Marriage and Musicians – Should We Even Try?

Discussion in 'Education' started by THENATAN, Oct 21, 2017.

?

“Should musicians really even TRY to marry or maintain a relationship?”

  1. Yes

    58.3%
  2. No

    41.7%
  1. skitzovision

    skitzovision Newbie

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    Love doesn't pay the bills...
     
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  2. SineWave

    SineWave Audiosexual

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    Tell that to all the amateur couples on Pornhub. :rofl:
     
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  3. DarthFader

    DarthFader Audiosexual

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    If she wanted more than 12%, we might have a problem.
     
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  4. GreatJobChamp

    GreatJobChamp Producer

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    THough I haven't found true love I say YES.

    Why:


    1) what if she plays instruments too?... imagine THAT level of blissful existence.

    2) Because I want to discount the world as my figurative enemy... and I'd rather fight that fight with a teammate... since we all need at least one human counterpart, as much as we (me included) would like to say we don't. and this "fight" is nothing more than being able to go home at night and make fun of all the assholes we encounter.

    3) cuz pussy is AMAZING... and combining that with love has got to be beyond comprehension...

    4) imagine the inspiration booster.

    5) maybe cuz I just finished watching some porn I dl'd :D (Jennifer Best and Zarena Summers... that lesbian massage sh1t)
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    as they say, it's better to have loved and lost, then not to have loved at all.

    You can't just marry anyone though.

    Obviously it is a necessity to find someone that is engulfed in self-actualizing behavior... where both of you can be satisfied without constantly having to be together every f'ing second. I am referring to "that" chick who's whole existence is defined by having a boyfriend... and has nothing else in life... AND I am referring to the many, many humans out there that live dull, passionless lives... and have no activity/hobby that drives their every waking moment... which, I would assume we can all agree that we possess... and we can't continue that pursuit with a counterpart that isn't living the same trajectory, albeit different activity-interests (i.e. maybe she/he likes film-making, or cooking, or fuck1ng crocheting, who knows).

    my dos pesos
     
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  5. Rasputin

    Rasputin Platinum Record

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    Well said. The attractive glamour usually wears off and art is seen as competition, not just due to the practical limit of time, effort, resources (vacation money, space in the house) but as a conceptual threat to self-worth and the perception of value where art is seen almost as a mistress.

    I think the trick is finding someone else that has a great passion for something similar and letting each other breathe and fly free, knowing that you'll always land back in the same nest eventually. I think lots of independence and the ability to be separate is necessary for a healthy relationship, but so is the ability to make reasonable concessions at important times. If a person can find someone that wants to have a life WITH them, not ABOUT them then I feel the odds of success are better.

    I think this holds true for anyone driven with passion, not just artists/musicians though. The problem is that being wrapped up in a career is sometimes a bit more tolerated and respected because money is seen as success, whereas a passion for art, hobbies, or less-career oriented pursuits is seen as whimsical daydreaming and something that needs to be "grown out of" eventually. Being obsessed with something that makes you poor is a double-whammy in most relationships.

    Society already judges "unsuccessful" artists, so make sure your romantic partner doesn't fall into that category by finding someone that either champions your pipe-dreams regardless of the chances of you "making it" or shares similar dreams themselves.
     
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  6. Infidel

    Infidel Producer

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    Relationships are the inspiration for the vast majority of music out there. Whether they last 1 hour, 1 night, 1 year, 1 decade or 1 lifetime.
    Most great songs ARE love songs.
     
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  7. No Avenger

    No Avenger Moderator Staff Member

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    Ya all be advised: a divorce can easily be much more expensive than any equipment :yes:

    NEVER, I'd rather move to another apartment.

    That corresponds to my experience. :(

    The people who know me would surely disagree... :hillbilly:

    I wonder where all these magic places are :dunno:
    but I know millions of places where to find my future ex [​IMG]

    That gives me food for thought :unsure:

    Benefit on top!


    The main thing is that you are fine and your wife's got a job [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2017
  8. Herr Durr

    Herr Durr Guest

    This is a song about a group of women who had an interesting pursuit.... namely making plaster casts of rock star cock...

    now there's a lady... !! ummm... :snuffy:


     
  9. emmepicsd

    emmepicsd Member

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    Totally agree!
     
  10. Impressive

    Impressive Guest

    From a man's personal perspective here:

    First off, I see a lot of young people nowadays just rushing into serious relationships like no tomorrow. It's like when they turn 18, the first thing on their mind is "I gotta find love, and get married." It's not that simple. Your early adulthood should be spent mostly not on making something of yourself. Get some establishment, work on your future so you got something lined up and know where you're going in life. It's never too early for this. I've got my future planned out to the year 2063 (my 70th birthday). I'm sure I won't live that long but I've got backup plans for career and stuff. Let's just say none of those plans include making a living off music. Maybe when I retire, and if I'm still physically in shape enough to do music, I'll do music as a full time hobby. But right now, it's just a side hobby that I do to help me get thru life's hardships. I make positive music to help me stay positive in tough situations.
    When you get some of that done, you can look for a soulmate. By then, many of the people you know will also have developed some establishment and made something of themselves.
    When you find the one, make sure you take your time with it. It's like driving a car - the faster you go, the harder you'll crash and burn should you lose control of the vehicle. Slow and steady wins the race. Being in a rush leads to poor hasty decisions and a world of terrible outcomes. Give it a few years, make sure you both know each other. Getting married after a year is still pushing it a little. If you give it say, 3-5 years, you'll both know each others' strengths and weaknesses and you'll be able to put up with one another for a while. If you wanna really get to know them, live with them for maybe 1-2 years. If by then you both think you can take it to the next level, go for it.

    My experience with other musicians on a social standpoint is they tend to have huge egos and think too highly of themselves (Oh I'm totally not guilty of that! *in a sarcasm tone* lol). I tend to not get along as much with other musicians (especially other guitarists) which is why I play multiple instruments - because while I could form a band, I'd spend more time replacing people than anything else. So I aimed to become a band myself, and eventually did. Not saying all musicians have egos, but it seems like the norm nowadays. At least where I come from.
    I once took music classes in high school - and my classmates were usually very weird people who looked down at anyone who was different from them in any way. I was the ultimate outcast, so as you can imagine I wasn't treated very well by them. In college, I took audio engineering classes. While some admired my skills and musical potential, the other musician kids were not much different from the ones in high school. In the real world, some of the people who treated me the worst were in fact, other musicians.
    -A couple of years ago, I once fell for a girl who was a singer. She had a gorgeous smile and she was perfectly imperfect for me. For a little while, I thought our hearts were destined to beat as one. I was damn near convinced she was the one. After a couple of months of sitting around, singing along to our favorite songs and watching the world die as the summer sun dipped into the horizon and the moon rose its glowing head over my town once again, she confessed that I was all she thinks about and we said our goodnights. We built a tall tower towards a love that was soon to be. But things took a strange turn causing it all to crumble to the ground when her jealous ex didn't like where we were going with it. He was a (actually pretty talented guitarist). He didn't even know who I was. But he told her made up stories about me that eventually made her hate me. And when I tried to tell her it was not true, she continued to shut me out. She cut all ties with me... blocked me on facebook, blocked my phone number, her last words to me was "Go die in a hole somewhere". Summer died and so did my faith in everything for a little while. The snow came down and I felt like a stranger on the ground. No one had ever made me feel half as horrible in my life as she and her ex did. To be honest, I don't think anyone ever will.

    That was the only experience I had with getting intimate with another musician.

    Long story short, if it's meant to be, it'll be. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Whether you're a musician or some other career, everyone's got at least a few demons. The key is to find someone whose demons play well with yours. :shalom:
     
  11. SineWave

    SineWave Audiosexual

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    I feel you bro. Nicely said. :hug: And the whole post, too, of course. :wink:
     
  12. Peppe

    Peppe Member

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    Your music can only get better from strong experiences. Love and commitment are two very strong and deep experiences that will boost your musical creativity 100%. Don't be afraid to do it, but do it right: Always be honest.
     
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  13. Menorah

    Menorah Producer

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    Does this, over time, cause an excess of "routine" and roughness? I have always seen it as a bad way for a couple (husbands or boyfriends) to work together, because there is little room for the personal and you are always depending on each other.

    But it's good to know the opinion of others.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2017
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  14. rickking

    rickking Member

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    For me, there is almost nothing more important than my wife in my life! (God is the other MORE important factor) Her and our children gives me a endless source of inspiration and support without which I would be a basket case!
     
  15. fiction

    fiction Audiosexual

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    For a too long time in my life I thought that's how it's supposed to be.
    I had to learn.
    What you describe above sounds like perfect harmony, peace and understanding.
    I'd like to ask you: Do you really think that will make a girl's heart get passionate and turned on just when she sees you?
    Don't you think that her ex triggered exactly that in her, although she might have always told you that seen from a reasonable standpoint, he was a "bad guy" and not good for her?
    This subject to me is more important than anything, even over common interests and preferences.
    Sure, it helps tremendously if both have somewhat matching expectations about how to spend everyday life, but it also helps a lot if there are enough tiny differences to keep the fun and excitement in the relationship.
    "Women want to be led" sounds like another outdated grandfather's saying, but watching what happens around me, I find that hard to disprove. Really.
     
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  16. Impressive

    Impressive Guest

    No, you're actually right.
    Keep in mind, this was a few years ago. I was still a younger lad (19-20 years old) who was still trying to learn those things. I didn't think all that at the time, but to be honest, I learned all those things quickly after. What you're telling me now is nothing I don't already know. But back then at the time I was going through that whole thing, I would have laughed at your comment and you probably would have laughed at me LOL. Some learn these things rather early but I was a bit of a late bloomer in this regard. But hey, better late than never. I'd rather learn life's lessons from personal experiences than lectures. Because at least then, I have a much better understanding of it. Someone could tell me the cure to cancer and then die and I would forget about it by the following morning. I learn by experience, not words. And I think a lot of people do. Which is why a lot of kids nowadays don't learn squat in school - because they sit at a desk and listen to a teacher talk all day and they don't accumulate the knowledge as needed.
    You gotta get thru bad relationships to get to the good ones. Bad relationships can either mend you or break you in terms of future ones... it's really all how you look at it. You can realize where you were right, where you were wrong, and what you can do to make the next one better. It's experience. We all have these bad relationship experiences but unfortunately we don't all learn from them. :)
     
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  17. Pinkman

    Pinkman Audiosexual

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    Is there no greater joy than finding another soul who loves you?
    Then jams with you?
    Then f*cks you?
     
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  18. SineWave

    SineWave Audiosexual

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    But sadly it's quite hard to find someone like that, in my +30y of experience. :sad: Not impossible, though. My wife is pretty close and I'm really happy with her, after having a plethora of crap and less crap relationships. It all depends on the person... some people are just never satisfied with anything, but if you can cope with break-ups and hook-ups it can be a really great source of inspiration. Albeit, I don't like writing love songs. :)
     
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  19. BIG-BOSS

    BIG-BOSS Noisemaker

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    dont bother

    Art always comes first

    pussy later

    know your priorites
     
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  20. No Avenger

    No Avenger Moderator Staff Member

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    Jamming is overrated [​IMG]
     
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