i had to look up that term, lol scary world

 

To me, "dating" just means "hey, we're both actively looking to develop a romantic relationship". Not a job, just signalling intent.

Cause telling other people you're looking to "date" sets clear expectations. If your profile says (or if you tell me) "I want to hang out.. but exclusively" I wouldn't even know what it is you want, other than that you're definitely not looking for a romantic relationship.

Situationship without clear boundaries? Best friends with benefits?! Big waste of time for a lot of people.

It's just semantics, but important ones.

 

You can reflect on yourself as you said, but u don't owe anything to any woman in this world to appear dateable in her eyes.

You owe yourself to be better if you want, but you don't do it to become dateable to a woman who might not even end well with.

Trying to become "dateable" just seems desperate. Like...Come on women!! please like me... for what? for your fake make up? your fake lashes? or your tiktok filters?.....I mean...it depends which women you have in mind as well but we're not in heaven

 

Last edited: Mar 9, 2025 at 4:40 PM

If you're a person who needs to be around people all the time and/or needs to be in a relationship, and that need can't be fulfilled for whatever reason, then you'll suffer loneliness which sucks. Me, otoh, I could do 30 in solitary standing on my head, lol.

At a certain point, all the work and hassle it takes to be dating, starting, and then being in relationships is overwhelming... and for a lazy, ambitionless bastard like me, well, it's a no brainer.... fuck all that shit. I don't want to say how long I've enjoyed blissful alone time. However, having aquired the requisite social skills growing up, I can be the life of the party... except I chose to be sociable when I feel like it, not because of obligations.

Nowadays? As much as any geezer like myself would want to be young again (along with knowing what I know now of course), you couldn't pay me a million bucks to be so in this day and age.... this dystopia or prelude to dystopia we're living in. I honest to god feel like I'm living in an insane asylum on this planet. Always have, but now, a billion times worse.

But like an electron always seeking to settle into its lowest energy state, same thing can happen as a solitary person. I won't go into the odd fateful series of coincidences... how the planets wound up aligning with each other... for me and an old love of mine to have re-connected again... and her having just got divorced as well. That was a bit over two years ago. She's still mad about me. How, I don't know from looking at myself in the mirror... but I'll take it, lol. She though looks fifteen years less her age.

We split up back then because I couldn't make a commitment for the future (marriage). I would say I'd need a million before I could marry (me needing financial security and like a snowballs chance in hell at that happening) But now I think it's about time I make a change with whatever time is left, get out of my comfort zone as they say, and share new experiences with her. (now that we both have pots to piss in)

We are long distance and visit each other, but plan on getting a house together when she retires in a couple years. (I hate florida so I'm good with getting the fuck outta here. hate the process of moving though) And I'll probably finally make that commitment I couldn't so long ago, lol.

 

Last edited: Mar 9, 2025 at 6:16 PM

Alone but never lonely!

 

Maybe I wasn't clear? Or you're arguing semantics. I'm saying, if a person longs to have a partner/romantic relationship, and/or having friends, and/or perhaps a loving family, and they don't have one or more of those in their life, that person generally is going to experience a feeling of loneliness... an emotional response. Perhaps to the point of depression in some cases.

Otoh, there are people like me who love, enjoy, savor, being alone.... solitude... not being around others, not being in a relationship. It makes those like me... happy. I may be alone as defined by a dictionary, but I certainly would never, ever consider myself lonely or having the feeling of loneliness or of being alone

 

Last edited: Mar 9, 2025 at 8:47 PM