Salam!! Yep this time a french canadian (me) fell for those mysterious eyes worked hard on this one. hope guys like it and hopefully she will only real thing are guitars, ukulele and vocals I all did the rest (sitar, tablas, violon, persian instrument etc.) are all kontakt samples.. tried to give it a old song vibe with world elements. is this too hyped? I know the ending with smooth vocal I got to make it louder cause compare to rest of the song its too low.. anyway feedback welcomed ))

 

Nice melody! Gather some friends and give her a live performance.
Percussion at the ending might be a bit too loud.

 

good instrumentals but your voice sounds like gay

 

you really think so? you sounds like a typical racist non educated living in mom basement type of guy with no real talent that like to bash. its ok. there is no cure for that but you still can improve your self love gay people.

 

It's also "OK" to live in the USA" I mean your reply is so that. me too im racist ;) for sure your USA people or a boring English Canadian right? ;) peace and love to your pathetic values ;) xxx

 

it's nice. dude. a worthy effort.
i'm sure she'll dig it.

not sure what software you're using to mix this.
perhaps a compressor on the voice to lift it up in the mix and a bit more low end on the voice.
actually, some compression on a lot of the instruments might help make the mix more manageable.

I almost always roll off the low 50hz on most tracks.
There's a lot of energy there that with all the tracks combined wants to peg the meters.

if you want to make it more 'breathy', you can run it through an exciter.
Logic Pro's exciter has a setting I love called "Refresh Airless Material."

I'd ease back on the reverb in places.

I'd wait a day or two and come back to it with fresh ears for another mix.
Can you automate your mix to keep refining it?
Maybe mix with some good headphones.
it's hard as shit to do good mixes that sound right everywhere without reference or calibrated monitors.

I'd change the name to An Ocean Called Yasii since there are two 'see' sounds in the title.

you put a lot of work into this.
just work the mix some more.
you're almost there.

 

I personally think that for this particular project, the roughness of the mix actually works in its favor, and I don't mean to say that it is particularly rough or anything, just that it really sounded like something off a record made in the mid 60s, I really like it, and if that doesn't get her attention, well move along buddy, move along... the only real change I would suggest is to take out the initial instance of the ethnic instrument right at the beginning as it really stands out too much and seems a little gimmicky. I think it is much more powerful the way it develops later in the song, way more organic.

BTW, speaking of a transexual voice lol, this song totally tripped me out when I saw the video, totally thought it was a chick!!!

http://youtu.be/KtdWGGpvY1s

 

Well, dude. You're just wrong. I don't hate gay people.
I'm not a racist either. You sound like a real untalented person who likes to fight with everyone who criticizes your music.
There's no cure for that. But, still you can practice...

 

all good mate. your opinion. did not seem to bother the other mates in other music forum ) so im good about it. it was just you after all. so dont need to change much

 

Well dude this sounded homophobic and it shows your lack of knowledge on gay people. Probably among the most viril voices in music (and your neighborhood) there are a lot of gay people.
You just sounded ignorant by saying that instead of a constructed criticism *no*

I'll admit that the OP's reaction was on the same level tho... i clicked on the topic expecting love all over the place

 

I did overreacted as well.. im just proud of the voice I have. I mean. not to be pretentious but if you listen closely and analyse the song you can hear some versatil and interesting nuance in the voice where it can be yes higher near female a like. but the next chorus it drops to very low a la Leonard Cohen. I just use it as an instrument and as long as it always translate EMOTIONS and its MELODDIC. thats what I try to achieve. ) anyway thanks guys and girls for your replies. keep up the good music.

 

Hi,

very nice effort, I hope she is worth it *yes*

My critique: there is absolutely no bass present throughout the whole song.
No bass drum, no bass, the low-end is completely missing from the frequency spectrum.

While of course not every song or performance needs a bass, I think this song would benefit from it.
There are parts where quite a lot is going on, with many instruments playing at the same time... there a bass would provide a real fundament, which is missing now.

Second thing: the outro is too long for my taste.
I would shorten it by around a minute; it is not interesting enough to draw the attention of the listener for the whole time to the song... I feel it makes the song unnecessarily long.

Just my opinion, of course...

In overall, very good work

 

This is really good, but I agree with Gulliver the outro is too long winded and it needs a bass. It needs a bit more muscle. Romance in a leather jacket! I enjoyed listening to it.

 

hi, are you sure she's in love with you too? than it's ok. otherwise only you are crazy;) and it will be too much for her. imho

 

Thanks a lot everyone for the comments. I wanted to add a bass at first.did not work out.. I think its ok without bass. it makes the ending of the song with the big drums (toms) and the low deep voice very welcomed.and every bit of the song I think make sens and has a purpose to fulfill the story.. its not meant to be a pop song or something to play on radio. its more an exercise. I want to remove the vocal and make it an instrumental romantic piece and maybe have it featuring in a independent short film or something.that could be cool thanks for all your comments.. also I dont think she will take it bad. I know we have cultural difference and I dont do it to try get something. I already moved on and its all good. what girl wouldn't love to have a song like this for them.? we live a crazy individualist/selfish and brutal world. why refuse nice free things made of passion? ;)

peace yo

 

so no lovestory? too bad, i go and watch tv

 

haha I dont know. I mean nothing is impossible. but if I really did a good job with the song she might ask me to marry her.but man I dont have money for a persian wedding. if she is ok doing it in my local christian church basement (where they keep clothes and firniture to give away to poor people) and she is willing we order KFC during the celebration with my little 17 years old cousin that will do the DJ with his Iphone on youtube. well its all good ;)

 

Hey guys if you are curious this is the final version of the song. I did some fine tuning. and lowered the drums. did a proper mastering etc.. the girl liked it. she got shocked a bit but in a good way.. so job done.im pretty happy with the song and thanks to all for your feedback. now back at making Heavy Prog DubStep Metal! fuck romantic love songs! haha just kidding ;)

this is the final mix
http://snd.sc/10cvAuZ

 

Haha Majnun Layla.

It's a beautiful gift.

 

Thank you very much my friend. worked hard on this one. wanted to do something as beautiful as I think she is. when words are not enough, music can help! ;)