A couple months ago I uploaded another song like this, but this version I changed instruments, changed the chorus, added instruments, and added another verse. I would really like feedback, either lyrical wise or instrumental wise

 

I absolutely cannot stand gangster-speak.

 

what are you talking about?

 

The Texture is cool. But you need to clock/sync your vocal tracks better if you want to double track, ad lib, and be heavily wet with saturation, delay, and reverb. You gotta have good timing to freak the beat when you rap. Otherwise, you need to use an audio quantization tool. Remember.. the vocals are coherent enough to you because it's you.. but others will have to listen harder to know what you're saying half the time. You need to get in a zone that's rhythmically on point when you rap. Or again, you'll need a quantization tool, or to use a gate for your main lead to trigger your overdubs. The music track has a pleasant color, but the vocal has clock issues and over-saturated to a degree. Best of luck with it.

 

I think Ponstory Games meant the lyrics.

The vocals sounds clean and cool, but the instrumental, specially low end needs more work. The piano is too simple in my opinion. The low frequencies sound a lot better after 04:06 than the beginning. Also I think there is some samples needing quantization.

 

people have told me i need to be in rhythm, but when you say, "but others will have to listen harder to know what you're saying half the time.but others will have to listen harder to know what you're saying half the time." is it the meaning of the words or is it that can't hear what im saying?

 

ok i will work on the bass a bit more on my next song, the next song should be good this time im working in a professional studio haha. But my lyrics isnt gansta at all, so i still dont know what he means :?

 

I mean word for word. The listeners will struggle to make out a lot of your individual words. Always use a friend who's tipsy as a reference to play back your songs to check for audibility. When a club full of folks can catch every word.. mission accomplished. And if not, it means you're depending strictly on the music and the hook alone to hopefully reel them in.

 

Last edited: Jun 22, 2017

As far as that "gangster speak" reply up top.. that's some unneeded stereotypical nonsense. One thing that IS clear.. the lyrics are an apologetic spill to a woman. I didn't hear anything gangster about it. That's like calling every country singer a racist if they have a southern accent.. it's nonsense. Ponstory Games, you should run a check on that. This is Audiosex. I rarely see people coming with the YouTube type insults here.

 

Last edited: Jun 22, 2017

I dunno, i think the only incoherent parts are rly when there's weird delay shit going on. Which is too much & all teh time =( it's all fairly understandable, tho. I liked teh dissing of Marshall Mathers :D that never gets old...

This was the main issue w/ the track, for me. Also soundspace is borked.

I dunno if it's "stereotypical", it's difficult to stereotype someone's background from their idiom & grammar? Not that I wanna stick up for anyone on teh interwebs, but @Ponstory Games or whoever doesn't seem liek a narcissist douchebag, which is moar than can be said for most ppl (anyone) on YouTube...

 

I'm not trying to be mean. I love how nice everyone is on Audiosex and Audioz, and I'd hate to pollute the atmosphere. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but that really is just how I feel about the delivery of these lyrics. All genres of music are interesting to me, but that way of talking/singing grates on my ears (the slurred speech and jumbled up grammar). Even if I got used to it, I still don't think I'd be able to embrace it. When I hear lyrics I like, I want to be able to sing them without sounding like a gangster.

Best of luck on your song, dude. I know everyone here will give you good advice on how to make it better. You obviously put a lot of work into it, and I at least like the honesty in your delivery.

 

Cool track, nice beat and vocal! If you're open I've got some thoughts (however this track might be worth getting pro mixed). I agree with everyone as per the vocal having an echo delay that's too cluttering. I'd try to have the delay come on only at the end of a few key phrases as a nice effect and would also definitely decrease the feedback (maybe so you barely hear like 3 repeats) and roll-off some of the high end on the delay. I might also try turning down the vox overdub and rolling off some of the high end frequencies so that your lead cuts through but the overdub thickens things up a little (which is what I think your using the dub for?). I really like how the lead slides slightly off, this might cause some difficulty with getting the overdub to line up in which case maybe try taking out the constant overdub and just pepper it to come in on the stereo sides to emphasize key lyrics. Some compression tips from youtube could help smooth and thicken out the lead. There are these really cool parts where the vocal changes cadence and does a rhythmic thing which might be cool if you can lay a couple overdub takes (at least) in different pitches that are fanned out on each side to give a wide chorus effect (might try rolling off some of the high's on the side dubs as well). Last thing, its hard for me to tell (listening on headphones) but there might be some phase issues at certain parts so I'd double check the song in mono for any tinny sounds or if any low's disappear. Hope you'll excuse the lengthy suggestions but I really dig your track and was inspired!

 

word! lol. I had many funny mishearings like "lasagna in my hand".
But apart from it, I like it! Especially the last minute or so, it really starts to develop into the right direction there.

 

Put a strings or similar in the background to fill the empty-lonely-universe feeling,,, otherwise vocal is good, music is nothing special, it's just normal,,,

 

ok i get you, you saying that I need to pronounce my words better. I'm not mad or nothing i just got confused when you say gangster-speak, because when i think of that I think of trap music. But i do agree I need to pronounciate my words more clearly

 

lol which part was it that sounded like "lasagna in my hand"

I remember I had phase issues when I tried to space out my vocals using the Haas effect, but I turned them back when I couldn't fix it. The only part I would say that might have phase issues are the chorus, but I only kept it because I thought you could barely hear it. ill listen to it in a car to see if it's noticeable

 

Solid production. One thing I noticed:

The low frequency of the 808, kick and low end of your voice could benefit from tweaking to achieve more clarity/destiction of the vocal.

 

Nice work! I will admit, not really my type of music, but I think it is a good song and sounds pretty good. Vocals could be a little tighter, but I don't think they are that bad. Maybe a little too much fx on them... reverb/delay, but then again, I kinda like it.

Well done!

 

open your project solo your vocals, now create a drum that hits exactly where each word syllables are now mute your vocal and have the beat with the drum you made, do you hear parts "out of time?"
open your project now create a piano track that matches each note that your voice hits. mute the vocal and listen to the beat with the piano you created, is the notes the right notes that you want?
all vocals and singing rapping etc. have to be as good as a solo instrument would be as far as how it would be able to fit, ( then the vocals lyrics rapping has to transcend that great instrument by having great words and meaning)storytelling which has a beginning middle and end
when these parts of the puzzle come together you will be all done.
apply this to what you already able to do, you will be a master.
(both these techniques are standard in the music game , techniques that successful icons use, whether Jay-Z, eminem, dr. dre etc. they all used what I have described to you just now. i hope it is something you can get the most out of friend.

 

Last edited: Jun 22, 2017

hey hey, solid effort here comments: drums more upfront; thicken the kick and brighten the snare (put these on different tracks for processing if you haven't already), verse 808 hits sound flimsy, tighten the rap on the corners (some parts sound shoe-horned and take me out of the track) and your chorus sample is kind of obvious Keep at it though, good contemporary sound