so i know this isn't reddit or anything but since a few people here take abilify i though to post this i used to be a heavy weed smoker since the age of 13 until the age of 25 when i was forced on abilify maintena 400 mg monthly ( for having asperger crazy aint it? ) for almost two years now free from it since two months ago i am facing a real struggle with addiction i cant smoke weed or i will almost not breath for 8 hours straight it's really hard to breathe and whenever i drink alcohol i cant feel anything at all it's like i cant get drunk for whatever reason so im smoking cigs like a f****** chimney and i feel really miserable i dont wanna live like this but i dont wanna die either dying is horrible i am really f***** up i hope someday even if it's ten years from now i can smoke weed again and get drunk like a normal human being, anybody else experienced shortness of breath when smoking weed while on abilify? how did you cope with it? what is the best way to live a life without drugs? i dont know im really desperate i dont know what to do

 

You quit abilfy 2 months ago or you still taking it? You got to quit everything, abilfy, weed, cigarrettes, alcohol coffee. Maybe try carnivore let the brain heal, there's no other way out of addiction anxiety depression loop, and get your freedom back. You're young, do it now, don't wait until your 40's

 

This is sad story man, you were forced? Forced by who?

You are not going to die, not soon. So stop to be hard on yourself, and start to take care of your precious body and mind.
It is not an advise, just everything has the right place and the right moment.
Are you going to brake your life for a soft drug like cigarretes and weed?

 

i quit abilify two months ago im 27 now so i guess im still kinda young if 27 is young to you

 

forced by my dad and doctors they though i had to take it so they put a judge order on me been taking it for 2 years im 2 months off now im not gonna kill myself but i feel really depressed becouse everybody is having fun and smoking weed and i have to s*** it up and live sober i hope someday i can be normal again

 

First of all, I'm sorry that you're struggling. I can only tell you what works for me. So I'm a lifelong drug addict, I started drinking at 12, but like blackout drinking, and getting arrested etc. I definitely messed a lot of stuff up before I realized that I can't drink, but drugs were a part of my life like the only relationship I had with my mom that wasn't fighting was partying together and so somewhere around 15 i started doing other drugs ... cocaine, meth, pills, but when my moms back finally gave out and she couldn't work anymore, she got loaded with opiates and thats probably the beginning of my consequences. Thanks to her injuries and being disabled morphine and oxycodone were always in our house. So this is 2010 when my ex-wife and I split up the second time and I was super depressed and thinking about suicide (my kid was in michigan and i was in Ohio and it was the first time being away from him and she kept playing games with my head) and so I started doing heroin. That was 2010 and I never stopped until 2017.

Thats after a felony, after losing everything and getting divorced, spending almost a decade of my life either in court or on the run. In 2017 I was diagnosed with a shitty illness that could be terminal from my heroin use, and I met my ex fiance. Now I've had probably at least $500,000 worth of rehab and stuff and I knew that I couldn't get clean for her, and I knew she couldn't fix me or save me but no one ever tried and I wanted so bad for it to work, but our 4 year relationship ended during COVID because I relapsed and totaled both my cars, got DUI's all that shit.

After she left, I let our apartment go and I honestly just wanted to die, but instead I went downtown because I had no where else to go and luckily ran into a outreach person who got me into soberliving/treatment that night - but the bullshit didnt stop there. I spent a year getting my life back and buying my life back only to get a house manager fired for not doing his job and his nephew who worked there retaliated and I ended up homeless during a Blizzard. I was sleeping in an emergency shelter at night. See all my family is gone from where I grew up, they passed while I was with my ex, so there was nothing there for me. We ended up in Ohio to help my grandma who was dying of dementia. Anyway emergency shelter at night and these dudes were planning on ganging up on me to steal my sleeping bag (i had a nice mummy bag)

Some stranger online comes out of nowhere and offers me her couch, shes just 2000 miles away on the other side of the country. She fundraised a ticket and I've been here since, on the west coast. I got here in Feb or 2022. So After Tamara left I made a choice to quit using drugs, for myself this time. I have overdosed 30+ times and had to be narcanned, I should have died in both wrecks. I've lost everything, uhm I have a record, and I made my life hell but I'm still alive. I told you all that because I mainly just never gave up. I've hit rock bottom so many times now that its just crazy. I just keep trying. I've relapsed, and I'm on Buprenorphine maintenance still, but I'm alive, theres no needle in my arm, and I've lived at the same address for 2 years now on my own.

I keep myself busy, music helps. I spent a lot of time reflecting, and just trying to figure myself out. I would say that I probably did everything my own way, but like I've spent a lot of time looking at my part in all the shit thats been my life, hobbies help. Music is my attempt to make ammends to people I can't really talk to anymore. Helping others is like necessary for me. I have to do service work because thats what makes me feel good about myself when the voice in my head that gets me high starts talking shit.

I learned alot about addiction, and myself. I've spent 2 years learning to love myself. I've had to take things second by second, minute by minute. Sometimes I barely escape my own thoughts without relapse. Mainly if I do fall, I just get back and try again. I hope it gets better for you!

 

You should talk to your doctor about the way your feeling, they may be able to adjust the abilify or do something to help you feel better quicker. Just be kind to yourself, and know that this is only temporary, and it will pass. All feelings are temporary and they pass, just hang on, and if you need to talk to someone, talk dont keep shit in. Me personally, my DM's are always open if you need someone to talk to. I can give you my telegram name or something if you want a more instant form of communication - I dont mind. Cliche's from rehab are like "secrets keep us sick" shit like that.

 

read it all and your story seems really hard i'm glad you have the resilience to not give up and that things are going well for you right now wish you the best man hopefully you find a new partner and enjoy life

 

you need a therapist dude, not like a psychiatrist who prescribes drugs but someone adept with talking to people with autism and how to navigate life and such. you'll get all sorts of advice on the internet, but the internet also is a space where people can tell each other the earth is flat. go talk to a therapist. they'll be able to help get your back on shit like meds and whatever, you're just wasting more time imo asking people here what to do.

 

You don't need weed to have fun. Two months is a short period, be kind with yourself.
macros mk2 gives you good words. Go out of the screen, talk face to face to people, therapist, priest, friend, whoever. There are tons of things cooler than weed out there. Start a book, go for a walk, have a shower, talk to someone, do some meditation, ...

 

I've smoked a lot too, from 20 to 30 years old. And, as you say, I couldn't think of myself ever without weed. I eventually quit, and I would never start smoking again. Using too much weed is bad, and often brings psychiatric problems I assure you you don't want to live. I understand that when you're into it, living without it seems to be a bore, but it's not. Your brain will learn how to live without it, as it learnt how to live with it.

 

I appreciate you reading it all, there was alot to try and convey but I just wanted you to know I wasn't talking out my ass and that I've really been there unfortunately lol.

Eh maybe I will maybe I wont (find another partner), but life is always full of ups and downs, and I've realized that isnt gonna change just how i react. But I know that depending on drugs to alter the mood is slippery slope. So like both times that I quit using heroin, I had to actually grieve the drug. It was like losing a best friend or your dog dying or something. Like that kind of emotional dependence is what using drugs to alter your mood ends up as.

Just take it slow my friend, don't think about never using anything ever again, just look at the moment in front of you, and try to stay clean for the moment. Moments turn into hours and those turn into weeks. Keep yourself busy and try not to think about it. So probably the worst thing about drug addiction is when your addicted to something, your brain really wants it and it will put you through hell to try and get it. And the more you think about it, the more you feed that loop.

 

This is one of my favorite songs whenever I've fucked up and I just hit my head on the bottom again:

 

Here is another for you, this one probably will speak to you a bit more:

 

both are amazing songs thank you so much for sharing : ) i hope i dont use again it doesnt do me any good

 

i really hope i don't use again since it could kill me and it's not a good idea thank you for sharing your story man maybe you DO find someone to share your life with at least i hope so being single sometimes can be ok but the ideal thing is to find a partner about the grieving part yeah i grieve weed alot it's like a best friend or a dog you explained it perfectly also your brain when you are an addict can make you use even tho it could kill you and that's just horrible i hope i dont use again since i could be dead by now sadly i cant change my name here so people will always assume i still smoke weed which is a bummer

 

you dont need alcohol, weed or any of that stuff to have fun. Trigger warning below - Hard drugs.

I was an all day, every day smoker from 13 - 36 ( As well as many other drugs during those years, (my first LSD, mushrooms, MDMA, Ketamine, Meth, Heroin were all at 14 lol ) At 36 the plant forced me to stop, i started having reactions that put me in the ER. after just smoking a joint lol. Once i quit, it was a rough couple of months, but once the cloud lifted i realized how much the weed, alcohol, drugs, and partying had been controlling my life. I now only have the occasional drink, and some "plant medicine" in a controlled, intention filled setting a couple times a year.

I suggest many things, clean eating, exercise daily, meditation daily, yoga (try yoga nidra for meditation / insight into yourself). Find a higher power. Take brain boosting and cleaning supplements, including NAC, Liposomal Glutathione, Fish Oil, Lions Mane, Alpha GPC, Turmeric, Shilajit, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Zinc. Always talk to a doctor and do your own research before taking a new supplement. Make sure there are no interactions with current medications or pre existing conditions.

If you have good friends, that you can trust, and are reliable, talk to them, and ask them to help you though this, by holding you accountable, or by joining you in parts of your journey to health. If you have bad / fake friends, ditch them, and make new ones. Talk to a therapist, be open and honest with them, as well as with your pyschiatrist / or doctor.

Im sorry you are going through this, but know this is temporary, and things will be better eventually. It takes work, but its worth. 27 is very young. You have an entire life ahead of you. Envision that life, Happy, growing spiritually, mentally, and phsysically, set some goals and work towards that. Small steps can lead to great changes.

 

Music can do miracles!

 

You could make a new account with a new name. Is it that you feel you've created an identity here with that name and made connections or are you holding on to that identity as a connection to your former self? If you feel it's simply your known handle here then keep it but change your avatar to something a little less glorifying.

As far as needing any chemical stimulus in order to be happy, well that's quite frankly bollocks. There is NO better feeling than being straight. Go climb to the top of a mountain, look out over the Earth and fill your lungs with the air, then come back and tell me that ain't better than artificial chemical stimulation.

I'm an old(er) guy now at 55. I started using drugs at 15, that's 40 years ago.. During the first 20 years of that I didn't go a single day without smoking weed, I made sure of that by dealing. It was the first thing I did when I woke up and the last thing before I went to bed. I literally smoked all day and all that time I felt like it barely had any effect on me.
I was hardcore and a cannabis evangelist. But, it actually had a massive effect on me, I just didn't see it at the time.

I stopped for three reasons:

1. I was engineering on a big gig at a major venue in London and just before the gig was about to start I managed to nip into the dressing room to grab some food and one of the band thrust a spliff in my hand. It just so happened that I'd not actually had chance for a smoke yet that day due to the hectic schedule. I banged as much of that spliff as I could before legging it back out to the mixer. Just as the support band came on the weed kicked in big time and my mind literally stopped functioning. I stood there staring at the stage and the mixer and was completely disassociated. Luckily I'd pushed the master up so sound was coming out of the system but aside from that it was like I'd completely forgotten how to operate the desk. Fortunately, I recovered my mind after about ten minutes but from that day forward I knew that I could never risk that happening again as it could very easily have totally gone tits up so I never smoked weed whilst working ever again, something I'd always done without a second thought up to that moment.

2. I was becoming increasingly paranoid that the law was going to catch up with me for the dealing. I'd managed to fly under the radar for twenty years with this (I was busted at 15 for weed but not again because I played the game smart) but I felt like the heat was getting closer due to certain people around me so I stopped.

3. This is in my opinion the most important reason. I knew that I would never be able to give up tobacco if I didn't stop smoking weed and I needed to do that more than anything (my lungs were already fucked by 35). Stopping weed was actually easy, no consequence. It did however take me another 15 years to get off the nicotine, I tried everything to stop tobacco but nothing worked, until vapes came along. I switched to vapes, spent about 5 years gradually reducing the nicotine before getting to zero and then one day it was all over. I'll never touch that poisonous shit again, EVER.

Of course, weed and nicotine haven't been the only chemical assistants in my life and I could tell many tales but I think that's quite enough for now.

Trust me when I say that being straight is by far the best high you can experience, go ask all my dead mates, I'm sure they'll confirm it.

 

1st you have to consider your life as a gift. Its not something you "get through" it something you enjoy and learn from, a journey from the cradle to the grave, with many meaningful stops along the way.

2nd you desire change, that is wonderful and a positive outlook. Next you only want to change so you can spend your time getting fucked up. Thats not so good. You need to contemplate what is so awful that you want to spend all your time impaired.

3. The world is difficult and it is being intentionally made more difficult for reasons too complicated to discuss here. What you need to realize is the world (your world) can be made less stressful, less difficult and actually enjoyable with some rules and structure and desire to change.

4. Circadian rythm is very important, every bit of life on this planet dances to this tune. Your hormonal systems are built to keep you healthy based on this. Vitamin D is the the daylight hormone, you get it from being outside in the sunshine. You have been told the sun will kill you with cancer, while actually vitamin D builds your immune sytem which prevents cancer. Sunshine also produces melatonin inside your mitachondria which is the engine that gives you energy to sustain your life.

Melatonin is the the night time hormone that sets the master clock for your body to sleep and repair itself as well as your mind and brain.

If you let these systems get out of whack, by living too far north (not enough daylight in winter to produce vitamin d) or by spending all day taking in blue light from your computer screen and then half the night doing the same, it will fuck up your body and guess where your mind is? Its in your body,inside your skull, their is a brain that holds your mind while your are in this world.

so you need to make sure you have balance in your life, and spend time outside in green spaces - green spaces reflect infra red light which is what induces melatonin production in mitachondria. - also supplement with vitamin D, and since your imbalances put you at a tendency to seek to overdo hence the need to get fucked up all the time, resist the temptation to overdo the vitamin D. 10k IU is a sufficient dose daily, so don't take 10 times that much because you think it might be more better.

make sure you sleep in a totally black room, put tape over all the led's on your chargers and other electronic shit. get blackout curtains if you have street lights. start keeping a schedule, go to bed at the same time, and don't sit in bed reading your phone or computer. Get a book or a music magazine and read it by a dim lamp and try to use a red led instead of a white lamp (led) cause its got a lot blue light in that white bulb. Blue light destroys melatonin making sleep more difficult, don't use it after 6 pm.

This is a start, there is a whole lot more, but i don't feel like writing a novel and you'll just TLDR anyhow....