Hi all,

Here's a rework of the ouroboros track I uploaded some time ago. Going back to it, it was quite awful, so it's deleted. And as I was finally able to escape the cursed loop, the track could now be finished..
I'm very pleased about how it ended up. Kick could be better but sub mostly better handled I think. Not perfect overall, but good enough !
Please, feel free to critic at your heart's content

And Happy New Year already btw !

 

Last edited: Dec 30, 2023

Like the idea quite much, *love* the rhythm, however there are a few things I'd want to point out.

1) In my opinion, the track doesn't evolve over time enough to justify its length. Usually you want your track either to have different sections (A-B, verse-chorus, kinda like this, and also variations between the same sections) or to gradually build up over time (starting with few instruments and ending with a whole orchestra), or a combination of the two. You do it, kinda, but the difference is not as pronounced, noticeably due to the next point.

2) Adding to this further, the main piano sound that plays unchangingly and without intarruption throughout the whole track is very repetitive. In fact, the main opportunity to add variety to this track is to vary the sound. For a hypothetical B-section, you can change the rhythm, omit a few notes, replace it with another instrument that plays the same notes, play with filters and modulation, or even simply change the octave. Anything to break up the monotony. You kinda do it with the filters, but that's not drastic enough, it still feels repetitive.
Also the sound itself sounds unnatural and robotic because it's like six acoustic piano samples doing a thing an acoustic piano never does in a live setting. If you were to make it more synthetic and "organic" (i.e. changing, moving) it would've been better IMO. A phaser or an autopan before reverb would've made it livelier as well.

Moving to mixing.

3) Pretty much every sound lacks highs. And to a different amount, so just upping them on master would sound both hollow and harsh.

4) Bass is weird. It feels like a sine intermodulates with itself, I'm not sure what is happening.

5) Not enough panning, not enough subtle delays and other such things. You go two thirds of the way and stop there. You can do more.

In fact, the last one is how I'd describe the whole track. Full of great ideas and right things not taken to their effect.
I'm still positive about the track overall. My personal association is, it reminds me of the game Valdis Story: Abyssal City, and this is not a bad thing at all. Also you're doing a better job with ear candy sounds than I can comprehend : D

 

Last edited: Jan 7, 2024

the shakers/hat part is a little rattlesnake-like. the train crossing bell plays a little too long maybe. it might get annoying after many listens.
the spatial aspects are nice.

 

I really like it and can imagine it being a section of a longer more developed concept like Tubular Bells. An excellent listen for me. Thank you

 

Thanks a lot for your feedback ! I won't go back to it now, but I'll definitely keep all these in mind for the next ones.

1. That's right I tend to make things evolve in a too suble way, prob because I like getting in trance while doing it, barely pressing pause or stop. I thought it was already a bit better compared to the old version but must not be enough. I'll work on that.

2. The piano was there to make you enter in a kinda trance state, hence the repetition. There are some changes but again, way too subtle, especially with the other stuff layered over. Not even sure we can hear them anymore :P. Only played bass guitar when I was ado, never piano. I usually begin with a simple line, then I build over, and maybe over again, etc. So indeed, absolutely not organic.

3/4. Yes, mastering is still a Goliath monster I'm struggling with. Overall slowly climbing the Everest. The bass was horrendous in previous version, I managed to get this one a bit better but not perfect that's for sure. No idea how to do better to add lows (not sub) without saturation or distortion yet. For the highs, I couldn't hear it at first but indeed, seem pretty obvious now, though some elements would be worst with more highs, so must be done on individual tracks if not elements.

5. This one surprises me a bit more as I thought it wasn't too bad. If I do too much pan etc, those that have don't stand out this much and it all sound a bit messy. I like to do tracks with multiple "layers of listening", but what I mean by that is if everything moves around constantly, there's no clear path to follow, it's all indistinguishable. But I'll keep that in mind anyway, I totally agree I could do better.

Again, many thanks for your valuable insights. Glad you still like the idea !

 

There's one as a rattlesnake, that's the point indeed ! If you're talking about the bells still running while kinda transitioning, without it gets very disruptive I think (and I love churches bells, some crazy city people have tried to make them shut, but that's another story :p). Thank you for your feedback, could probably have played a bit more with its level.

 

Thanks Aidene . Not this one anymore, but I still have a track to do in "honor" of trance so maybe that'll be the one ?? Glad you like it ;)