This is CRAZY. I just checked the night-table. My wife has even resorted to stashing away carrots... on the bright side, this might stop her GRABBING AT MY NUTS

 

the whole place seems to have gone nuts and bananas recently.
I've even heard tell of a penchant for Gourds amongst some stay-at-home-bored folks.
Brave, but personally, I think it'd be tricky to get the angle just right....
'Owwee...', ! (from somewhere far away)
Well that seemed to have hit the spot anyways.

 

When in doubt, cucumber.

 

Also courgette. But I have discovered many that choose carrot. I don't know why.

 

You've "heard tell". But I remember seeing that on a DVD...
edit: and it didn't go where you'd think...

 

I shouldn't visit this place without my glasses

 

Sunglasses, right? lol

 

I have always stuck to the advice of old Tarquin Traqtour from the local vegetable farm.

"When ye carrot be too narrow
And the cucumber's too long,
Upgrade to the noble marrow
and ye'll not likely go wrong."



He's 84 years' old and they say his farts are silent. I don't know how he manages it.

 

Last edited: Apr 7, 2020

now I understand at last... *food porn*

 

Cucumb 'er?! I hardly know 'er!

 

In the last weeks, perhaps even blindfolded

 

Last edited: Apr 7, 2020

I prefer wives hoarding food, than hoarding wives for food, but that's me.

 

my wife just said to me -- "good morning! is that a carrot in your pocket? or are you just happy to see me?"

 

That's the cover Nirvana should've used...

 

Whoreding food.