What type of dad do/did you have? (WARNING DARK HUMOUR IF EASILY OFFENDED DON'T CLICK!)

Discussion in 'humor' started by ( . ) ( . ), Apr 20, 2019.

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What type of dad do/did you have?

  1. Drugged Up Cunt...

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. He touched me alot

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. We Barely Spoke

    4 vote(s)
    28.6%
  4. Deadbeat Motherfucker

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
  5. We were best pals

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. Never stopped working

    3 vote(s)
    21.4%
  7. Never stopped fucking

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
  8. Reclusive Crybaby

    2 vote(s)
    14.3%
  9. Never knew my dad

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  10. He was a kind, good hearted, respectful man...

    3 vote(s)
    21.4%
  11. MY DAD WAS A FUCKING PIMP!

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  12. Sat on the couch all day like a bitch...

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  13. My dad was fatter than my mom...

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  14. Came home drunk everyday...

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
  15. My dad went for a packet of cigarettes and never came back...

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  16. My dad went for a packet of cigarettes and ACTUALLY came back...

    2 vote(s)
    14.3%
  17. He loved us all and took care of us best he could...

    4 vote(s)
    28.6%
  18. All of the Above...

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  19. None of the above...

    1 vote(s)
    7.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. ( . ) ( . )

    ( . ) ( . ) Audiosexual

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    Don't say I didn't warn you :rofl::rofl::rofl:...
     
  2.  
  3. Jaymz

    Jaymz Audiosexual

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    Mine was a good man ! worked hard retired and kept working full time till he past away a few years ago... I am on my way to 50 years old so ive been around awhile lol
     
  4. When my son was around 13, I overheard him telling his friends, “when I was little my dad could make me laugh so much, I’d wet myself.”

    Proudest day of my life.
     
  5. itisntreal

    itisntreal Guest

    I dont have a dead :dunno:
     
  6. phloopy

    phloopy Audiosexual

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    My dad is 89 years now. He has lost hearing, having serious troubles walking and he often falls - it´s not funny to get that old.

    When he was younger, he played the cello and classic guitar, but thats not an option any more.

    What else can I say?? Yeah I love my dad of course and visit him on a weekly basis for a cup of coffie, a cookie and a talk about daily life and life's small obstacles.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2019
  7. DJK

    DJK Rock Star

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    mine was a drunk C....T
     
  8. DarthFader

    DarthFader Audiosexual

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    Mine was a rude, bossy, hot-tempered, arrogant and intolerant skirt chaser. I made myself a vow to be never anything like him.
    I got the f'k away from him as soon as possible. In my early teenage years, I ran away to join the theatre.

    At the age of 35, I suddenly realised that I had totally failed to keep that vow. :unsure:
    That's showbiz, folks. :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2019
  9. G String

    G String Rock Star

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    My dad was a big (professional) success but also a big (personal) failure. A rally driver, a banker, a womaniser and a boozer. Several marriages, a few divorces, an unknown number of (variously abandoned) children. He's very charming but a total cunt.

    I am still amazed that at just seven years old I determined I would not be like him. I succeeded - I am a total failure. :D
     
  10. scrappy

    scrappy Platinum Record

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    Location:
    bowels of the skullery at the court of king boris
    My dad didn't want to be mentioned on t'interwebz...
    now he is.
     
  11. Gizmoz

    Gizmoz Producer

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    I have a dead dad (or a dad dead), but he was not always like that you know.

    ... dead dad .. dad dead dead da dad .... ad libitam (DAW ? DAA AW ? where are you? I found a new tune ....)
     
  12. Tarkus

    Tarkus Producer

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    Mine passed 12 years ago at 85 years old. Joined the military 3 days after Pearl Harbor, was in the Pacific till the end of the war. He came back to New York, raised a family, built houses, strong work ethic, taught me everything I know (about construction) and remained a patriot till his last days. He is missed, always.
     
  13. Xupito

    Xupito Audiosexual

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    My father liked too much drinking and women. Especially women. He died when I was five in a car accident.
    Terrible father but especially terrible husband. Didn't have time to be a terrible father.
    When he died my parents had recently divorced (not legally yet but in practice, separated).

    But there's always a bright side. I was conceived because of my father excessive libido. Back in the day my father didn't want to have more children (my mother did). My mother was not taking anti-conceptives for some health reason, my father said "f*ck the condom" and here I am.

    True history :rofl:
     
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  14. Bump

    Bump Kapellmeister

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    My dad is cool. He provided for us. Worked, played, cool guy. Pretty liberal, if not a lazy disciplinarian But he was a sucker for women and karma bit him good.
     
  15. G String

    G String Rock Star

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    It seems men like women. And booze. But kids not so much.

    :D
     
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