I chopped most of the first paragraph as it wasn't well expressed.

 

You guys know when you're totally sure you're not being respected....

I'll be Bach. I mean back. With a vengeance for my friend @Lois Lane .Ex-friend

 

Last edited: Mar 2, 2023

Damnit, I always get here too late.

The story has already been written, published, marketed and hit the shelves!!!
Still, it was a whole lot better than my idea:-

10 year old laptop I'd tell him to stick Hypersonic 2 on there.

*Storytelling has never been a forte of mine!

 

Last edited: Mar 3, 2023

I remember when a car pulled up and three Scousers asked me if I wanted to buy a laptop in a case. I said yeah right I bet that case is full of house bricks!! They laughed and drove off!!

 

This sounds a lot like "asking for a friend" thing. Plot twist...they are planning to rob the store and asking here for advice.

 

Ok, I know I promised payback for @Lois Lane and the others assh... fellas . But I can't top that

I think I haven't laughed so hard since my brother-in-law, in the little chaos of some reforms at his place, had a shot of coffee. Except it was machine oil...

 

Don't count yourselves out so easily. If you have a story or song inside you that wants to come out don't prejudice, just let it come out. After that it belongs to the world and you did your part as the medium that let exist. It's never too late or well done enough or we would have stopped at cave paintings.

 

TiTok is about to revert everyone back to cave paintings.

There's nowhere to go but a mass visit to 5 Second Tom cause those shorts are getting shorter every day. Before next Sunday TikTok will host meetings on how to get into the negative time continuum so we can let this retartar continue, um....


Hi, My name is Tom. Wanna play? Er.. no that's Chucky...
...Hi My Name is Tom.

 

Last edited: Mar 2, 2023

Cooking Instant noodles on a Microwave while Tiktoking,
makes you go back in time..

 

Why don't they just call it TikTom so they know Tom is approaching faster than Chucky these days.

 

Last edited: Mar 3, 2023

I'd make a better job of cave paintings than storytelling. In fact I have some spare paint left over after painting the dining room. Wait, when you said cave paintings, were you thinking hieroglyphics or just giving it a coat or pastel blue?

That's a line from an Adam Sandler movie, Hmmm at least I think that was the line although the name might be different, and the word 'Hi' wasn't used and I'm not entirely sure 'my name is' was used either.. Know what? Forget I said anythin'. :D

Yes, back to the time before you put on noodles to cook. I should mention, I'm one of the few people on the planet who can burn microwave noodles, although technically at the time I first tried I stirred them and left the metal spoon in. The microwave went a lovely bright orange before it went ..bang!!!
Still, it was better than my cousin did with her microwave. She put on chestnuts to cook for 30 minutes. Checked after about 15 or 20 to see how they were going, and they shot out all over the kitchen . It was like trying to dodge the Gunfight at OK Coral.. But I digress!!!

 

Last edited: Mar 3, 2023

LOL It was 50 First Dates and it was 10 second Tom, soon to be 5 second Tom thanks to these Toks.

 

If you all rob the store, can you grab me a cocka pepperoni?

 

Ok, I get it. But here I am basically the one that has "inspired" half of the stories. After many years of working hard to build up a nasty reputation I think that counts as a great achievement
I guess you could say I'm the muse of the thread...

Not exactly what my parents had in mind when they started paying my college but, you know, shit happens.

 

Drinking Coke and Pepsi may increase Testicle size
Just saying..

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/1189aej/mentoscoke_basement/

It also makes your gut bigger which cancels out the size of your testicles if you add mentos sarms for a little boost & a bitta Whoa, Black Betty, Bambalam today is limp dick day so absolutely, no bwomp harams.

Feel like it's a tie, or right back where we started from, at the very least. Even if it is just an optical illusion from the mere distance where objects seem larger and closer from the rear view mirror where you can't really see things clearer.

 

Last edited: Mar 3, 2023