I'm very plant oriented too but the one you posted a pic of has bad side effects on me if I go beyond microdosing once in a blue moon. Like 12 to 18 hours of hardcore depression for 2 hours of mild stimulation and well-being (very far below the stoned / headache / vomiting dosage). A relatively unknown property is that it is a good hemorrhoid remedy for some people.

 

Please be very careful coming off the Gabapentin. I tore a nerve in my arm while living in Spain and no traditional painkiller could stop the constant burning pain and hyper sensitivity in my hand. Because I was only able to sleep in 15 min bursts (fall asleep, hand touches something, awake in agony again), I was getting maybe 2 hours sleep a night, so a doc tried a high dose of gabapentin - WITHOUT warning it has to be tapered off very gradually.

I took it for 3 weeks, it didn't help, i felt nothing different so i just stopped it.

A day later i had to call for an ambulance to stop constant vomiting and a high fever. I felt like was dying, and my hand still fucking hurting 24 hours a day.

Ambulance driver said sharp withdrawal from gabapentin is much worse than heroin, it can be very dangerous, and i was lucky it was only a few weeks id been on it.

So yeah, gently taper it.

 

Last edited: Jul 29, 2025

The good thing is that you're capable of self reflection, that is almost half way to normalize your disorder (Be proud about it).

 

I just wish you the best @Kate Middleton ...

 

study the drug. almost everything about it can be found on the web.

 

Since 2019 been battling Gastroparesis about 50% non motility.
(Remind you I was running and was physically fit for many years)

My life is based around my stomach emptying time now, from work, to physical fitness, what hour I can eat, when I go to a park, go out to eat a restaurant, ride a bike etc. It kills your social life and that is even more worse than the constant pain and having to keep eating small meals throughout the way to keep the stomach moving food down to get nutrients into your body.

For 2-3 years it was brutal, sleeping only a few hours per day, pepto became friends with me for a while. Several medications were used and nothing worked, until I gave up on doctors and finally seen a dietician instead that gave me a better guide and diet approach to this problem.

But now I train every day with moderation since there can't be any food or liquids in the stomach prior to running ( not so much of an issue if I go ride a bike for example). Got the eating times down and work hours so it's not a "why me" thing anymore, just remember what ever you are going through someone out on this planet is going through hell right now.

Hope you find someway to get yourself up and get better, perhaps a change in medication.

 

I think at issue is you've misinterpreted what you read or read from a source that did not understand the data either. I'm not going to put lots of numbers down because I don't feel like going through journals, but broadly speaking.... yes, you can find reliable and replicatable studies that involve high incidence. No, that does not mean their state of wellness is psychosomatic in the manner your telling of it suggests.

First Lets separate out those with Psychosomatic Disorder (a very small single digit percentile number) for the purposes of clarity. That leaves the 'normies,' to be crass. Depending on presentation, 20-80% of those people will likely show what meets the criteria for a psychosomatic illness. That 100% does not mean those people are not ill. In the overwhelming majority (again, the normies not those with psychosomatic disorder), their psychosomatic illness is real and exists as a comorbidity with a very real but very diagnosed illness. The two biggiess of the psychosomatic illness presenting along a more specified illness are 1- lack of diagnostic tools to specifically clarify this 'other' that has not classically been defined or included as part of the patients other illnesses (that again, are very much defined and not psychosomatic) or 2- a presentation of illness that is directly linked to a comorbid diagnosis but does not itself classify into a unique or significant enough disease to warrant a diagnosis or a comorbid presentation of illness so vague and ill expressed by the patient it is often simply 'lumped in' as a relation to an existing diagnosis they have.

Think of any number of stories of women who went to their doctors complaining about a headache, were told 'its in your head' as the sum treatment and two months later found they have a brain tumor or blood cancer. That's taking it to the extreme, but I think it demonstrates the point.

Experiencing diarrhea when you haven't eaten all day or a muscle ache you can't source doesn't mean the 12 inch railway spike sticking out of your skull doesn't exist. All people with psychosomatic disorder will present with psychosomatic illnesses. Very few people with psychosomatic illnesses have or will have psychosomatic disorder. A psychosomatic illness is not something that does not exist or exists only as manifestation. It most commonly exists as an undefined state.

"The increase in depression, addiction, and personality disorders is particularly strong – as several studies show. Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, addiction, eating disorders, and conduct disorders are increasing among children and adolescents. The prevalence of mental illnesses is higher than it was 50 years ago. The question now is whether this increase is due to more people being affected by these illnesses or whether people have become more sensitive and are seeking medical help more frequently."

50 years ago we were still drilling holes into peoples heads, electrocuting them as therapy, and institutionalizing the cognitively impaired. So.. yea, the numbers are going to go up a bit when you have to find a new column to check.


Now, this being the 'net n all I could be full of shit... but even causally googling any of this with a critical eye will reveal all of this just in abstracts.

 

You also need to have deep counselling..all the best to you get well soon ..

Peace be with you always

 

Sir,
I understand the pain and frustration you're in, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a feeling like you've lost yourself, like your thoughts and actions aren't truly yours, which is terrifying. You're not alone in this. Many people struggle with the effects of medications, especially when they alter your mind or personality in ways that feel out of your control.
I second your right to Question This....
The idea of being forced to choose between "take this or end up hospitalized" can feel like an illusion of free will. It’s understandable to resent that. Medications can be life-saving for some, but they also come with risks, side effects, and sometimes a sense of losing your identity.

I won't give you any expert suggestions but would like you to consider possible Steps to Take......

1. Track Your Symptoms– Write down how the meds make you feel (emotionally, mentally, physically). This can help you and your doctor see patterns.
2. Seek a Second Opinion– If your doctor isn’t listening, another psychiatrist might have a different perspective. Some are more open to medication adjustments or alternatives.
3. Discuss Tapering (Safely) – If you want to reduce or stop, do it under medical supervision. Sudden withdrawal can be dangerous with some meds.
4. Explore Non-Medication Support as a supportive option – Therapy (like CBT, DBT, or trauma therapy), lifestyle changes (sleep, diet, exercise), and peer support groups might help.
5. Advocate for Yourself – If you feel dismissed, consider what are your options? "A good doctor should work with you, not just dictate treatment.

Remember sir, You’re Not Alone. Many people feel trapped by meds, some find them helpful, others feel worse . Is This Really Free Will?
It’s a hard question. Being told "take this or face consequences" does feel coercive. But sometimes, the alternative (like psychosis or severe episodes) can also take away your freedom. The goal should be finding a balance where you feel in control of your life.

 

Here in Germany, there is something called a holistic doctor. If you have the opportunity and can afford it, then go for it. They treat the cause rather than just the symptoms, unlike normal doctors.

 

NATURE = (Sun/Light, Air, Water & Earth) is the only REAL doctor you should take advice from. To the degree OUR distance away from LIFE, is to the degree WE suffer in all the various ways, especially psychologically. Medication is designed to force you to conform to an unnatural system that is literally killing you (Matrix).

 

I'd rather feel stupid than having intrusive thoughts 24/7. Easily the best medication out there. It just works, and it works fast.

I'm dealing with my yearly anxiety marathon, so it really helps to just let me sleep like a normal person. Otherwise, anxiety wakes me up in full blown panic attack and it's worse than having one while you're awake.

For the OP, I guess you just wanted to vent a bit, but my advice is that if the medication isn't working (and you've been taking it for long enough), going back to the doctor is the way to go. Just remember you need to take it for a reason. I started neglecting mine, and now I have to deal with constant irrational fear of getting cancer and dying. I got my meds again and it's starting to work, the thoughts have gone away for most of the day.

 

You're not alone. Here is a new song of my friends' coming out next week, you may be able to relate to it:
https://www.orrintonbeats.com/beat/buried-alive-2025-song--23058728

 

Ever notice that LDS/Mormons are upbeat and living fulfilling lives? I have.

 

they are working on banning it. After these idiots started synthesizing it and making pure extracts, essentially turning it into oxys.

 

That's Catherine, Princess of Wales, future queen consort, show some respect you commoner.

 

definitely. I do deep research on anything i put into my body. I also have an excellent doctor. thanks for the warning!

Same here in the states. Its called functional medicine doctor. Im lucky that my gf's mom is one. Shes incredible. Her waitlist is nearly a year long, and i am blessed enough to just call her whenever i need. They can be expensive, but its so worth it. Like you said they actually try and find out what's going on, not just write you off or gaslight you.

Absolutely. whatever works!

 

Where do you live? The war on drugs was lost long ago. Cocaine is a huge business. The grower gets $50, and the big dealer ends up with $50,000. Why are you calling them idiots? That's the business idea. Besides, the people down there are poor, and anyone who doesn't play along just gets a bullet in the head!

 

@PulseWave
This is Mitragyna speciosa, aka 'Kratom', not Erythroxylum coca. Indonesian and Malaysian growers of these huge trees dont get shot in the head. It was illegal in Thailand from where it originates (legal again now, I think), but was still used freely in the area where it naturally grows.