Alternative indie soft rock track - thanks for all the feedback! Track finished!

Discussion in 'Our Music' started by jennyblack, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. jennyblack

    jennyblack Platinum Record

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    Edited: here is the finished track: there's a comment on the changes I made ahead in this thread. Thanks for all the feedback!



    Hello everyone,
    This song is a collab with a friend of mine (he is on the guitars on this one). I'm on the bass, voice and production (no vocalist here, but we've run out of vocalists in our near circle and decided to do it ourselves in our own possible way). Well, I think the song is pretty beautiful, but don't know if it's lacking something. In other words, I've been asking myself if it could benefit from adding some elements, but I can´t exactly figure out what. Or maybe it's already ok the way it is (keep in mind it´s not a superpop production: we are indie and underground lol). It´s as if I am experiencing a producer's block or just can't clearly see if it's already finished and good the way it is. Well, what's your opinion?

    Any suggestions will be very welcome. Thanks in advance.

    here goes the track:

     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2019
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  3. jennyblack

    jennyblack Platinum Record

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    Anyone? Lol
     
  4. Apex Mors Cordis

    Apex Mors Cordis Kapellmeister

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    Hi Jennyblack,

    I think the song is overall really good. I just can tell, what I would do in mixing, but this is also just my view:

    - the bass is very present sometimes and sometimes not (resonating frequencies)
    - maybe some saturation and/or leveling on the bass
    - the drums could be a little bit louder (just a bit)

    But as said the song is nice and dark and transports this. I don't like the male voice very much (sorry to say that). The female voice (I guess its you) is way better and more pleasing to my ears.

    The most important thing, that I would change is: sometimes the vocals are out of tune (single syllables or words). I would run these through some pitch correction.

    Best Regards,
    Apex Mors Cordis
     
  5. jennyblack

    jennyblack Platinum Record

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    Thank you very much. Agreed! Gonna work on the voice and bass a little more to begin with. I think the bass is more present in the chorus. Gonna check it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2019
  6. electriclash

    electriclash Guest

    Would love to hear more ambience in the verses but its good and you guys should keep working together :wink::wink:

    edit: 2nd listen-
    pushing lil too hard like say @00:58+/pre-chorus/chorus breaks - possible to lighten the crush there? otherwise highly enjoyable
    :bow:

    this came to mind re:dual vox:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2019
  7. Olivier_St

    Olivier_St Ultrasonic

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    For me, it lacks a stronger melody and a real singer....
    The mix seems to me to be unbalanced.
    I think this song is still at the "idea" stage and there is a lot of work to do.
    But I also think that the idea can be interesting... it all depends on what you will do with it if you work on it again.
    Sorry if I sound a little brutal, but I think that when you ask for an opinion, you're not looking for false praise but rather an honest feedback.
     
  8. jennyblack

    jennyblack Platinum Record

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    A real singer will be the hardest to achieve lol (as I said, no luck with vocalists here to take part in this project, unfortunately), but yeah, I agree with all that has been pointed. I am noting down all suggestions and will certainly go back to the mixing stage with some fresh ears in a couple of days. Thanks everyone for all the inputs so far! One thing that seems to be clear: there's still some fixing and mixing work to be done rather than adding extra elements. Once again, thank you everyone for all the feedback!
     
  9. ampworks

    ampworks Kapellmeister

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    i agree with whats been said, i will say the song and production is dark and sexy, its got a cool vibe
     
  10. KungPaoFist

    KungPaoFist Audiosexual

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    No additional singer needed, you guys rock. Love the track! Sounds amazing but just as far as my taste I would swap the drums for some beefy hip-hop vint sampler style in the vein of Massive Attack, could possibly layer in current drums at the end. Please post more:wink:
     
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  11. Lois Lane

    Lois Lane Audiosexual

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    For the moment just listening with my ear to the speaker on my phone and strictly speaking structurally, the intro is too long and all it needs is two bars and then in.
     
  12. jennyblack

    jennyblack Platinum Record

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    Thanks! Gotta keep on rocking in spite of the drawbacks! And yes, Massive Attack is one of our main influences! Glad you enjoyed it!
     
  13. Seedz

    Seedz Rock Star

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    Cool track JB, maybe tuck the vocal in a bit from 2:30.......it kinda pops out too much.

    Its pretty full begining to end so pairing it right back in some sections might give a bit more impact/vibe.

    Good tho, take my comments with a pinch of salt..........I'm in the same boat, I never know when they're done.
     
  14. jennyblack

    jennyblack Platinum Record

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    Hello guys, thanks for all the feedback once again! I have noted down all the advice all of you provided and made some changes based on it (just coudn't get hold of a better vocalist). Here is the final version: have improved the intro and the drums, fine tuned some vocal parts, drums a bit louder, bass more controlled (mainly in the chorus), more ambience in chorus + enhanced drums, and some eq improvements.

    Here it goes:

     
  15. Boosire

    Boosire Producer

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    Nosepick maybe but the guitar is slightly rushing.
     
  16. notremid

    notremid Producer

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    Good track!
     
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