I have a new 1 month coupon that I want to giveaway.

No idea who deserves it better so, as usual reply in with the best joke you know and you may win this.

I'll get back in 48h.

Be funny,
Radu

 

thanx for the coupom bro;)

 

coupoN

 

i would get lucky , too;)

 

No Joke, I'm just laughing at all the Newbies

 

Alot of people are always asking me my warm up techniques for guitar. And they want to know how I got so good on the guitar. First off, I fucked your mom. Secondly, just throw your guitar away cuz you'll never be as good as me, or as fast as me. Lastly, I don't have to warm up cuz I am that good! You ever see a lion warm up before it eats a gazelle? No!


So obviously I deserve the coupon cuz of my awesomeness, and don't worry Radu, I wasn't talking about your mom, but their moms.

 

a classic but still good one;)

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

 

A woman speeds by a motorcycle cop holding a radar gun. He pulls her over and asks, “What’s the rush?” She replies, “I’m on my way to assist in an emergency procedure at the hospital.” The cop asks what she does in the ER. “I’m an asshole stretcher,” she says. The cop scratches his head. She explains, “You see, I prep the patient by taking one finger at a time to slowly stretch the asshole till my hands have made the patient’s asshole a full six feet open. ”Looking at the woman in shock, he inquires, “What do you do with a six-foot asshole?” The lady says, “Usually we give it a badge and a radar gun.”

 

A little girl was asking her teacher.
Girl: “Can my mom get pregnant?”
Teacher: “How old is your mom?”
Girl: “She’s 40!”
Teacher: Yes, she can.”
Girl: “Can my sister get pregnant?”
Teacher: “How old is your sister?”
Girl: “She’s 18.”
Teacher: “Yes, she can.”
Girl: “Can I get pregnant?
Teacher: “How old are you?”
Girl: “I’m 12.”
Teacher: “No you cannot get pregnant.”
A lil boy sitting behind the lil girl said, “I told
you
we have nothing to worry about.”

 

3 mice sitting in a bar....

they are dicussing who is the toughest of the 3

1st mouse say " you guys have no chance at this.. bartender had me that bottle of rat poison "

bartender put on a toxic suit and had the bottle to the first mouse, the 1st mouse slams the entire bottle , set it on the bar and says "top that!!!!"


"2nd mouse says " thats nothing ...watch this"

2nd mouse walk overs to a mouse trap with a huge chunk a cheese in it just outside the back of the bar. he takes the cheese
the trap comes down on him. he laughs, pushes the trap open and walks away dusting himself off and says "top that!"


there is a pause, the 3rd mouse sits there for a second or two... rubs his chin then gets up and starts to walk out the bar.

the other 2 mice start asking "hey where are you going? you said u were the toughest mouse here. and now you are running a way.. what are you a affraid of scardimouse? not so tough now are u?

the 3rd mouse stops in the door way turns around and smiles and say....

Im going home to fuck the cat !!!!!

*yes*

 

Teacher Fell Asleep In
Class And A
Little Naughty Boy
Walked Up To
Him,
Little Boy : “Teacher Are
You
Sleeping In Class?”
Teacher : “No I Am Not
Sleeping In
Class.”
Little Boy : “What Were
You Doing
Sir ?”
Teacher : ” I Was
Talking To God.”
The Next Day The
Naughty Boy
FellAsleep In Class And
The Same
Teacher Walks Up To
Him
Teacher : “Young Man,
You Are
Sleeping In My Class.”
Little Boy : “No Not Me
Sir, I Am
Not Sleeping.”
Angry Teacher: “What
Were You
Doing.??”
Little Boy : “I Was
Talking To God.”
Angry Teacher: “What
Did He
Say??”
Little Boy : “God Said He
Never
Spoke To You
Yesterday”

 

3 guys bunked exam
coz they didn't read.
Came up with a plan.
Got themselves very
dirty using grease then
went to see the Dean.
Sir we are sorry we
couldn't make it for the
exam. We attended a
wedding on our way
back the car broke
down thus we're so
dirty.
The Dean understood
and gave them 3days to
prepare.
After 3 days they went
to the Dean, they were
very ready for the exam
coz this time they
studied real hard.
The Dean put them in 3
separate classes.
There were only 4
questions on the exam
paper.
1 Who was getting
married ? (25mrks).
2 Where was the
reception ? (25mrks).
3 What colour was the
groom's suit ? (25mrks).
4 What type of car
broke down ? (25mrks).
Good luck!!! Your
answers shuld be the
same....else.......

 

I would say the joke here is the poster above's ability to copy and paste

 

womens rights

 

Wizard of Oz styled midget orgy

 

JOKE: Paris Hilton is a DJ

 

Radu
This is not the proper section for Uploaded.net coupons so I am moving this thread. No biggie just please post threads related to coupons in Internet for musician > ul.to coupons. Thank you and thanks for sharing your coupon with the community.
I am actually working on a new initiative that will reward contributors with Uploaded.net coupons so in the future you will check the Contributors In Need thread and find a list of all contributors in need of a coupon. Then it will be up to you whether you would like to have a contest, give it away to anyone or help the site by giving a reward to our loyal members and staff. I think it's a good idea and long overdue.

tater_one
Classy as always. Those that are sure about something come across as confident, those that aren't come across as arrogant. Guess which category you fall into?

Cez
One entry, you're no more important than anyone else. *no*

ICP
Not cool. I'm awfully tempted to give you a warning for that and from the looks of it you really don't need anymore. Besides the fact that that is a ridiculously ignorant attitude you do know that we have some women on the forums right? You do have a mother and maybe even a sister right? Show some respect

Good one. I've used that joke myself on several occasions. You have a really good chance of winning.

whitePhazer
I like yours too. Very true.

 

A little boy asks God:
"Dear Lord, is it true that we go to heaven, when we die?"

God: "No, my son. That is a lie invented by humans, to create false hope, and to manipulate each other."

Boy: "But where do we go then, when we die?"

God: "Hell."



(I didn't get the Paris Hilton joke... could somebody explain, please? )

 

Paris Hilton as a DJ has to be the funniest thing that one can imagine and a true testament to the pathetic state of music today. What's not to get?

 

Ah, does that mean she indeed does DJing?

Well that just would clearly show (there were same wars in some threads here about this topic), that for being a DJ you don't need any talent or knowledge, as opposed to being a musician.

Mind you... that doesn't mean she would be a good DJ

@ Catalyst

You don't need to quote whole postings if they are right above your reply *yes*