F A R T I C U L A T I O N S

 

farts are the secret stack sauce for bass grit

 

Yes. Be careful. Safety first!

To record farts you really do not need to go too close to the mic or insert it in your anus. Its actually dangerous for the mic aswell because of the juice. If you want to capture the inside sounds of a human anus put a condom over the microphone. Its also way more hygienic if you plan to record vocalists with it aswell in the future.

 

This feels like a gearslutz thread. So many people up their own ass...

 

Coming soon: Season one of The Fart.

 

Again, apologies, that was an awfully horrid photograph.

 

I'm usually layering some saturated low and low/mid farts together with some higher FM synthesis as a finishing touch for growl basses

 

Custom serum fart wavetables perhaps?

 

We all have our special days and reasons Lois Lane - you removed it and that was a good move

Your new picture goes great with donut/coffee

 

I hoped so. Thank's for noticing.

 

Once you've recorded that fart sound and want to layer it onto some drums or a bassline, we've got the perfect tool for you...

https://www.denise.io/store/denise/Noize2

Quickly take out any unnecessary low end (we all know it's going to have some) and shape it around the dynamics of your sounds.

 

Let me add two older (but very nice) VST!

1. Fartburpatron3000 by Necromare. You can find it here:
http://bigcatinstruments.blogspot.com/2016/03/necromare-vsts.html

2. Amusing sounds of the body by Syncersoft. Here:
http://www.vst4free.com/free_vst.php?plugin=Amusing_sounds_of_the_body&id=1148

They are 32bit and working fine with jBridge. Some nice people have recorded their farts and other sounds for us.

 

Saves us money on air freshener...

 

Okay. I have to say, I'm sensing fartism here.
Some of you may be fartist but not realise.
Fartism only breeds social division.
I know back farts matter, but what about front farts? The fanny fart?
This is MAC vs. PC all over again.
Maybe some of you dress up in a robe and cowl, stand in a circle in a field at night, and light your own farts? Or each others? I dunno.
I envisage a united world, where front bottom farts & back bottom farts nestle nicely together in the mix.
Heck, I even know a session musician who can sync both in realtime, so I know we can do it.
We just have to believe.
<cue> Spandau Ballet. "Gold! Always believe in y'alls hole. You've got the power to know" etc...

 

If some of the fartists participating in this thread have kids I may feel a little less bad about my life...