My last project with his visualizer. Comments, impressions welcome.

 

what stops me from getting into this song is the use of momentum, it doesnt create enough energy rhythmically and when it does, it doesnt carry it well. mainly everything around the chorus, the rhythm is very flat and doesnt create enough energy, so when it moves into the bridge; its like there wasnt very much for it to carry. when it gets to the chorus, the rhythm is stronger; but its short and then it drops back into this flatness - which doesnt serve it, when it does come back for longer, youre adding things that dont enforce that rhythm further; so it not as strong as prior. groove is a such a delicate thing, only whats essential is whats needed; thats actually the whole pop songwriting ethos, but especially in dance pop

i do like the mix and quality of the tones, also the singers voice; its just in context of the whole, her vocals arent enforcing the rhythm, on top of the bassline thats in the verse. if you listen to like old school funk records or disco, even 80s synthfunk; the vocalists their timing, delivery and the melody all enforce the rhythm. it needs to be solid to be physical, then momentum is effective; but it needs that energy first, the first chorus actually does it decently; but that section is small in the context of the whole

like here’s an example of newer dance pop song, that gets across what im saying very well to help give context

the rhythm of her vocals enforces the groove, everything in the verse is a solid rhythmic core that moves as one, even when theres no kick, her vocals are essential in creating the energy, which then creates momentum thats easily carried. whereas the female vocals in your song during the verses, has little to no rhythm in context of the bass or drums. its like a basketball team, where everyone is kind of doing their own thing, which that sort of polyrhythm isnt bad in certain genres. in dance music though it needs to be one, its what makes it physical


i do think youre close though and can make something that can pop. i also like the production, its just how everything is working artistically thats hurting it the most. its about taking the same concepts from the dance floor and compressing it into something sticky in this style of songwriting, it seems easy but its not - keep it up dude

 

Last edited: May 13, 2024

Gracias... I love this song Von Dutch since it's been released by the way... I also have connections in NL but for other reasosns
So:
what you're talking about is the cohesion of the songwriting and arrangement in parallel with the famous tension/release, isn't it? (especially releated to beats and rhytm)
This is indeed a possible result, since I used a voice from Splice that my instructor told me was pretty well-known.
Next time I'm going to get a singer with a microphone and a Garage Band type thing and I'll write the lyrics and melody myself... I think it'll work better.

Yesterday I've made about ten submissions on SubmitHub and I hope that despite everything I won't get anything but rejections... I'll tell you more soon

Thank you for this pertinent analysis

 

Im 100% ok with you and have thought about this thing meaning introduce elements on a more structured and evolving way that is contrasting the different parts of the arrangement

 

Last edited: May 14, 2024