What Is Your Purpose I


LYRICS
https://genius.com/Leonard-ibhadiyi-what-is-your-purpose-i-lyrics

LISTEN

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jan 2, 2023

I love your lyrics. You are trying to convey the right thoughts. I'm a Russian dude from Ukraine. Yes, I listen to such performers as KRS-one, A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Public Enemy. I especially adore tow guys from UK: Roots Manuva & Ty(died of covid, rest in peace). But I'm not really deep into rap music and I don't follow the scene. So I can't be a good advisor.
I like the special atmosphere of the beat, the keyboards are reminiscent of IDM (Boards of Canada, 90s Warp records)

 

as always, less is more!
not bad at all, but why is it always so overloaded? seems to be a typical phenomenon here at audioz. the song has too little air, doesn't breathe, is full of unnecessary elements that sound neither musical nor creative.

and this `` yeah, yeah '' should be banned in songs as soon as possible! just annoying

 

Last edited: Jan 10, 2022

Where's your hook?
Just one long scat over a repeating piano loop.

 

Almost all of the sounds have frequency conflicts with the actual rap. You should resolve the frequency masking across all of the mix, make more room for your voice.
At some points the track becomes too chaotic, not in a good way. Backgroud sounds form dissonant intervals with the leading instruments, the rhythm becomes indiscernible.
The overall structure is too samey. Choruses barely differ from verses.
I'd really use another drum one-shots. Another kick, at the very least.
Also it's too loud. Don't try to match commercial loudness without commercial recording and commercial sound design, you'll only make the flaws more pronounced. Notice that I don't criticize the recording quality. I understand that you recorded it the way you could. You should still mix around what you have, not try to be something you aren't (yet).

 

There is a hook, just look at the lyrics that are linked in original post

 

Upfront: this is not my kind of music.
I guess you don't need more than 2 chords to make a song, but still, this sounds monotonous to me.
But I guess that is part of this kind of rap music (or I haven't heard enough?)

What I notice when listening to the vocals is that to me they suffer from the "recording pressure".
don't know how many takes it took and whether it is comped or one take, but to me, it sounds like it
has been performed to safe. This is a message song where a bit more of an attitude would fit.

The minimalistic backing is oke. I agree with the above that some sounds/candy doesn't make any sence.
Not in terms of the lyrics nor musicwise.

But, I still have to put a track out there myself so take it as it seems fit.

 

Thanks a lot. I appreciate it.

 

Thanks. Acknowledged...

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jan 15, 2022

The song has a hook. Please, listen with the lyrics. Thank you.

 

A criticism is only the personal opinion of a listener. What makes criticism "constructive" is your reaction and countermeasures to what you have been told

My opinion
This song is unnecessary. The fact that you own a computer doesn't force you to make music, the fact that you have a mouth doesn't force you to rap. If you really feel the need to compose, let me listen to something that no one has ever played, I want a song that opens my mind and changes my life forever

Be realistic: claim the impossible

 

Thank you very much.

PS. I know I asked for constructive criticism and you gave me one; I used a VU meter, a Loudness meter and penalty meter for the mixing and mastering.

PPS
Thanks

 

With all due respect, the hook is meant to be felt. I don't necessarily agree that every track should have one, but if people don't feel it drawing their attention, then there's effectively none.

Naah. The amount of "opinion" i.e. personal preference depends on the person making a criticism. What makes it constructive is the intention to point out flaws and help the author improve on them versus the desire to mold the work to one's preference or worse yet to self-assert at the expense of others.
The reaction and "countermeasures" is what makes the author themselves constructive.

 

Thank you very much for your assessment. The first verse was 1 take and I took the second verse on a 2 take. Actually, I wanted the natural feeling of breath taking and other anomalies to be on it that's why I left it as is but, thank you very much for your criticism.

 

Thanks.
But, I think you should follow the annotation on genius.com. The meaning to every word said would blow your mind.

Thank you for your criticism

 

Yes, this mix is kind of "flat", and it would be better to re-work some elements. But I disagree with the statement that this song "is full of unnecessary elements that sound neither musical nor creative."
In my opinion, the problem lies in the mixing stage, especially in the processing of individual instruments and the choice of drums(esp. kicks).
And yes, it's important to pay attention to the lyrics, as Jagen said.

 

My constructive critism is Quit trying to Rap
maybe try pop music.


This is Wack as hell!
The Beats are Wack
Your Spit and Flow is Wack.

Seriously, this is garbage.

 

I asked for constructive criticism so, please tell me how I can do better, not kill me to zero.
Thank you very much for your criticism. I appreciate it.

 

Thank you very much for your criticism. I appreciate it. And also thanks for the compliment.

 

Thank you for your criticism. How can I do better?