So... I've been on a quest of sorts, a long journey into the deep abyss of the web, searching high and low for a decent price on soothe-ing balms... Spoken to several Weiss-men along the way. Ended up lurking in this sites glorious humour section. Seems like you fine people might know where to go What's a fresh face such as myself got to do to get some advice around here?

 

Contact @Xupito and buy a VIP membership. That will grant you access to our private vault in which we have all the releases that have not, and never will, be made available to the rest of moderfakers on this site, specially those moderfakers that made fun of me but send me private messages asking for naked photos. Dumb fucks! Asking for naked photos cause they want to see my tits instead of asking to see the Soothe crack I got hidden somewhere. As I said, contact @Xupito that he will hook you up with VIP. Don't ask a dude name @Olymoon for anything because he will ban you. Those Egyptians don't play.Also, you should stay away from all Russians on this site. Russians are not good. No fucking good.

 

@The Pirate you forgot to mention that things are getting harder since Egyptians and Russians have made an (plugin) alliance, and are sowing iLok keys all over the world as informed in this post:
https://audiosex.pro/threads/helicopter-crew-finds-massive-ilok-in-utah-desert.56456/

 

I love you but don't joke about that, we all know Russians are awesome

 

Those Egyptians when they go big they really do all right

Well said and I'd say Russians are just as good or bad as any other people. Each one with their own culture.
But don't worry this an inside-audiosex-joke everyone who's half active here knows in a couple months.
The same with the above joke.

 

Oh, I forgot.

True. I just wanted to add if you want the nude photo-tits Kontakt, sorry, contact @No Avenger, another proud VIP member.
Who will grant you a "WTF are you talking about?" answer and that's all right because he actually doesn't have them and I just want to mess with him. So ask him anyway. He really doesn't bite. Probably.

 

Thank you lord Pirate captain, may fair winds guide your sails

 

FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!
Everything that goes wrong in this world is because of those fucking Russians. Just like it was back in the days when they were known as Soviets. Russians are the worst people to ever populate this planet. Russians are not good.

 

Russians are no good? Bullshit. What about borscht, Russians have been known to make great cold beet soup (or are those the Ukraines?).

 

Russians are not good at all. Beet soup was stolen from their neighbors. Come on vro! If you steal a beet soup, you can't be good people at all. https://www.washingtonpost.com/worl...8464b8-0d51-11eb-b404-8d1e675ec701_story.html

 

I can't believe it. The irony is that if the Soviet Union was still standing, this wouldn't even be an issue. All this talk of borscht is making me hungry.

 

You are right. The issue there would be: No beets for the soup.

 

All right, okayy.
True. I was just trying to cover it a bit. Since, you know, based on that description I should be Russian since I'm a bad mean person.
Until I was twelve I thought my name was "Theworst". I'll have to check my family tree...

 

And mine too!

Wait... i did not reply.. OK well, you can delete this one!

 

You must be another one of those fucking Russians.

 

Too late. Screenshot taken.

 

Yea, as I was writing my post I groked the Ukrainian connection, and following up your link sinched it for me. For years I ate at Kiev which was a 24 hour 7 days a week opened Ukrainian restaurant in Manhattan, NYC on the southwest corner of 2nd Ave and 7th Street. If it wasn't their kasha varnishkas with mushroom gravy for a quick coming down meal at 4am after partying hearty then it was their great borscht with a dollop of sour cream and the buttered bread that came with it at any other time. So yea, fuck the Russians, those miserable thieves...and Ukrainian woman have the most gorgeous boobs too. Beets and boobs, a winning Ukrainian one two punch.

 

"I stood outside the Kiev tonight, nose pressed
to the plate glass, feet freezing
in city mush, and watched two aging lovers
inhale their steaming bowls of mushroom barley soup."

***************************************************************

"I'm a fairy with purple wings and white halo
translucent as an onion ring in
the transsexual fluorescent light of Kiev
Restaurant after a hard day's work."

Allen Ginsberg

 

Yea, had a bowl or ten of soup with Ginsberg in the room back in the day. And yes, the mushroom barley was also a staple.

#dazegoneby