i feel alot very lonely in this stupid country.. and it does not feel good being alone all the time

 

???

 

Do more day drinking, unless your particular ambitious country of residence has outlawed alcohol, in which use a different more accessible drug.

 

Where are you from, Kate?

 

The Royal that can't spell, is from Kengsington Palace man. Can't you see?

 

hit me up on my snapchat xo2.bash or facebook:noxge ashab we can get through this together

 

Hang in there bud, if you need someone to talk to we're all here for you

 

Chin up. Onward!

 

Wonder if you mean 'lonely in spirit' or 'socially lonely'. One is easier to fix than the other.

 

i feel like nobody really cares about me.. i feel lonely and depressed in my country. the weather is always bad. and my friends ignore me.
this is a horrible feeling..

 

What's going on here?
People are trying to cure someone of their motivation to write something deeply moving?
It may be a horrible feeling, but it may also be a big hit.
Make those f*cking emotions pay up.
Maybe you think I am kidding, but if you have any possibility to write... words, music or both.... do it.

 

Feelings come and go.

This fact is not meant to invalidate or devalue the feelings. But, it is a fact.

All the feelings are forever in flux and Ultimately, they are within the mind/brain that creates them.

What I focus on takes on significance, import and meaning that I am capable of making seem insurmountable.

It was helpful to examine these functions that were seemingly taking place on autopilot, in this Life.

Once it was realized there was no real "need" to hold onto old personal stories (or, to make up new stories) that memories, past, future, projections, concepts, ideas, imaginations, beliefs, desires, fears, arbitrary limits and bounds imposed on Self, thought, emotions, imaginations and beliefs were temporary and transient, situational and relational, arose, hung around and subsided within....there was a Freedom that became obvious.

It had always been there. "I" had simply been blind to it.

Anytime you really want to talk, or would like someone to listen, PM.

Peace.

 

We all have our burdens to bear I suppose, but I don't feel particularly sorry for 'you' Kate I'm afraid, because you've probably lost more money down the back of your sofa than what would have bought me a spanking brand new state-of-the-art recording studio.......if you would like to Patreon me and send support I can drop my email address off with the guard on the gates of Kensington Place. You would get exclusive first listens to my new tracks and a used paperback copy of my autobiography, "Where's The Bass?" That would undoubtedly bring a smile to your face....oh and before I forget happy mothers day to you!

 

can't you go out, meet some new people?
im a loner myself, but i know those are consequences of my choices.

 

Yeah, fucking winter heats hard on mood. But there are tricks for the winter too. Instead of @JMOUTTON solutions, I suggest the warm of a pitfire, and the warm of another body.
People ignores everyone a lot, is a problem of modern times. More and more selfcentered. I just would be happy with one really good friend. Until it happens, i am this friend too.

 

the social fabric of all 1st world countries has been shredded in the last 30 years. many reasons for this.
the result is this polarization and emptiness. meetup.com used to have groups for people who share common interest.
https://www.meetup.com/
I know they have some songwriting groups in my area, where you can perform and discuss music.
likewise bookclubs, gardening, home brewing, etc.

in my area you can attend classes at many universities for non-credit courses for free or small $$ which
will put you in contact with individuals of similiar interests.

If you call in a bomb threat to the local police department you can spend some quality time with law enforcement and get to know guys and gals in uniform. - just spitballin here, never actually tried this one....

 

also I'd stay off the social media, its a strange blur of sycophants and pyschopaths and narcissists, not a healthy view of the world, or one to try to emulate in your personal life.

 

Deaman you have hit it in the center.
But how did you "realize" there was no real need to 'do' all those things?

My experience

Spoiler

It came to me with a bang, but i think it had been building up and the timing made it perfect as a mid-life crisis.
After a while I considered it a "rest of my life crisis" because the intensity diminished, but continued on through some months, fading in stronger if I was not totally occupied and out when i had to focus...but it never really left.
The night of the bang was when i became aware of a drive to understand everything (myself, humans, life, existence, reality) after many years of not really wanting to try to understand.
Over a couple of months I was heavy into it, reading online (never had that available before) and writing (why i suggested trying that).
A lot came out in writing and i did not attempt to punctuate much or edit at first.
Yes, the feeling was horrible at first and i didn't know what was happening "to me"...
But i felt there was some power in going through it..that it would make me stronger if i followed ..or let myself be pushed by myself?

I credit the internet for allowing me to follow and learn what I had to understand, and to find new ways of understanding.
I think it IS important to understand as much as we can WHO and WHAT we are as humans in all ways, physically, psychologically, in relation to other life on Earth. I think it is important because I think that the truth of all that may be difficult to face in some ways, but the reality of it all is so "meaningful". Although i am a critic of everyone and everything, I admit that Jordan Peterson's ideas about meaning seem undeniably right for humans (however wrong he is about what is "real" and his word games). Peterson WAS integral for me in finding out what i wanted to know.

Skepticism has been so important for me as it helped so much in saving me from cynicism.
I thought i was too humble to judge others ... or to just the world ...
But the brain WILL HAVE it's judgments and there is no way to prevent that.
So, we should accept that and be aware of what wqe are doing.
In that way we can try to judge FAIRLY and WISELY.

I found out that I did not judge others so harshly .. or the world ("life") so harshly...
...but I judged MYSELF harshly, and MY LIFE harshly.
And THAT was the dragon I had to confront.
That was the dragon that came to me in the night and i thought might kill me, but something told me to not run that time (or maybe I would run to my death?).

So, I faced it all...what i was ..the worst that i had been ...and MIGHT yet be.. the worst that humans are and the worst that nature is ...
And in the morning I had a white coating of salt on my keyboard and desk ..many years of tears.
And I was still on the way down in some ways, but I had lost fear about it.
I know in that morning that I'd been so wrong in how I had judged, but I understood I didn't mean to ..didn't mean to judge myself, even.
And I had begin to forgive myself and others.. in ways I didn't even know where possible.
Most of that stuff i already KNEW. I just had not LOOKED.
Yes, everything I saw about life and myself WAS TRUE.
But i simply had not seen ENOUGH.
Who am I to even judge myself? What do I really KNOW about my brain and emotions, let alone OTHER PEOPLE'S?
Oh... in that kind of thinking one can find endless forgiving, even if one is still a cynic at heart and full of vengeance.

First : Forgive yourself. You have no idea who you are. [read the spoilers for anecdotal]
From that the logic should lead you to a lot of forgiving, and as they say, forgiving is not for others, but for YOU.
To be able to forgive, and MEAN it because you understand, is a great help.
And often it doesn't require that much depth of "understanding", but mostly a realization of wrong assumptions...

There are many and various ways to find relief from depression and I don't discount any of them.
Depression is tough thing to fight, and the best thing I know for it is physical movement.
Walk & move whenever possible, although it is the LAST thing that seems possible when you can't even get out of bed.
But if you can work your way up ...just moving a finger, then the hand then arm... sitting up..

Meds can help but are very dangerous and I think of them as a last resort and must be very temporary..actually I fear anyone taking them at all, but it seems there are positive result IF coupled with talk-therapy for various issues.
Sometimes almost ANYTHING you do is better than what you are doing (how you are thinking/feeling)
And that gets at what @deaman related.
I suggest Sam Harris for the straightest line to what I consider the best understanding about the self and countering bad thinking, but there are so many great helpers. Alan Watts, Joseph Campbell and on...

Anecdote:

Spoiler

I do recall having to work was a great help. Wearing tinted protective glasses with tears streaming down while i busted out a cast iron tub or jackhammered a floor, and the metallic taste in my mouth i didn't understand until i realized it was from the vitamins i was taking to help with lack of sleep...for the first days only and hour or two .. or none.

I see in this the results of steam-of-consciousness writing, which i tend towards ever since 'then' ..so now edited to shorten the viewable part.

 

Feels. Enlightenment makes us lonely until we embrace ourselves and accept and find others like us.

It makes even more sense when you realize the "me" is "you" and the "you" is "me"

 

Last edited: Mar 11, 2024