever.


or get a new dealer so you can spend more time awake

 

Having every sample pack and virtual instrument released doesn't make you a better musician...it makes you a Collector. I'm afraid this community is full of much more collectors than musicians.

I really like the term "Digital Hoarder." I must admit, I was once afflicted with this disease. But now I believe in trying to live a simple life. There are a few rules I've learned to deal with hoarding.

1. Only keep what is beautiful or useful
2. If you haven't used it in the past 2 weeks, get rid of it
3. Before downloading something new ask yourself, do I really need this?

 

These are good instructions. I realized myself that I'm a digital hoarder. How did you overcome your habit? How long did it take?

 

Hi Obsessed!

I think we are on the same boat...

 

I never understood why so many people downloading gigabytes of sounds on audioz... They have a billion samples, hundrets of synthesizers, even more effect plugins, but it dont help... The thing is, when you buy something you have an other relation to it. i mean you payed a lot of money for it, so you have to use it. I think it's a problem many people have, the mass of free files (legal or illegal) make them want to have all of them. I don't know how to help someone who have this problem, I'm glad that I dont have it, and it kind of feels good to spend your money on something, makes the hobby valuable...

 

As any recovering addict will tell you, it is a lifelong process. The cravings never go away. All we can do is train ourselves to become stronger than the cravings. Although the internet is an amazing tool, it has also brought with it new addictions apart from the usual drugs, alchohol, cigarettes...etc. Now we have digital hoarding, social networking, and even addiction to the internet itself.

Another question I ask myself before downloading anything new is, "Is it worth paying for?" If it isn't something I would buy, then it not worth owning. By raising my standards, I only keep the things that are the most useful to me.

Everyday is a struggle my friend. I by no means have overcome my addiction. But with practice I am downloading less, and creating more. I used to waste hours upon hours searching through my library for the perfect loop, or for the perfect preset. Now, I have a solid understanding of Music Theory and Synthesis. And now I spend hours and hours attemtpting to make them instead. Which I imagine is everyone's goal, right? Don't we all wish we could take the sounds that are permeating in our heads, and get them to play out of our speakers?

BTW, excellent point Someone. One of the biggest problems is that everything is free. Most people have never actually bought anything. So nothing has any real value. How can you master programming a synth, when you have so many you can't even decide which one to use? But if you actually bought one with you own hard earned money, it would mean much more to you and you would want to learn how to use it.

 

What a silly discussion...let the programs download for you...and go make music!!!!!!!
Don't spend time to write bullshit..go make music!!!!!!

Last but not least...sharing and learning is the way to support the scene groups that fight for internet freedom against censorship,fascism and capitalism for a better life and world!!!

 

@ Bluespiral23 illegal raver
no bullshit. Some people have serious problems with it. And they actually cannot simply go and make music. But you are absolutely right from your (more healthy) point of view. Indeed not everybody is as healthy as you are.

@obsessed
You´ve started an interesting and important topic for some people. Thanks for your rare honesty.

Quote: "Now I feel guilty and ashamed of the time that I feel I have wasted."
Sounds not to me like you being healed.

Quote: "I suggest you to contact a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
The first step in recovering from an addiction is that you admit it.
Next step is that you seek help".

You are giving people advices, before you yourself have been healed? But it's absolutely right what you say.
First step: admiration
Second step: acceptance (it seems that you are right there in your process)
Third step: to let go

It's not that easy as the scheme might let you think it is.
One of the most difficult parts of the psychological process is the second step,
because it means in the end to become friends with oneself.....yes: to LOVE oneself.
Therefore it is not enough only to admit your possible or in fact addictive behaviour.
You generally need deep insights into your psychological patterns, to understand yourself (and others),
before you are able to accept deeply who you are and how you are.

Don´t expect too much from ordinary psychotherapy based on talks. It doesn't go deep enough.
Most psychotherapists are headworkers, as their study is. Psychotherapy is able to facilitate the process, no more no less.
Basis is openness and honesty towards yourself.

Best method i learned to know is "Holotropic Breathwork" by Dr. Stanislav Grof, USA. It's based on a extented cartography of the human psyche, which contains not only the
biographical realm, but also the spiritual realms. Addiction is primarily a spiritual crisis.

In my professional life i am a transpersonal psychologist and naturopathic doctor for more than twenty years, so i know a bit what i am talking about.
Computer music is my time-consuming hobby and at the same time a very important part of the holotropic sessions i prepare.

So what about me? Am i myself a download addict? Of course i was! In the first two years i was downloading like insane.
It became boring at one point and stopped by itself. Today i am more playing than loading stuff - and i 've paid for the most important stuff i use.
But i had to find out, what is for me or not. I had to load a lot of shit too, just to learn to know that i've
downloaded a lot of shit, just to learn to know, that i need only a few good tools for my purposes.

P.S.
I personally wouldn´t throw away all the stuff you didn´t use within the last two weeks.
Appreciate what you have. I occasionally discover the one ore other treasure, even after years.

P.P.S.
By the way: i know people who became addictive to psychotherapy........

And now i go and make some music. Enough talking - and no downloading today.

 

I was in the past, but software vise, always had small library of samples, still I'm sucker for make your own perfect stuff.

Now have mostly the stuff I use and few others for demoing, I restricted myself to only use the stuff that I'm going to buy, so my HD is thiner and thiner day by day.

Tutorials goes with my free time (just like typing this reply) and really love to watch them, don't watch television for years, movies also, so that's my substitute, even if it's the stuff I already know, I always find something interesting that can help me.

It's other way around if your obsession of downloading latest stuff turned you into collector/hoarder/"beta" tester, I guess only cure is to take a paper, see how much stuff you have to pay in "real" world and imagine the world without warez or just engage experiment like making whole track just using your native stuff, there is Tom Cosm's challenges that everybody would benefit to try out, some interesting ones just to put you out of the box and engage your imagination.

I know that people who don't rely on synthesis for example have tendency to download shitload of subtractive synths and hunt for presets,or people who have huge libraries of samples and don't even know most of the things they own..."oh,new vengeance, I need better samples" and that stuff....than spend hour searching in dozens 200 samples bass drum folders for perfect one.

Housekeeping and keep it tight, find your go to stuff and delete the rest, keep stuff updated, but do it in your free time, and when you feel that something is missing for you workflow, or buy the damn thing or make it work with something you have, don't wait teams to deliver your inspiration.

1st step is confessing that you have problem, 2nd is to wake up and calculate the money you need to pay otherwise, 3rd is to back up your projects and format the HD, than just put there the stuff you use, stuff you remember using all the time and 4th to make some music with the stuff you have.

 

Perhaps you should take your own advice. It appears that there are several members here who don't consider this topic bullshit. And if you want to be a helpful moderator you shouldn't berate the opinions of others. Especially people who are looking for help. As a raver, I'm sure you've met people with various types of addictions. It is a serious disease that can come in many different forms.

Don't you realize that most of the materials here were never meant to be released to the public?

 

It's interesting that you said you're a psychologist. I'm actually a med school student and one of the reasons for applying to med school for me was interest in the human mind. Usually people say that only the people who're crazy themselves end up being psychiatrists. Don't know if the same applies to psychologists.

However, after studying so much about the human brain, the brain chemistry of addictions and the molecular mechanisms behind them it's not easy to accept that you're an addict of some sort yourself. Diagnosing addictiong is almost the same as trying to draw a line in water, though. When does a highly intensive hobby become an addiction or a compulsion? Oliver Sacks, probably the best known contemporary neurologist, has confessed that he was probably addicted to speed when he was younger.