http://soundcloud.com/thomasfarrell/camels-preview


Looking for some feedback on this, already made a few changes in ableton, took down the level of the bass slightly, increased the kick slightly, had some more break downs with the low chord building to the high chord and increased the perc levels.


Anyone any other tips on what to do? some of the vocals dont seem to fit so i reckon ill get rid of them when i find a better acapella.

 

nice percussion. what u lack is sound fx, atmospheres, ambience, automation of filter or other fx. that clap stands out way too much.

 

Heres a second arrangement ive done just to try and vary it a bit

http://soundcloud.com/thomasfarrell/camels-mix-2


@dan, yeah i was debating about automation on filters etc, there is a string sound running under the track although when i doubled the track i ended up with horrible phase so i dropped it down, might try add some ambience in the morning aswell.

How well did the perc come out actually, i havnt been able to put my monitors in for the last few days so have been mixing by (cheap) headphones

 

The clap and hats are very static and pretty loud. I would lower them in volume and do a little velocity and panning automation.
I don`t actually like the vocal sample... Leave it out or find something more natural sounding if you know what I mean.
More EQing or sidechain compression in the lower range and controlling interfering sounds in the very high end would do some good in my opinion. Some of the hats don't like each other...you can hear this very well in the parts like the one beginning at 6.14! Could be a soundcloud/bad quality issue though...
And instead of underlying atmos and ambience you could go for filter automation on your actual sounds to create a nice flow and more interesting transitions.
Just my opinion...
All in all the idea, arrangement and choice of sounds is fine. Just lacks some detail and fine tuning.