Been through this myself when I first shown my music to the world.
What all those people are trying to tell (they actually aren't but hey) is, your ideas don't reach them, there's too much in the way.
It's your responsibility to communicate your ideas properly. Listener might choose to understand you regardless, but they might as well choose not to. In any way, you're responsible for what you're saying, musically or not.
Don't just give up because some assholes were mean. You're basically starting froms cratch, and education yourself as you go. Keep doing and it'll get better.
Look for shortcomings in your music, and then look for ways to improve on your shortcomings. But don't try to meet the "standards" without properly understanding them. Your focus should be on conveying your ideas in understandable way, not on making familliar sound music.
At the same time, example of others might be tremendously helpful. Look up how other artists solve the same tasks and problems you encounter along the way.
It's all hard to navigate, but it gets easier with time. Good luck.

 

Thank you very much for your assessment. I appreciate it.

 

There is still a lot to practice and learn. Take your time. Sometimes a reference track is useful.
First: Bass drum - snare drums create the rhythm. Each instrument should sound big in itself and have its own space. When two instruments have the same frequencies it gets muddy. Take the EQ and run through the frequencies - always try to lower it first.

 

Last edited: Jan 10, 2022

Either a language barrier or a really bad advice.
Each instrument should be readable in a context of a whole track. Aldo they shouldn't clash with each other (unless you know what you're doing and want exactly that to happen).
Every base sound should also be of a good quality and the way you generally want it. Bad input means bad output, no matter the processing. Maybe that's what BEAT16 meant. Because when each instrument sounds big in itself we get pretty much what you got. A cluttered mix with no space.
The again, you can first make every single sound BIG and then dial down and carve away as the context demands. Just remember that context is king.

 

I was just being Truthful, it's Wack as hell.

You seem like you're bored/half asleep, there is no energy, power and emotion in your Spitting.
The cadence, and Flow is off.
You're really Spitting some boring Bars.

The timing is off on the whole joint.
Your kick, snare are Weak...
The loop is not a "hip-hop/Rap" type sound.


You would probably be better off focusing on "singing" pop music or doing some "background" vocals.

 

Last edited: Jan 10, 2022

This isn't my style of music (I don't really listen to Rap anymore), but I thought it was a pretty good, catchy song, FWIW. Also, there's a pretty clear hook in the song, so I'm a little confused by the comment that there's no hook.

The one criticism I'll agree with though is the "yeah, uh huh" stuff at the beginning is terrible to me and personally think you should dump that. lol Other than that, I thought it was a pretty decent song. At the very least, you have the basis for a good song, just with perhaps some work to fix some of the things up that have been suggested. Not everything that passes through here is going to sound like a platinum selling artist. lol But I can definitely see how this would appeal to some people that listen to the genre though, and you should keep at it.

I'll also add that I didn't really critique the mix/mastering.. not my forte.. but I didn't have problems with loudness or clarity on the headphones I listened on. That definitely doesn't mean there isn't anything wrong though.. just saying. (I think the kick gets lost in some parts though)

 

Last edited: Jan 10, 2022

Thanks again for your criticism. Pardon my reaction. You're a tad comical. Thanks.

 

I truly appreciate your criticism. I used two different kicks for the purpose of the art. Some, with the pedal while at others, I used heartbeats because of life, which in a way relates to purpose.

I'm directing and making the video soon to better portray the song.

Thanks again. I appreciate it.

 

I did what you suggested and followed the annotation, and I'm afraid it didn't even blow my nose.

 

I actually can't tell by that last statement if this post is sarcasm, or actual genuine advice. lol

I think you mean well, perhaps trying to motivate the best out of him, but I'm going to disagree here. What I disagree with is what seems to be a suggestion that he shouldn't waste your time unless he's spitting out solid gold right from the start. Every artist has a starting point. I don't know where Jagen is at with his music, but it takes a lot of time to get to the point you are talking about. Sure, we all want our music to be able to do that, and that is the goal.. but that's going to take most artists a long time to reach.. and probably most will never get there. JMO.

There's a fine line between helping someone become a better artist and discouraging them from even putting themselves out there. Maybe this is the tough love approach? lol

 

I'm guessing he added the word "Hook" to the linked lyrics.
Would have been better to have a musical hook rather than being the monotonous two chords throughout.

 

Tough crowd by the way.

 

Your are welcome and my opinion is nothing but my opinion.
If it was your intention to record it like this then everything is fine.

 

I can totally agree with what you say. The hook (the returning parts in his lyrics) is technical there but it is not a hook like in terms of a catchy melody/phrase etc.

Having a hook is not depending on the amount of chords a song has.
Chuck Berry - Cést la vie
The Mavericks - Dance the night away

Are both two songs with only 2 chords and have the traditional hook and I would say are not monotonous.

 

Be realistic: demand the impossible
That was a very popular slogan into the 1968 leftist movement
More info here:
https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2018/5/21/be-realistic-demand-the-impossible/

The question of the OP is "How can I do better?"
Let's start with the hardest question: Do you have something important and unique to communicate? To understand this, it is necessary to put the ego aside, practice a lot of self-analysis and begin to discover the most intimate part of yourself (not easy at all: it is really energy consuming if you are not trained)

meanwhile ...
Listen to a lot of music / read a lot, broaden your knowledge, build a culture. You will realize that perhaps what you are trying to say has already been said by someone else (and much better): treasure the experience of other artists and make it yours. This does not mean "copying", but just assimilating the solutions already found and using them to your advantage.

From here on we can talk about composing and mixing techniques. These are definitely less metaphysical issues and therefore easier to solve

 

Absolute twaddle.

 

That's a slight problem with your (admittedly hackneyed itself) rant. That being it doesn't help. One must learn how to walk before they can run, and we all start our journeys crawling on all fours. learning from scratch takes time. By setting a bar too high at any given moment you only stifle the process. It should be "Better than it was", not "Good". It'll get there eventually.

 

no disrespect buddy, but what you class as a song is different to me. what you class as a hook is different to me. you seem to want to upload some totally random simpleton rubbish and pretend you are something. come back 5 years from now. older. wiser. with a good song. prove me wrong.

 

Thank you very much for your comment; you didn't give me what I asked for: constructive criticism.
But, thank you very much for your criticism. I appreciate it. Thanks.

 

@jagen Don't listen to a word @DJMani's Bloody Tampon Punani has to say. He likes to get passed around the forum like a used vagina. He generally just enjoys coming at people unprovoked, or a whole group of them but when get clapped back he retrieves into his front pussy like spongebobs wet flute that one time at bandcamp.

Like yanks that invade a country over oil prices then have the audacity to call someone a nationalist for fighting terrorism on their own soil then yanks cry wolf by calling them bullies when they themselves started to stir the shit pot first like he does. He's incapable of saying something useful and giving any criticism that's even remotely constructive because he's never improved anything in his life on his own. I think he might be 15.5 years of age at best cause he listens to emo and can't compute how your music isn't trying to slice it's own wrists and black his own eyes. lmao

Constructive criticism: Your lyrics are spot on but they don't match your instrumental. I feel like your instrumental had to match the positive message you were trying to convey. Tbh the beat wasn't mixed very good even though it's not a good match for those lyrics to begin with.

The high hats were way too loud and the mix just was generally thin, the high hat pattern itself was very distracting to me. I think you should go with more a traditional boombap/hip-hop beat for that and less trap to match your lyrics. You need an uplifting instrumental for that one I think, maybe something with gospel elements but that's up to you to see fit. The hook was a bit too different from your chorus and verse, I have to agree with that. The hook was too repetitive as well.

 

Last edited: Jan 12, 2022