This one goes out to @Moogerfooger.

 

Myth or fact:
Shit the bed while having sex is like spoil the good mix while mastering.

 

I am neither confirming nor denying, though I will admit that the older I get, the less I trust a fart.

 

Not a bed, but when my life seemed to involve partying from Friday to Sunday and only feeling 'normal' on a Thursday (from the summer of 1988 until just after Xmas 1991). There was an incident in a bath that involved a hell of a lot of cleaning of both the bath and me. Will omit the gory details, it was a wake up call that perhaps I should modify my lifestyle somewhat. I suppose it was a blessing in disguise in some ways, it could have been a whole lot worse, at least I was alone and everything was cleaned without a trace of it ever happening. Wouldn't change those 3 years for anything though, loved it while it lasted.

 

sneaky bastards those wet farts, eh? you open the door, you let it out and another day wet fart's best friend poo follows. too late for regrets, romance is in the air, you drop those grandma's panties you wearin' and book a meeting with a washing machine. swell.

 

Not if you have explosive diarrhea... Ain't nuttin' gonna stop DAT shit. (Not speaking from experience)

 

Funny how an early morning random thought can turn into such a dank thread....

 

"Funny how an early morning random thought can turn into such a dank thread...."

come on, be honest, it's an early morning personal experience, right ?

 

OK. I didn't really expect this thread to even get 2 views. But if we're gonna go there. I'll add to the storyline... When I was in elementary school - 8-10 years old maybe - I had the flu. I remember vomiting in bed & I shat myself while heaving. Straight up runs... Man that sucked.

 

But the worst experience I ever had was when I first moved to New York City. I was still in the honeymoon phase with getting to know Manhattan & I decided to explore Central Park. I took several bottles of water & drank them fairly quickly. About 2 hours into walking through I suddenly had to piss. I'm a typical guy & hold everything in until the second you gotta go. I figured ok, find a restroom. There's gotta be tons of them, I mean its central park. Well, unfortunately I couldn't find one. I tried so hard to not let it go & even thought about jumping behind a large boulder, but there were just too many people around. I never had pissed myself in my entire life & here I am 21 years old pissing my jeans... The 2 mile walk back to my apartment - where security had to check me in - was dreadful!!!

 

Raising my foot... I'm raising my foot... You feel that beat? It's groovy. Farts can be musical. Ask Mozart.

Man, every time this thread bumps, I lift my buttock slightly and by all means salute this motherfather properly.

Great thread. You come to the forum, you open the thread, shit hits the fan. Classic.

 

Last edited: Apr 5, 2017

Perhaps you should try adult diapers.

Warning...this is kinda gross, but I couldn't resist. The thread topic reminded me of this scene from The Visit by M. Night Shyamalan. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Spoiler

 

Shit the bed, shit the bed,
I resurrect this thread,
Shit the bed, shit the bed,
Necroing a shit thread

I told you, farts and shit can be musical. I mean, Mozart used to write his cousin and mother letters about... well, just look it up.

Ok, here's a snippet of Mozart's "other" activity. Great Amadeus takes no prisoners here.

"Yesterday, though, we heard the king of farts/ It smelled as sweet as honey tarts / While it wasn't in the strongest of voice/ It still came on as a powerful noise."

"I now wish you goodnight, shit in your bed with all your might, sleep with peace on your mind and try to kiss your own behind".

All written to his dear mother. Oh Wolfgang... just what an absolutely sweet, sweet son.

And to finally sum it up, add insult to injury and put the last nail in the coffin...

The same genius that wrote "Requiem" also wrote a gem called "Lick My Ass," a classical party ballad meant to be sung by six people at a time, and followed it up with a sequel called "Lick My Ass Nice and Clean," the lyrics of which we have included below:

Lick my ass nicely, lick it nice and clean, nice and clean, lick my ass. That's a greasy desire, nicely buttered, like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity. Three will lick more than two, come on, just try it, and lick, lick, lick. Everybody lick his own ass himself.​

 

Last edited: Apr 23, 2017

didnt even happen when i got f'ed in the A by gf's (proper preparation and cleaning is crucial)

 

Sounds like the NYC council have failed to do their job.
I mean, it's a modern city, yet you have a hard time finding a place for one of the most basic human desires?
But that's not only NYC, it has become common for many cities to prohibit peeing in the public (which I can mostly understand) without offering enough alternatives that really work.