Please do not delete this topic. It is very important to me.
Not everyone will understand all the things included here and in the whole thread.

As an introduction I wanna mention that I am really serious. Everything here is dead serious for me. I am not trolling. Those things bothering me for long freakin time. And universe wanted that now is the best time to share my thoughts about it and maybe get some answers.

Sleep Deprivation? Delusions? Drugs? Mind Control? Abduction? Aliens? Boredom? Too much Dopamine & Serotonine? Destination?

Please Explain Me

The difference between most of Us regular people
& The Famous Artists

Like Aphex Twin or Grimes or Die Antwoord

There are more


But as an example I take Grimes because is the easiest to me to explain and introduce my thoughts and after reading you will be know why.

All those artists are big inspiration for me and I respect them very much and I really love them.
I choose Grimes as example and I don't disrespect her talent or inteligence or anything.
I just must say things thay I will say. I don't wanna hurt anyone. Forgive me. I'm sorry but I need to.
I need to share all my thoughts about this.
All of this feels every second more and more stupid.


Ok. Let's start!
Explain me the key of her success and creativity.
What is behind her.

She is dumb as fuck. For someone with intelligence like this the succes will be tying shoelaces on your own.
She is like small girl with cerebral palsy which an alien from some advanced civilization has take control.
And this Alien doesn't have full control over her brain or doesn't fully know how to comunicate with people like we are.
She like can't play on keyboard. She can't sing. And even she doesn't know how to speak. She is dumb.
How the hell she learned so advanced production stuff?!
Sound design is fucking very hard and melody, composition, making the whole track, mixing, mastering.
All of this stuff!
It needs a lot of knowledge, skills.
Those stuff are hard for average people. You need to know a lot about computers and other stuff.
You need to be above the average and it still is hard.

Is she just pretending to be stupid?
Is it only her playing? And it is her idea for image?

She have that much of chillout. She have everything in the ass.
She don't worry about money, food, future, what people think, how she supposed to talk.
She just have fun.

Maybe Us people, some souls choosen this planet to have fun and have high serotonine and dopamine and unlimited potential to create?
Or she is really abducted by Alien?

Just watch those 2 interviews with her and 1 live performance

The best part is that she met Elon Musk on twitter by coinicidence.
He wanted to put some smart quote but saw that someone else put it before and it was Grimes.
And they started to writing each other and they have baby.

And like he is smart and dumb similar way to her.
You know what I mean.
If not here is example topic about him about this phenomena:
https://www.dogsonacid.com/threads/elon-musk-is-a-prick.794968/

Is Elon Musk is abducted by Alien too?
Or he choosen this life? or other shit?
We are the bots and they are the players?
We are just bunch of loosers stuck with depression, credits, family, lack of time and other shit and can't do something more, we are stuck.
What the fuck is going on?

THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE?
THEY CAN'T BE REAL PEOPLE!
IT IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!

Another example crazy fuckers Die Antwoord. Just read about controversy about them.
Or the most crazy of them all Aphex Twin
He made most of his songs because Boredom?!

When I am bored i don't have energy, motivation, creativity to do anything.
The max I can do is to watch some series, like cartoon or some movie or tv.
I feel weird and like I have suicide thoughts in Boredom state.
And almost always feel tired and sleep is like my best method to escape from it.
When I wake up I feel little better and then again when I feel worse again sleep is only escape from it.

Back to Aphex Twin
I know that many times he was trolling but I think for example about sleep deprivation there was something. For sure isn't true that he doesn't sleep for 2 weeks. 14 fucking days. No way! Maybe he mean from friday to monday and again from fiday to monday. The truth is you need only 3 - 5 days to have halucinations and other shit like he described. And it is possible and anyone can do that. It really can boost your creativity and change your behave and working of your brain and it really make that you become some crazy shit artist for short time. But is it the key? I don't think so. It only can be some kind of tool or help. But only a little and from time to time. Doing this is very unhealthy.


So the main question here is
Why am I a looser?
Why I can't succeed?
Why I can't make tracks?

Fucking So much I wanna be famous and creative and motivated and make cool stuff
But I fucking can't!
I am useless piece of shit.
I have depression or other shit idk.
I don't have energy for anything.
I don't have motivation.
I don't have skills.
Why? Why? Why?

I put much of work.
But like I loose my skills instead of being better I am like worse and worse.
And I forgetting stuff.
Some things that I made some time ago I can't reproduce them.
I don't know how I made them.
I know some shit and I am good at it.
And I fucking forget all of this after some time.
And I am learning and learning like same stuff and forget. learn and forget.
Never ending circle.

And lack of motivation.
Why doing this.
Don't even have motivation to open fucking DAW!
Too much stuff
I am overwhelmed very very much.
Tons of plugins
R2R cracked stuff every day
I even don't download anymore
I don't have purpose or motivation to test those stuff
I don't have space on my hard drive!
News from there , news from here, Ai and other shit.
Tons of forums, tons of discord servers.
Tons of messages.
Tons of new youtube videos.
Lack of time.
I am consuming shit only.
And have destructive thoughts like no one will listen my music anyway.
Lack of money.
Remorse that I can't find a job.
When I have job i feel like prisoner and only what I wanna do is music
But when I am alone in front of computer and supposed to make music
I am even more depressed.

WHAT THE FUCK!?
HOW TO GET OUT FROM THIS HELL?

And
What is a difference between me and THEY?
How they doing this that They have so much energy and motivation?

The truth is that You are similar to me.
Even if you doesn't have depression whatsoever.
Any of You doesn't have energy and motivation to do creative shit all the time
And you doesn't have time. You must do homework shit and pay bills.
And I bet if you will have a lot of time and do nothing but music
You will quickly became me!

So where is the secret? How to get unlimited motivation and creativity?

I FUCKING BET IF ALL THE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET HAD SO MUCH ENERGY, SO MUCH DOPAMINE AND SEROTONINE AND OXITOCINE IN THEIR BRAIN...

...HALF OF THE WORLD WILL BE LIKE ELON MUSK

BUT MOST OF US ARE ONLY SHADOW OF A MAN


THIS IS FUCKING UNFAIR!
FOR ME ALL THOSE THINGS ARE CONNECTED IN SOME WAY!
PLEASE EXPLAIN ME!
WHY I HAVE 0% SEROTONINE AND 0% DOPAMINE AND 0% OXITOCINE
AND I AM FUCKING REALLY UNHAPPY BUT I HAVE ALL THE BASICS, WARM WATER, FOOD, EVERYTHING
BUT EVERYTHING SUCKS!
I DOESN'T FEEL ANYTHING BUT PAIN!
I CAN'T BE CREATIVE. I CAN'T BE ARTIST! I DON'T HAVE MOTIVATION.
WHY?

Some of you are maybe into crazy circle with friends or other famous persons in things like sold your soul to the devil or drinking blood of children or be with contact with aliens.

Many of you are a lot smarter than me.

Please explain me why.
Why I am a piece of shit.
Why I don't have energy?

I was looking everywhere, Changing diet, meditation, I readed Biographies of famous artist. Nothing spectactular.

I don't know why.

Why this is so unjustice?

If I had so much energy and dopamine, serotonine, oxytocine

I will be like Elon Musk or Aphex Twin or Grimes

Why their brain produce those substances like unlimited amount and my not?
I really have fucking 0%

This is so fucking unfair.

I am useless piece of shit and I die soon or make suicide because have enough of looking at the mirror and see face of the looser.

You know my mindset now a little.

Don't worry. I am like this for years.
Nothing wrong happen. It is just me LOL

I am dumb.
Please explain me everything.
Why I am a looser?
How to be an artist?
Is it not for me?
I have different mission here on this planet?
I am not here for fun and playing gigs?
So what the fuck then?


Other things worth to mention.

I heard that limitations can improve creativity a lot! And skills too!
Boredom is too very good for improving creativity.
But I am doing something wrong. It didn't work for me.

Oh another important thing.

Don't be so fucking perfect. Watching decontructions of songs that I am listen I saw that there are many imperfections and those imperfections make the songs better and much more unique.
Weird but true!
Don't be perfect, be lazy, don't remove noise. Finish song even if you think some part sucks and are techicaly shitty sometimes, don't fix them, don't waste time. You know what I mean!

Give your tips about things like that!

 

Last edited: Jul 20, 2023

I didn't read all of your post, While i'm sure it's meaningful. I just wanted to say hurrdurf and reply because it was kinda interesting and comical and sounded a bit like a whiney crying child.

With that said, I think you have it.

 

Don't do as many drugs as I do, Your heart won't survive.
Be weird.
Don't enjoy people looking at you, and they look harder.

 

Live and lean into the delusion that you are greater than what your eyes see at the moment.

 

Yeah I agree. I am like child crying and wanna some adult to help me.

 

I edited thread. I just added 2 words. I fucking hate editing posts or threads.
I prefer look of it in original state without "edited" script at the bottom.

I am fucking unhealthy perfectionist.
It drives me fucking crazy!
Everything I do must be perfect. Moved exact to the 1 pixel. Every space, every comma and period must be in their place.

When I posted stuff on sister site I was pissed to Pirat because I posted 3 programs from same company.
I was so perfect about it, I waited few minutes to add one post after another to be them minute after minute.
One after another. In special order.
And Pirat add only 2 of them in one day and third one other day.
He destroyed my perfection haha.

This is ridicolous and almost all of you will had in ass things like that.

It really drives me crazy, I need to do everything perfect because If I leave it I will be pissed and it will be drilling my head until I fixed it and make possibly most perfect I can. And the most those small details that everone will have in the ass except me.

 

Last edited: Jul 16, 2023

You look like you are in a little depression so you need to identify what cause the depression and get away from and when you will doing better, try to do music again, you must admit, all musicians can't be famous and or known, maybe it's called destiny, you are not a looser, indeed limitations boost creativity because you always need to get around limitations to do what you want (I know, I work with hardware samplers etc), when you are in this state of mood, to me you need to get away from music and do others things like help people in the streets, meeting people, travel, do sport.

 

Hmm... So this is only me?
Other people are like Aphex Twin or Grimes or Elon Musk but just not famous and with smaller amount of cash?

 

My mom working hard the whole life and have shit, nothing, and never have time.
Like the whole life is fucking Test or some other shit how much do you can handle.
I have the same. Only bad things happen to me.
I know many people that work hard the whole life and doesn't have money and they are alcoholics.
And many of them died already in acidents or other shit.
They are really like fucking bots.
And I feel like bot too.

Looser Bot LOL

 

I think Grimes is a smart beautiful woman playing a dumb silly girl because that's what sells, she relates to 13 year old girls and men with questionable motives.

Most people are trapped in the quagmire of day to day living, most struggle mentally and physically to keep their heads above water. Artists do too but they reach for meaning and purpose, they don't just suffer. They often fail but for me it's never about that, it's about the searching. I make music to connect to something I can't even define, it's a kind of audioalchemy, playing with the invisible elements of our universe, sculpting harmonic resonances. I enjoy it. I don't make music to connect with people, it's just exploration for me. I suspect most people here make music hoping to one day be successful, to make money, to be revered in some way - fame, fortune and everything that goes with it (thanks Freddie). The ones who make it have to pretend to be what they think is expected of them as celebrities, it isn't who they really are.

I've always felt disconnected from reality, my whole life. I always will and I don't try to connect anymore and that brings a degree of freedom. Of course, I'm still in the quagmire, I still struggle to merely exist, but I don't feel that I have any kind of importance or even meaning in the world. I'm just organic matter that appeared and will disappear. We can't even leave our mark on the world because it's all transient, in a cosmic sense everything we know and create will disappear as the cogs of the universe churn galaxies into dust. All we can really do is use our intelligence to try to understand what and why everything is happening.

I hope I'm not being too optimistic here - let me know!

 

@Crinklebumps
But if you will be famous. Music you made almost never die. It can be listen by people for long time like 200 - 300 years or maybe even longer.
And some people will dance to it, some will be healed by listening to it.
Isn't that great and one of the reason to be famous?

The whole text in thread was like.
Isn't our life predestined and we are prisoners of our brains?
Isn't it lottery? One people have max powers and other need to fight to survive and fight every day with themselfs to have 1%.
This is unfair.
Why someone have it and me not?

Like you know what I mean.
What to do to have more?
What they do?
Those are humans or aliens?
Or maybe every human have some mission here and sometimes people are here only for fun and maybe I chosed some mission and those famous people just are here for fun?

We don't have control of our lives that we should have.
Most of it is coincidence, luck and some lottery from our brain and lack of serotonine, dopamine, oxitocine, or too much of them and hormons. All of those shit decides of our lives and we have only small amount of control. It is all fuckery of chemistry in our brain. We have so little to tell. We have no right to vote LOL
You know what I mean?

You fall in love because oxytocine bumped in your brain.

You are agressive or mad because lack of serotonine.

You are happy and buying stuff because serotonine bumped in your brain.

You are making some track because dopamine bumped in your brain.

You are sitting alone without hope and any purpose and have depression because all of them drops.

And those shit deciding about your life a lot.

 

Last edited: Jul 16, 2023

I'm so glad nobody saw me sperging out like that LOL
OP, visit a psychiatrist. You're on autistic spectrum. Maybe they'll figure something out, maybe they'll at least find a support group for you.

 

You are my support group

Crap I break rules even in my own topic.
I am created to break the rules. I always break the rules. I can't be serious for even just 5 minutes LOL

 

For real, OP. I wish I could help but this is just what it is. Our brains are wired differently, we're not fit for general society. They can't understand us and we can't understand them. This is how the world is.
The best we can do is work with our own psyche so it causes us less stress. That also includes figuring out what kind of interactions do us most harm and eithat adjusting our behavior or cutting those off. This will make us more productive in our own strong facets, and we do have them. You do have them, I'm sure.

Oh and also never, never compare yourself to others. It's pointless. It's like comparing yourself to a blue whale and feeling destroyed because it's dumb as fuck and doesn't even have hands but still can hold its breath for two days straight, and you can't. It's silly.

 

The issue is, of course, that (continuing the analogy) we live underwater and society is build with no concept of using hands, but comparing ourselves to something we can't be is nonetheless silly.

 

We are so similar to each other but in the same time so different.
It's fascinating and sad a little because like you mention sometimes no one understand us and we are little lonely with our demons and we must fight them alone.

 

I'm still trying to learn that and remember but I am still forgetting or find a new point of view about it and again comparing.

Comparing age when artist started to producing music and their first release to my age and that i still didn't release anything is like repeating all the time. I do it again after some time.

 

The only differences between you and them are random uncontrolled events that nor you nor them have any control over. The main ingredient of success on any field is pure luck. That doesn't mean that they are not talented: they are, but they are as talented as a huge number of people that didn't make it because of those random events. The survivorship bias and luck as the most important factor in success are both well documented nowadays.

So just enjoy the ride while making the things and being with the people that spark your brain's reward circuits. The rest is random.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.co...life-success-is-far-greater-than-we-realized/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias


EDIT:
This is the italian study about luck and success for any science nerd around here
https://arxiv.org/abs/1802.07068

 

Last edited: Jul 16, 2023

I'm glad that there are people with similar thoughts or conclusions.
But in the same time is little sad that chances that I need only some ingridients to add to my cake to grow better are smaller.
My cake is batter. I failed LOL too low temperature. To quick I pull out it from oven LOL
I need pros in my kitchen or something. I doesn't have luck I didn't know any. LOL

 

Extensive. But I'll try to keep it short.

They all have one thing in common which is fundamental education in their domain since they are a child. Most people do not have.
The result out of this is, that they do not have a problem with learning new things.

There is one video of an experienced guy that I rely on, which answered this question that we all care for: How to get really rich - with taking out the luck-factor as far as possible and he definetely is not a rambler.
By focusing your whole life on one single product, that you chosed and defined and blend out everything else.

This is basically what every one of those musicians, athletes and entrepreneurs did. They just focus on one single thing for their whole life.

The pedagogical disadvantage that very often comes with this is, that those people do not know how to do anything else. And what they experience if they do not really have to do anything anymore and materially achieved everything, is a big hole full of nothing, which results in the common lack of level.