1 month premium membership

Discussion in 'UL.to Coupons' started by radu, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. radu

    radu Noisemaker

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    I have a 1mo ul.to coupon giveaway.

    Reply with a witty simple two-lines joke or a funny fact you heard (no memes, no copy-paste from the www)

    I will pick the best one in 48h from now.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2015
  2.  
  3. ArticStorm

    ArticStorm Moderator

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    let me try:

    Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."

    one extra!
    Q: Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?
    A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.
     
  4. Lepow

    Lepow Kapellmeister

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    Two bats hanging inna tree, they go like:
    - who drinks moar blood, inna great distance in less time wins.

    The first one go and come back with little blood on side of his mouth.
    - Wow! Where did you go?
    - You seen that house over there?? One sheep drained! 20 secs!

    Second one gone and less than a second! Comes with face full of blood.
    - Wooooooow!! Where did you go?
    - You seen that wall????????
     
  5. SK77

    SK77 Noisemaker

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    There's a mammy balloon, a daddy balloon and a baby ballon.

    One day the daddy balloon says to the baby balloon, "Look son, you're a big lad now, too big to be sleeping with me and your mam - we've got you your own room now". So the baby ballon moves into his own room.

    A week later there's a big storm and the thunder and lightning starts. The baby balloon gets scared and decides to sneak into bed with his mam & dad but he finds he's grown too big and can't get in. "I know" says the baby balloon "I'll let some air out of my dad then I'll be able to fit into bed". He does this but still can't fit in so he proceeds to let some air out of his mam as well but this still doesn't do the trick. Finally he decides he'll let some air out of himself and snuggles into bed with his mam and dad.

    The next morning the daddy balloon wakes to find his son in bed with them and asks why. The baby balloon replies "There was a big storm dad, and I got scared." His dad says to him, "I'm very disappointed in you son - you've let me down, you've let your mam down and, more importantly, you've let yourself down".
     
  6. zib

    zib Member

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    Why dogs lick their * ?

    Because they can !
     
  7. DanielFaraday

    DanielFaraday Platinum Record

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    Ableton add vst3 support, wrapper for multi-timbral instruments, slip edit for audio samples and reduce suit's price for 70%.

    F#ck, I overslept again.
     
  8. Will SouthCape

    Will SouthCape Member

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    9/10 report gang rape as a pleasant experience.

    Rape jokes. Class.
     
  9. jaymo99

    jaymo99 Platinum Record

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    Whats the only bad thing about having sex with a 14 year old?

    watching her break down on the witness stand. :P


    yes i know some of you groaned at this but i know some of you laughed too
     
  10. jaymo99

    jaymo99 Platinum Record

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    What do you do if an elephant comes in your window?

    swim
     
  11. Vince Bramich

    Vince Bramich Ultrasonic

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    Why did the monkey put a burger on his head?
    Cos he thought he was a g-rilla
     
  12. jefft

    jefft Kapellmeister

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    Conversation overheard between two gay cowboys, "Yup, Yep"
     
  13. herasdalizzard

    herasdalizzard Noisemaker

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    Ancho de espalda, estrecho de culo, maricón seguro!

    Which translates a something like "Wide back, tight butt, sure fag"

    I've just realized I know no jokes at all in english :/
     
  14. radu

    radu Noisemaker

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    Good job guys, most of them are quite funny. I choose ArticStorm for the atom story.
     
  15. Vince Bramich

    Vince Bramich Ultrasonic

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    Good choice. made me giggle. :)
    arctic, if you're not in need of the coupon, I really could use it.
    disregard if you do though :)
     
  16. Dazeon

    Dazeon Ultrasonic

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    I have over 113 uploaded links to download.
    All of them are in the 700.00 MB file size.

    It's going to take me weeks to collect them all one by one.
    Because each file takes over 3 hours to download.
     
  17. Vince Bramich

    Vince Bramich Ultrasonic

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    I'm hearing ya. I have have to replace my entire library due to catastrophic system failure (and lack of a bcak up).
     
  18. radu

    radu Noisemaker

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    debrid-link.fr (extremely cheap solution)
     
  19. ArticStorm

    ArticStorm Moderator

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    do you really need all of that?

    i recently moved to a new place, where i have to pay for power bill on my own(my desktop is a really power horse, with everything on, i am at 1400W per hour, way to much), so i moved to my ultrabook, it has less storage and some plugin it cant handle. so i decided to go for a minimum setup:

    synths only, no omnisphere, kontakt libs on my own, i went through all the plugins and libraries and asked, do i really need?
    i came to conclusion i dont need any other kontakt library, because it never fits my needs(its wasting storage).
    the less you have to better you can go deep into it.
    you dont waste time in organizing and downloading stuff you wont need until the next apocalypse.

    there are always extra way to get something from torrents or other places. or sometimes just delete your download list. i had one with ableton stuff and lots of IR i deleted.

    well i already redeemed the coupon as i saw this here.
     
  20. Dazeon

    Dazeon Ultrasonic

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    I now have to wait 3 hours before i can download another (uploaded) .net download link.
     
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