Started with this... After comments, made these amends... Received some more suggestions and went with these... That's about as good as I can get it to. Last edited: May 25, 2022
The melody looks good. In the loudest parts seems to be some track frequency overlapping as you said. I don't know much let alone this genre, hope others can give you concrete advice It's true, seems like it's kinda pissed
- (intro) pad (mainly) right. Why? - 0:24 nice FX for melody - 0:34 some suggestions: don't start with melody and vocals use LP filter with fade in don't start with either of them and introduce them one after the other - 2:36 nice FX on piano - 2:39 maybe layer the melody with some kind of softer super saw (melody and piano are both on the percussive/attacky side)?
It started out 5 minutes long with the first minute without either the vocals or melody but seemed to be too repetitive hence goes straight in with both. The melody does go on for too long in the first instance. Feel a bit limited with the cheesy vocals too. Had to edit out lots of "choo choos" and "all aboard" I tried multiple different basses and still not convinced those are the best choices. Beats are not my strong point. I know the clap is week and not enough varied percussion. I don't have the patience to finish tracks off properly.
I dont have anything useful to add to this thread but I just wanted to note that when the song started I thought it was the impostor fx from Among Us.
for levity's sake i have to link to this bill hader clip on conan, in the first 40 seconds he impersonates Lorne Michaels and him saying "why" is how i imagine no avenger saying why? to the pad being panned right haha. im gonna drop some annoying "wisdom"- like the kind in a 80's movie where a guru is shitty and unhelpful but in the end it pays off. maybe. prob not. sorry. if YOU don't have the patience to finish tracks off properly then why should someone else have the patience to listen to it? i realize that's pretty shitty and flippant advice, but there is a well documented phenomenon that we all know, which is when you play your track in front of someone and it's not ready -all of a sudden every flaw that exists, every bit of little technical i's that needed dotting and t's that needing crossing just jump out. it's another form of that to say,"ahh its too much", you know there are steps you need to take still- you mentioned them, but it's like a mental block i think at a certain point because music just has infinite choices and it becomes overwhelming to "finish" a song. i think it's challenging on multiple fronts, from just all the technical knowledge you need to be decent at in order for everything to sound ok to finalizing creative choices. because you mentioned not having patience, my advice that is actionable is to have a collection of beats you're working on at any given time but put a hard cap on the max. that way when your adhd kicks in you can jump around and keep working on different parts of songs, BUT if you stay true to the cap you won't end up with 1000 half beats. export your beats and listen to them as much as you can and keep notes on your phone. half the time i get a good idea on what a track could use it's while i'm away from my computer listening to it. i look insane (well... too late i guess) but i'll even hum melody lines/lyrics as on my android i can use recorder and the audio player at the same time. that way when i sit down i can just bang out a bunch of "boring" shit that i've noticed here and there. also you mentioned some of the areas you don't feel skilled in- i'd look into some youtube channels you like that may not have "follow along exactly" tutorials, but more "philosophical" tutorials so you can listen to them away from your computer. like justin from sonic scoop or the house of kush guy gregory jump to mind or some of the produce like a pro....people who talk more about general shit i guess, i'm explaining it poorly. you don't need to stare at the screen to get something out of it. what i'm getting at is you might have less time at the computer nowadays for music but if you have anytime at all where you can use earbuds you can be making some progress if you really want to. i'm not an expert at polishing off tracks by any means, but i will say it's totally worth it to really make something that's polished if you want to show it to anyone ever. it definitely pays off in dividends when you're playing a track in front of someone and you can't really think of anything to hate about it. it's a weird feeling, most of the time i do not feel it.i have notes on my phone, a spread sheet with different beats that i'm working on (that i do not update nearly enough, but it is useful for combining half beats when you can see oh, hey this is the same key) and i have an ever evolving check list for finishing a song, just so there is a chance i don't hate it. anyway, that's probably all super snobby and useless, but there is something just overwhelming about DAW electronic music production i think sometimes, maybe just music in general nowadays. people always talk in reverence of old analog gear, not erroneously, but i am of the opinion most of that has to do with work flow not "analog sound." the old stuff had a clear path most of the time on how you went about making shit- DAW's and plugins make for never ending pathes. another reason people i think like analog is that most of the time you were physically more into it- standing to find record loops, banging on pads as you nodded your head. computer music allows you to just sit there like the world of warcraft guy in southpark and make a song- and while it's obviously not impossible nothing says dance music like being slumped in your chair not moving as you click stuff. i only bring these up because i feel these affect people yet they can be overcome with just a perspective change, same as working towards finishing a track. i realized i wrote this out assuming you were on a daw lol maybe not. i should erase this, oh well
Not having the patience to finish the track off was probably not the right phrase. Not having sufficient expertise to make it sound professional is more apt. The idea of posting is for suggestions to improve. I'm currently re-visiting the track based on No Avengers comments. Whilst it would be pointless spending lots of time polishing a turd, it would equally be pointless spending lots of time repeating the same mistakes just swapping out the same ideas with different sounds.
oh! in that case there is some useful advice in my rambles for improving i'd argue, like listening to your songs on earbuds- i swear it's impossible to not have at least one idea to improve a song while away from your main creative area. reference songs! both using software to A/B test your song to a professional one but also just finding one of your favorite songs and recreating it top to bottom- those will be extremely useful for you i bet.
in my opinion: Good: 1-mix 2-chords baseline and melody work together good enough harmonically 3- basic structure is ok as a simple demo (depending on what stage of experience you are at) Problematic: 1-Melody Your melody (specially with that vocal) is a bit odd, not bad but odd, either by chance or by choice. next time maybe try to hum or sing along while making it, that will help a lot 2- Acapella It adds nothing but confuse. The vocals rhythm and notes dont follow the melody. "the funky train.." part works over the breaks but not over the parts with drums there it becomes a train-wreck So skip the acapella over the drum parts or delete it and enjoy the melody that works by itself. And keep at it, get into the next one and take what you have learned from this one. Cheers Last edited: May 22, 2022
OK... so removed the offending acapella from the drum bits and replaced with alternate (that had "train" theme). Removed the repetitive nature of the main melody. And a few other tweaks Improvement or not? (see both versions in original post).
What can I say? Everyone's sensitive now. Whatever I say, will make them unhappy. So I'm not saying anything. I hope you're successful.
No sensitivity here. Are you sensitive because no one responded? I wasn't sure whether your previous comment was positive or negative. Regressive would have been a negative. Retrogressive may be a positive if you like retro (which I do obviously)
nice, that got a lot better! SIT8s would you mind telling what is your goal with this track? are you practicing and just want to share your progress or are you trying to make a release product? that helps people give feedback at a right level the better the demo the more intrinsic/detailed critique it should get. since its probably someone with experience the critique gets more demanding. the more basic/beginner the song is, the lighter critique it should get. because you are trying to encourage someone to get better not disillusion. detailed critique will just fly above her/his head
both versions are good. I like the first one better (Funky Train - Mix 1) The other one reminds me of the 90s I think is a good idea, like said " No Averanger" don't start with melody and vocals use LP filter with fade in don't start with either of them and introduce them one after the other especially not to start with the voice and the melody.
It's a hobby only. The goal each time is simply to create something that sounds less embarrassingly amateur than the previous outing. I can usually detect the weakest elements of the tracks I create, but am sometimes lacking the execution to improve them.
