Don't want to be rude but it sounds like a holding tune when calling a large company.
This can be put on repeat for a minute or half an hour since it is not going anywhere.

I don't know what your comment about 'it's been made in one day' should explain.
Excuse for? Why not take a little bit longer, play it to a few people, ask for feedback, improve it and then drop it here.?

 

Congrats on sitting down to finally make a track of your own and posting it! The feedback you get from everyone should build you up to be a better producer if you're humble enough to take constructive or even negative criticism to bend it to your own advantage.

I liked where your track was going, keyword going. It felt less like a track and more like an intro to a track. It had no real structure, but a precursor to a structure. Don't worry when I started out most of my tracks sounded barely like intros for a while.

As others have said you're missing a melody and if you're missing that then there is no room for lyrics or vocals because there's no melody to follow. Maybe you want it to be an instrumental, which is fine but it still needs a solid melody to be completed.

The melody is the leader of the other elements in the track and if there's no leader then there is no direction since the other participants are free to run wild. Music likes order, and if you have no melody then you have no sequence that invites itself back to feature replay-ability to those people that enjoy aesthetics of music and sound as opposed to chords that hold the message and lyrics. Even the most obscure/freeform music has some form of order that repeats the parts people like most again.

In reality, most people will sing or hum the melody and will wait for that part to come back again when the chorus features itself, less people care about the verse and message. So feature the best of both worlds. Sorry that got long but I hope that helps.

 

A bit surprised reading some comments.. seriously, I've heard lots of super shitty stuff posted here

In general, like it, esp the piano line - I'd put it up front as the main element. "constructive criticism":

- (observed by many), the "form" (structure) is messy. It should take you on a journey, and it doesn't. You have the elements, soo..
- the soundscape imo too harsh for too long. Subtract, let the listener take a breath, expose the main element, etc

Keep going and good luck

 

what sample pack did you use?

 

Thank you guys for all the feedback! I really appreciate it, and I will consider all of this feedback going into my next song, whenever I make it. I can definitely see things like no story, harsh mixing, that piano, unfinished it feels, no melody etc, thanks.

@Ed Jachimowicz I didn't really mean anything by that 1 day thing, I guess I just put made in 1 day just because. Idk why I put it myself. And yeah maybe you are right, asking other people first before posting here, maybe my bad on my side.

@madbuzzin just take any drum pack and add reverb, atleast thats what I did.

 

For a first song, it's not a bad effort.

My first track was a pile of shite (some would say my latest are).

In fact, that would be a good idea for a thread.... post your retrospectively embarrassing first ever complete track (if you dare).

 

That would actually be amazing... Now I wanna go dig up some old gems from 2009 haha!

 

Anything to oblige...

https://audiosex.pro/threads/dare-you-re-post-your-first-ever-track.62664/

 

this is a great thread.. I made my contribution

 

IMHO you lack decent headphones/speakers. Because the high frecquencies are REALLY strong and hurting the ears.
But other than that, I liked it.

 

It's Not a Song, it's a tune. As a "songwriter" there's a huge difference. My main criticism is I was waiting around for something to happen and it didn't. Aside from some predictably basic variations on the motif, I didn't hear anything memorable like a constructed Hook.
All that aside, it sounded OK. If you were one of my students I'd say keep working on melodic ideas. Maybe find a singer and turn it into a song to expand the basic idea. Keep working on the rhythmic and melodic variation until you build to something resembling a hook. Good work.

 

LoL dude... but is that a good thing or a bad thing to sound like a waiting tune? I mean it can still sound good and good in a produced way (mix master shit etc)

Also informing the amount of time you spend on it can indicate a lot, like, its a sketch and i need some feedback what way to continue or what to improve etc as that is what i think he meant and not necessarily an excuse to something like its been done hasty etc :P

 

The good
-It's a song, (so far finished )
-It's ok to listen to (heard worse )

Neutral
- Purpose ... As a Chart Hit ... neehhhhh as a background track for Games or something, with a bit of mastering, yes.
With softer drums and stiller glockenspiel -like sounds and slower Tempo as a Chillout track also .


The bad
- As HikaruSniper wrote, my feeling is similar ,the high frequencies get after 1-3 minutes very strong, aggressive and a bit annoying . That's the first part to work on .

 

@HikaruSniper I think I know what you mean, thanks for feedback. I'm pretty sure my headphones aren't terrible, I just think I didn't notice the higher frequencies somehow.

@Dimentagon Yeah Ik its not a lot, it doesn't really have a proper melody either (other then that half baked piano), but thanks for the advice anyway!

@Polomo Yup, gotta work on my mastering and EQing and all that other stuff..

 

Good job on finishing your 1st song. I think it sounds nice. I don't know anything about chords and progression... but I can sense YOUR movement and energy in the song. Good job. Can it be better? Sure almost everything can be better but you started and finished something.. make more songs dude!

 

Is that how you want your song to end?
It's good that you finished a song, a lot of times you get a huge amount of ideas but never manage to finish them. But next time try to structure it a bit more. listen to more music also

 

It sounds good, if it's your first composition