Hope you'd like it. This is just a rough idea. Not proper mixing and mastering. Also the drums will be enhanced in the future version.

First version (Muddy):
https://clyp.it/nk4ikdqt

If you had any criticism about any section, please let me know! Can you think about any lyrics for it?

Edit:
Second version (Modified, Cleaner and Mastered):

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2018

Hey foster911, I'm confused, this sounds like music.
A bit of mixing and enhanced drums? Let's hear it.

 

Thank you so much!
I know this is a terrible shame for me but what can I do?
About the mixing and mastering, after adding the necessary parts, I'll work on it and post it.

 

Niiiiceee Foster! a nicely fleshed out sing that even sounds like a complete journey... Keep it up bro...

 

Thank you so much for the listening though it's not complicated like the jazz dudes do.

I could make more complicated but by increasing the complexity and injecting new ideas in every bar, coherency characteristic decreases noticeably.

 

Complexity for the sake of complexity is a useless proposition... Simple memorable music is the most difficult thing to accomplish...

IMHO of course...

 

Say that to the Zajjers.

 

Like I said... Its just my personal opinion...

Jazz is a different paradigm... Meant to take the listener on a complex layered journey...commiting to the moment...

Pop on the other hand... is more planned...more structured... quicker to digest...

The history of music has many examples of great music from both genres... Its not 1 vs the other...

 

I liked it.
The beginning gave me a distinct impression very different from the rest of the song with its rhythm. I'm not sure the two go together well( just my opinion ok) or maybe a slower rhythm at 50% of what you have there. I would have been happy to use the style of the intro into a full song( maybe there are two versions of this song for you?). The ending is too abrupt, I didn't expect to end when it did.

lyrics- again with the impression I was getting, I was thinking lyrics about a washed up gangster walking the seedy back streets of a city reflecting upon their past( almost "get carter")

sorry if this is not what you are expecting and its not a criticism, but merely the first impression it gives.Either way i still like it( I wouldn't enhance the drums too much in my opinion unless you wanted a stronger rhythm to stand out..)

 

Don't worry, this happened to a lot of people before and stop eventually.

But I forgot to mention, nice tune.

 

file not found



i give up.

 

So grateful for this elaboration.
Maybe in ver3 I'd change some parts to hang together well but for now I just did some modifications to the drums and mixing.

 

Thanks a lot. These are just some simple scores lacking any tradition sense. I need to listen more to different genres for absorbing that atmosphere.

 

I modified the first post.

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2018

my 2 cents... finesse your melodies some more, think more critique for yourself and be more choosy what notes are in your melody.. some could be switched with more pleasing notes I think... then it will come even more together. not my cup of tea but pretty decent I think

 

double post sorry

 

one thing i really hate about this forum is that you can't delete your own post when you make a mistake.

 

this is actually pretty good. you're getting closer to putting together complete pieces that actually go somewhere. keep it up.

 

now I think of jean michel jarre - a washed up musician walking the back streets of Paris !!

strange !, but in a good way
i need to lay off the coffee...

 

Thank you guys for any comment. I'll work at it to produce ver3 with more stylistic elements like vocals, etc. and post it here.

Unfortunately mere scores don't grab much attention in today's pop culture (Beethoven would be proud of his legacy). Music for most listeners means Groove, Bass, Vocals and Harsh sounds (mostly introduced in the 20th century) and I don't know how to adapt myself to them.

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2018