Stupid title for a track but I did this the morning I woke up (about 3 weeks ago) and my car was stolen, after 4 days it was recovered but well, I continued it...

Been reading you guys for a while, would be good have some feedback. I feel like it needs something else in the drop, is nice to hear some brutal thoughts about your track

 

Last edited: Jun 23, 2017

Gonna be hard for anyone to say something too brutal after reading what happened to your car. But you're in luck, cuz I have no problem being a complete ass.

Your break is not really working for me. In EDM, normally the break is where you give the crowd a brief rest right before you start building up the energy again and then hit them with your best shot. Your break is really busy and reminds me of a Jazz solo. There's too much going on for my taste. And your drop is lacking that "oomph." Everything was supposed to be leading up to this moment, but it wasn't climactic enough. I can tell you ran out of ideas.

I would redo the break and make it less busy. A more chill vibe will provide nice contrast to the climax. And as for the drop, well now that's the big dilemma all EDM producers face, isn't it? I don't know if there's an easy solution for that. Just remember that everything you're doing is building anticipation for the drop. What do you think people want to hear? What emotion(s) do you want people to feel? What tools do you have in your bag of tricks that will make a crowd go nuts? Trying to answer these questions might give you a clue.

 

I like it! And who says it has to sound like a typical EDM track?
Although I agree with flyingsleeves in that starting from 1:08, things get a bit too busy and you might do better in just keeping the chord pad only and re-do the rest. Try adding one instrument only, and play around with lots of different ones until you find one you really like. Then experiment more with melody and rhythm. Don't just add instruments for being there.

 

Even when you lost yo' ride homes... Bruce said he gonna jeet koon doo doo all ova yo' track anyway ..
I know it's summer now.. but dam dats cold

@flyingsleeves
why u doo that Bruce... you even scared the man off soundcloud... don't go around devastatin' like dat..
some people can't take it mang..

 

Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2017

hahah it was an interesting reaction flyingsleeves
the speed that I played the bass notes in the beginning compared to the melody notes in the break, could be making it to busy. I have in mind that the listener deserves some calm moments before the drop. I will be working on that. In the first moment was all about adding stuff to make it full, maybe it's time to some subtractive arrangement.

As fiction said, will keep the pad and maybe re-do the rest, the melody notes are maybe too fast.

 

lol sorry about that, I uploaded it privately, if you go direct to the profile it won't show up. only if you play here. But now it's in public mode.

 

@jordan77 sounds like you didn't miss that car too much.. pretty upbeat...

I guess my ears aren't sharp enough to criticize it at a granular level.. suppose it could do with some polishing..
but then I like it gritty too...

extend ..add some complexity/variance.. release.. ??? PROFIT

 

It's not edm, it's more like synthwave. So if it should have been edm it's a fail, but you cannot call something a fail that's not edm because edm is the definition of fail, lol.
Yeah, but the break. What is off to me is the chord progression. You're almost going atonal here, @jordan77 , it doesn't work for me.

 

I think much of the stuff I'd criticise about the track is addressed by the track -"omg u need 2 change that horrible bass!" Just as u change that bass. I think the only things rly are that it's a bit too nice and polite, it needs to have a lot more dirty filth in it, for me. It does sound quite like smthn Daft Punk would release, I dunno if that was the intent?

Yeah, that's fair. Also debonair.

 

Many years ago I once drove my old car to a place in the nowhere (200km away), to buy something from a privat advertisment. Halfway I heared a metallic rumbling and knocking, a sudden cracking sound followed. Then my car stopped doing anything. I was all alone in the wilderness. It was cold and rainy. Clearly shocked, helpless and pissed off I used an emergency phone to call the towing service. An older guy came with a lorry, and after some inspections he told me its all over. My car had a piston jamming. (Kolbenfresser in german)

He picked me up and brought me and my car to his workshop - even deeper in the wilderness. I guess if he would have wanted to kill me, no one ever would have heared my screams or would have found my corpse there later. I had absolutely no idea where i was. His workschop also seemed like a junkyard from 1950. And the old man seemed grumpy and ill-humored.
But surprisingly it turnt out he was nice. He even made me tea. Later I sat in my dead car and remembered all the things happened in here: music, fun, drugs, sex, special moments and lovely encounters. It was one of the saddest moments in my life, because everything around me fitted perfectly in this scenery. All alone and surrounded by many other dead cars I gathered my personal things in a bag. I was cold, the raindrops made their random sounds on the roof of my car. Than I really cried. The only warm thing I had was the tea the old man gave me and wich I held in my hands.

End of the story was. He later let me call my insurance. It was weekend, so I had to wait until they had managed to organize a replacement car. Until deep in the night I waited with the old man in his rotten car workshop. He gave me comfort. He made me even canned ravioli and told me how much it costs to replace the engine and that it would be much more expensive than buying a new car. Then i said good bye to him and my loved car. Neither him or it i ever saw again.

And strangely some days ago I thought how it would be to make a song about how I once lost my car all of a sudden. Now I read this and listened to jordan77's song, wondering how undramatic it sounds. If i close my eyes and listen to it, I see you still driving your stolen car, remembering the grooving moments and tours you had with it. Very impressive. If I close my eyes again and imagine how my song would sound, all I hear is drama, sadness and loss. I find it pretty interesting how different people interpret certain things. And thats the thing what makes everything so variegated. Thank you. I like it.

 

100 km into the wilderness in Germany? There is no such place in Germany

 

Yeah, in Germany you wont find really wilderness like in the USA. Thats right. Solitude would fit better. It happened from Cologne towards Sundern. And believe me, there was nothing! For my younger me the "Ruhrpott" was just a crazy fragmented area with lots of wilderness, some industry and a swarm of tiny cities (villages). The old guy later drove me to the Dortmund Airport where i finally got a replacement car and a way home. That really was a haunting adventure.

But thats off topic! Jordan77's song should be discussed.

"Ähm ... hüstel", I guess, i just decrypted your user name by chance. LOL

 

wow what a adventure, I hope you have a better car now. Mine dnd't have insurance but it was recovered by police so I have it back but with horrible wheels. It's my first car.
I guess when I started producing this I focused about how much this car took me to places, to work, trips... many stuff... so I think that is the reason there is no sad parts in this track. Before the break there is 2 chords and after, 3 chords and thats it, I tried to focus more on the bass and melody than the chords itself. I compose everything first in the piano and make changes as I go. Thanks for your comment