Hi guys

I get shaky hands when eating/drinking in front of people due to some anxiety problem i don't quite understand.
Home when I'm calm and home alone I don't have this problem.

Any advice? except medication, don't want to get into that

Thanks

 

Since forever? If so, you may need to (at least) talk to a pro. If is just since months or couple of years, what I would do is to get out more - both alone and with friends, take deep breaths and try to calm down the anxiety. Try with alcohol - just a beer, a glass of wine or a shot of tequila. As in making music, experiment with things Cheers!

 

it started happening from a young age...i think one day i had to visit a friend and i noticed when i had to eat with his family i felt really uncomfortable and shaky...

yes i noticed beer did help one time i went out with a friend, i noticed my hands were more stable under that influence...i just don't want to resort to that i feel like am cheating myself and I might be overdoing it at the end.

 

Let us understand. Only in these situations OR also in others when you're surrounded by people?

May be interesting to read for you @
http://tinyurl.com/qg4btfw
"It's called Essential Tremors or ET. Ask your doctor about it."
________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Interesting a buddhist view. I think this view has to be practised as you are absolutely right
you have to look at other peoples suffering and this reduces your own. Practice makes
perfect and I am practicing its just sometimes I lose sight and remember my own suffering."

 

only when i know they can stare at me pretty easily....if they have their backs turned on me i'm not affected of course
as long i can focus entirely on myself without worrying about others being able to view me i'm fine.

essential tremors is something else i think as they happen even when you're home alone...

when i'm home alone i don't worry that my hands will shake or anything as I'm very calm when i'm alone. it just happens when i'm in public...so i think its mostly due to some sort of stage fright like musicians get when they are on stage

 

Mate - you seem to be getting hyper-aware of social situations!

A lot of people use alcohol as a balm for social (and other forms of) anxiety. The down-side is that it's usually habbit forming and can lead to more destructive levels of consumption.

Anxiety is a natural part of life but when it becomes debilitating to the point of not letting you do what you want/need to do, it's a disorder. G.A.D. or General Anxiety Disorder is more common than you think.

On the pharmaceutical side - there's the famous 'Xanax' and others - a Benzodiazapine class of tranquiliser, which has been used and abused over time. They are often addictive and can lead down a slippery-slope of dependancy. Some poor souls have used it to take their own life! There's also a variety of Antidepressant 'SSRI' (Selective Serotonic Reuptake Inhibitor) drugs.

On the natural therapy side - a Naturopath would consider things like the level of brain neurotransmitters: GABBA and Serotonin. These s transmitters are key in determining our mood, motivation and anxiety levels etc. A deficiency of these can lead to depression, GAD (above), panic attacks etc. Lifestyle factors affect our levels of these including diet, condition of the gut (where serotonin is produced), amount of sleep. The cliche's of alcohol and stimulants such as caffeine are detrimental to our gut and therefore affect the levels of serotonin we can produce.

There are a few essential pre-cursor nutriants for the production of GABA and serotonin. Mainly Zinc, Magnesium, P5P (Pyridoxal-5-Phosphate), Glutamine, as well as vitams B6, C. Also eating quality protein in the diet is a key pre-cursor. Supplementing with good quality forms of all -these nutrients are usually incorporated into a treatment program for stress, anxiety and low mood. By protein I don't mean hot-dogs or macca's!

A typical Western GP Doctor would simply prescribe a tranquiliser or SSRI and say "take these and try to get good sleep". But this is only a band aide solution to patch over' the symptoms without finding the cause (which can be many overlapping).

If you can - go to a good health food sore which supply vitamin & mineral supplements, preferably one that has a Naturopath staff available to consult with, and mention the above nutrients I highlighted. You'll find a Naturopath to be very empathetic of your situation/condition/concerns and helpful in explaining any background biochemistry if you want to know about. It takes them a 3~4 year Degree or Diploma to learn how our bodies work ;-)

I'm just a lay person who is travelling my own journey of anxiety/depression and have been lucky to know some very smart doctors and health practitioners who are practice 'wellness' not 'sickness'. They're passionate about finding the root causes of illness and correcting these to improve wellness. I've done a lot of reading to learn about brain chemistry and why we feel what we feel.

Hope this helps.

 

thank you for this detailed answer Dalmation and for going over the natural method as well as thats what i'm considering.

I think these will help me get better with my body and might help me...

there's something wrong with me and grown ups..
I mean...if a baby is looking at me i have no fear at all of course.
But if i determine they understand my behaviour...from a small age like 10+ then i am affected and would probably avoid raising the glass to drink as it creates fear for me and causes me to shake

 

You should really try working out - light weight lifting and 30-45 min of cardio (eliptical machine, or light jogging) finish up with a sauna or steam room for 5-10 min, then cold shower - 3-4 times per week. Get a gym membership. Start drinking only selter water, and fruits, vegetables, rice, fish, chicken. Exercise 3-4 times per week for 1-1.5 hours will get you back to normal after you maintain the schedule for about 1 month. Sounds like you have "volcanic pressure" (haha) that needs to be released, and this will do it. Hell, it'll make you more focused and confident when producing and mixing too. Give it a shot. Get a gym membership and force yourself to go. Get in your car, pull into gym parking lot, walk in, change, lock up your s***, walk to the cardio machine - do it - then do some muscle exercises on machines or free weights. And, you'll be around people at the same time. Just do it.....you can do it.

 

See a psychotherapist, pal (not a psychiatrist).
No meds, just talking and getting to the bottom of it.

Don't seek your diagnosis on the net. Obviously we're all a bunch of know-it-alls, well-meaning, but still.
If you feel that this is an issue, seek professional help.

 

Also, meditation and martial arts(not savages stuff) or between, Iaido, taichi and Qi qong can help breathing and making you part of a group of people, to work on self-confidence and master fear-of-other.
More important, avoid medication or alcohol, if you use it this way, nothing good will happen.
Training is the only thing will never betrays you.

 

I feel for ya. Been there myelf. Drugs (both prescribed pharmaceuticals and illicits) and alcohol are not the solution; not "gateways" to better social adjustment and self-assurance. Therapists can be risky, because one never knows when one is putting one's confidence in a certified asshole. As I said, been there myself. I don't know you personally, so I can't advise you personally, but the only thing that "cured" me of social anxiety was living, putting myself into real life, and sometimes getting my ass kicked (more often figuratively than literally). Severe, protracted humiliation can ironically be the best thing for one's self-esteem. Having lived through what would have killed most people 10 times is enough to bolster it.

I can tell you this: if you really look at other people, you'll see how most are actually rather neurotic and anxious, even afraid that they'll be found out to be "less than" the faces they put on to the world. (That I see getting worse all the time, as our society depersonalizes us to one another, and unto ourselves.)

Eventually, though, I realized that I may be the most "flawed" person I know, but I'm certainly not the most full-of-shit. I also came to the point where my attitude is, "I don't want to deal with anyone who doesn't respect me, anyway. If they like me, they like me; if they don't, then it's their loss." The imaginary, even invisible, standards up to which my social anxiety told me I had to measure were/are so arbitrary and cruelly unrealistic.

What you may not realize is that you're already on your way.

 

be VERY VERY VERY careful with that alcohol mate!!!

I got SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hooked on pharmaceutical meds man... LOVED the xanax, klonopin, ativan and valiums most... even more than oxy's... smoked weed absolutely every single day at least 3X per day for like 15 years... all which started off as a way to NOT be full of anxiety.... The very first reply was good... you need to talk to someone to get some cognitive therapy goin... stuff that will require mind exercises but ARE VERYYYYY real... you really should do yoga and shit... some hardcore "eastern wisdom" is where its at... if you do not believe in any "mind-body" stuff... you HAVE NO idea... that stuff is as real as the sun that shines each day... as real as the ground you walk on... people, "masters" of that stuff, can do CRAZY things to their own bodies purely from using their mind... then you got the chakras and all that insanity... but seriously, dont mess with drugs EVER really... if I could go back in time and never try anything, I would... fuck the drugs man... I am unbelievably luck to not be dead, LET ALONE, to be able to enjoy music again... completely free from drugs.... well... caffeine is HUGE... i take 2 tablets X 200 mg. every day for years... and always take one tab before workin on something (which is exactly what I am doing right now... in the next 15 mins. once it has kicked in a bit... but... good luck brother : )

 

Yes. Replace the c with a t.

 

Hi Samsome

What you describe is the exact same problem I've had all my life and I have been diagnosed with a condition called Essential Tremor Disorder.
I know you said no medication (and I understand why) but I get a Beta Blocker prescribed from a doctor and I'm supposed to take one tablet a day. The way I manage it is that I only take the pill if I know I'm going to have a high pressure situation, such as a big gig, a job interview or a boss/inspector coming into watch me teaching my class. It's not a cure for Anxiety but it certainly helps me with my shaking hands.

I hope this is some help to you Samsome, this works for me, it might or might not work for you. It is the only medication I take and as I only use it for important things I don't think I'll get hooked.

I don't normally post on forums so be kind to me folks

 

hey Mbarnes,

Essential tremors are giving shaky hands even at home when you're alone right?

The thing with me as i said before I only get the shakes in public...
its the people's presence/personality/exchange of body language that causes me to shake so i think its a bit different?

Thank guys for all your replies and being so open so far. cheers

 

Last edited by a moderator: Dec 13, 2015

Hey, samsome.

It's ok to feel grotty. It happens to all of us to one degree or another. My solution to getting butterflies in my stomach whenever I have to perform in public is to remember that everyone else is, also, putting on an act. We all wear different masks at different times.

So, rather than crumble beneath the gaze of another human being, I let loose my public "persona" and to heck with it. The real me is quite different from the deliberately crafted character that I trot out for other folks' entertainment. Inside, I'm just as petrified as everyone else. Nonetheless, I go out of my way to be as eccentric, unpredictable and as in-your-face as common decency allows. It's just my little way of misdirecting people away from own glaring faults.

Why try to hide the fact that you get the sweats and the shaky hands. Just make a little joke of it. There's nothing at all stopping you from saying at the dinner table, "Hey! Look at the state of me, guys. I'm shaking like a bloody leaf! What's got into me?" Try it. I'll bet you a pound to a pinch that the people around you will laugh with you, not at you.

ps: I just remembered something else. It goes like this:
Bravery isn't about having the strength to go on. It's really the going on when you don't have the strength.

 

Last edited: Dec 13, 2015

They don't know how you feel or think( i mean bar people),if you are a person who thinks who reads minds you also think that others can read you too(anxiety starts)
i bet you are not that shy guy type(the type that you don't even go out to have a beer)
but dont force yourself to stay with people you dislike....
i was there ,and people around you is there, ill only say stay away as much as possible from meds...you can do it¡

PS: all musicians are screwed up¡

 

Yep.
But not as screwed up as drummers. Those buggers beat us to it every time.

 

Hi samsome
maybe this will help

'Flowen Epic Social System'

http://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/copingwithsad/a/eatingfears.htm .Hope you get over this man.Chin up..Nothing is impossible.