And What Do You Think? ;)

 

Оne of you need to make money so NO

 

Yep. Marry your Agent and keep the money in the family.

 

well... she will learn in time.. and come to understand.... ( nah )

​

 

Yes, as long as you have another career on the side that isn't music. If I relied entirely on music, I'd be homeless and possibly dead from starvation because I don't make shit from it lol.

 

a human being cannot function healthy without meeting their requirements of the way people work physically , emotionally, and psychologically.
one of those things we have no choice about is healthy intimate relationships.
100 percent of people that deny that from their life are left with an empty feeling and despair nothing else can fix or fill the emptiness.
(image a broken hard drive in a computer and the tech puts in new ram to remedy it instead of fixing what is brohen)

we have no choice but to deal with human beings the way they actually work in reality.( we are social species
)
now marriage has nothing to do with any of this, that is a cultural thing. depending on the person.
if marriage can seemingly benefit your healthy relationship go for it. it is just piece of paper and cultural thought process. ( could be good or bad depending on the people)
just like we need food to survive, we need healthy relationships with other people to survive ( or have mental illness, violence and possibly commit suicide type things happen when any of our requirements go unmet in long-term lifestyle)

 

Last edited: Oct 22, 2017

if she ( or he ) try to emotionally blackmail you because of music, leave the relationship, because even in the case you'd stop, she (or he) would find another motive to have power over you

being in couple with someone in the same field ( musicians together ) is not always a good option also because of ego

if you're in it for the money, so let's not even discuss this

it takes a lot of love, two spiritually mature humans and willing to evolve in trust over pain to make a relationship work, so... good luck

 

next interesting poll to see if this actually works... how many are married, or in a relationship, and spending all the time
( and space, and money ) they want on their music hobby, passion, pastime, what have you.... just a thought...

just saw an ad recently where the guy was selling all his gear.. because.. his "wife wants her room back! "

cheers

 

Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2017

Good point!
Speaking from a man's perspective: Take your time before you marry, at least a few years are imho needed until you know your pal well enough, you survived all kinds of situations, and you know how much both really care for each other.
If she wants her room back, either know how to refuse and continue to follow your musical passion, or quit the relationship.
Sell all my gear? Never.
Sell some of it? Maybe. Let's talk about it
Women tend to accept some of your "rough edges" at first, in order to keep you happy, until they notice that in fact they can't stand them in the long run.
It's your job to find out before you marry her.

 

It's a bit of a silly question, seeing as musicians are quite normal people with the same basic needs as everybody else. And most of them do get married and start families.

Anyway, musician or not, if you live your whole life without starting your own family, chances are good you will regret it every single day of your sunset years...... But each to his own ;)

 

Last edited: Oct 22, 2017

It is important to try because we (probably) only live once and it would be a shame to have missed the oppurtunity to at least try (a relationship/marriage or becoming a pickup artist).

There should be no problem with being a musician or music lover (maybe there are less audiosexual women than men but instead there are lots of women playing instruments in every country and social stratum) and someone once calculated that there are at least 30000 100% matches on the planet for every person if we only get out there and search for them instead of waiting that they find us

 

Just make sure to bury some money on your uncle`s farm If you live in USA bury one stash on your aunts farm as well.

 

imho no need to marry her - you can be together just fine as is.

"DO" music, instead of a half-hearted "TRY"

 

Me and my wife work together. That helps immensely. The most important thing in any relationship is accountability. That means setting up and accomplishing "MEANINGFUL and TANGIBLE" goals. Don't try to sell him/her in bullshit. It's no different than being an investment banker and you lying about what happened to the savings instead of keeping your partner involved in every step of the way.

 

What if your aunt is your agent?
Thats pretty normal in India so dont judge me, lol.

 

Last edited by a moderator: Oct 22, 2017

The concept of marriage is one of great hopes and great promises. It also means to intermesh two lives on a core level. If that doesn't work out, mostly because people are constantly evolving or changing, the process of separation is often extremely difficult and costly at all imaginable aspects.
Therefore, in today's days, where divorce rates are high (in my country about 50 %), and where "wild" cohabitation isn't a social disadvantage anymore since decades, marriage is basically something that should be doubted. questioned and handled extremely careful as an option. Even with present or expected children.
I've seen a lot of marriages failing because of a misunderstanding of a mutual ownership. A previously good working relationship went down because one partner (immediately after marriage) thought he/she owns the other, who didn'tn have that specific understanding of what a marriage should be. Also, many people don't have a clue what a marriage means legally, with all legal consequences (and they are heavy, believe me).
Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful to marry someone you love. But it's not necessary, and it could bring down a loving partnership solylely, for instance, with an additional contract for separation of property (which should be worked out by all means).

 

i told my wife 20 years ago that she must know before we marry that music is my life and nothing could stop me from making music when i want. she was very supportive and is still today . 20 years marriage and a son of 15 , music is never been an issue, only when i have a performance or dj set outside the country , she can act bit worried that i will have too much girl attention :D but that is all

 

My wife is a musician too. So no problem at all. She wastes more time in our rehearsal/live room than i do. Ok i have to admit she works there as a vocal coach so she is not really wasting time. Wasting time with music without getting a good amount of money for it is my part.

 

I don't mean to disagree, but musicians are not the normal type, at least, not most of us. Our sensitivity to art in some degree separates us from the common. Of course, headliners and front people (singers, gigging DJs, solo artists) seem to be even more difficult people than, say, backing band musicians, but we all suffer from this kind of uncomprehended, close-to-insanity vibe around us. That being said, I don't know if it happens to you, but I tend to get really focused, like if I'm in a project or in my creative mind, I could go for hours without sleep, hunger, or bathroom call. Partners don't like that. It may seem "cool" at the start of the relationship in the likes of "He/She's so driven, a.k.a husband/wife material," but then it stops being cool and it wears out once they realize that in our hearts (or at least in mine) doing things is a higher priority than being a partner to someone else.

It's all about honesty with oneself. When I was in my 20s I really wanted to be a regular guy with a 9-to-5 and dreaming of wife and kids. I'd always felt uncomfortable being different. I did get married at age 28 and divorced five years later. What changed? I realized I'd never be the regular guy. I'm selfish and I care more about myself than others in a relationship. I'm committed to music, and I love it. That's what gets me going. Relationships have always come second and girlfriends don't like the concept, so I'm destined to die alone with my basses and without any cats. Maybe I'm broken beyond fix, but ever since I divorced, I've been in unhealthy relationships so that I always have one foot on the door. That's alright. If anyone of you feels that you are truly ready to commit to the contract of being devotedly married to someone else, go for it. Luckily, they'll understand your artistic demons inside and help you find a way to vent out and keep your sanity. As for me, I got married to music. I hope I can make a good woman out of the music I make.