Have a child.

 

or a pet no worries

 

Honest question: Do you know anyone where a child or a pet 'fixed' something? I'm not trying to be an asshole, I would really love to know if that is a thing. Because I know a lot of people where it got worse the moment they had to drag one more being through life than just themselfes, which is hard enough.
But it seems to be a thing. A relationship I had, it was the worst we both had, nothing worked with us two so she one day said that we should have a child because that would fix everything.
And I was like "how can the most demanding adventure of human existance fix our broken relationship, when having a child sometimes tears apart working ones??!".

 

Having a dog forced on me fixed my life.

I realised that what I was missing to give me direction was having someone to care for.

I'm not saying this is a good idea; wasn't my choice in the first place. If you're considering getting a pet or having a child, first create stability in your life and then reevaluate if that's still what you want.

In my case, the people/family around me understood me better than I did myself and saw what I needed when I didn't/couldn't.

 

Feelings are not a choice. You do not choose how you feel. You do however choose how you feel about those feelings. You do have a choice in how you react to those feelings.

It is a practice, feeling okay with feeling not-okay.

If you break a limb, what do you do? You allow it to heal, you allow it to be as it is, without trying to rush it without trying to change it. The same applies to how we feel.

Again, we do not control what comes up, but we do control how we interact with it.

Do we allow it time and space to pass through us? Or do we resist, fight, and argue with it? "I can't believe I feel this way", "I shouldn't be feeling this way". Put more faith in your body, it is intelligent and understands what it needs to do to process emotion.

The hard part is getting out of its way. Our minds and bodies are designed to return to balance, to homeostasis. Allow things to find their balance in their own time.

Remember, you do not get choose how or what you feel. But you do get to choose how you feel about those feelings.

 

i can't go into too much detail here, but i had a cat that for certain reason couldn't be with me for 20 months she was staying at a cattery that cost me 10 euros a day that animal gave me the strength not to give up i went to visit her every single day for those 20 months partly out of guilt because she’s very attached to me and wary of strangers i just couldn't bring myself to part with her she literally pulled me out of the gutter it cost me a fair bit but everything worked out in the end thanks to the bond i share with her!
I don't have children so i can't speak to that aspect

that cat saved me honestly!

 

Cat´s also saved my wife and me. I don´t want to go into personal stuff...It´s crazy how having a pet that relies on you, relies on your ability to make responsible decisions can turn a life around, but it absolutely can.

What also really helps is having a structured life, get enough sleep, work out (Mens sana in corpore sano is 100% spot on), make sure you get enough sunlight etc. all that stuff our parents or teachers have been saying, they were right. Being consistent is key, even little things can make a difference over many years. Sometimes I feel like the greatest idiot that it took me so long to understand that.

 

Last edited: Jul 7, 2026 at 10:12 PM