I don't know any other cbt so I was wondering if you are into it

 

Lmao. That guy is the most consistent Audiosex user if you know that meme

 

I understand your confusion, my friend. I've been through those same moments of great weariness and despair.

But it's not life that disappoints you, because when you ignore assholes who spoil it for you, life is wonderful and may surprise you pleasantly... for instance by killing you when you least expect it .

If I can give you some advice, I suggest you isolate yourself as much as possible from civilization and avoid human contacts for, let's say, a whole year. This will enable you to accept yourself as you are and make peace with yourself.

And don't forget this: to be able to appreciate life and valuable people, you must first learn to appreciate yourself.

Animals can also bring you a lot more than you imagine... They're so wonderful.

 

My thanks for all who have sent good wishes, suggestions, prayers to any number of gods and my apologies to those who think I am simply whining and feeling sorry for myself. I will admit I have been under the care of numerous psychologists and psychiatrists for three decades now. I am socially awkward and never seek out the company of others. I have no immediate family of my own, yet thanks to my partner of the last ten years I have come to know the joys of having a step daughter.
She is now married with two children. Her husband never liked me. Perhaps I was on a different intellectual plane of creativity and we had nothing in common. Last year, I was becoming quite enamoured of the idea of being a grandfather as the boys grew close to me. I enjoyed early attempts to teach one the piano. Last year the father decided I was not permitted to have any contact with his children. He thought me too weird and would be a bad influence on the children. And now his distrust of me has spilled over to my partner, the boys own grandmother. He is threatening to forbid her from having any contact with "his boys" because in his mind if I'm weird, so too is she. He is a bully and we fear our daughter is in an unhealthy and possibly dangerous relationship.
I can't change anything about that. It is out of anyone's control. But I do have one thing I can do which is to ensure that my partner can continue to have a lifelong relationship with her grandchildren. And that is to leave her. I love her and it's the last thing I want, but if I'm no longer in their lives at least she can have a long life spent with her grandchildren. We have already had over a year where our side of the family is not invited to birthdays and other celebrations because of me.
He may be the manipulator, but I am the only solution.
So, as I say. I'm fed up. Fed up with a fractured family. The angst. The tears. The screaming fights. And all because one man has declared me weird because he found out I had been seeing professionals about my mental health before he was even born.

 

Damn. That is rough. My only answer is that there are no easy answers. I hate "DON'T WORRY MAN, JUST DO THIS!" responses. Good luck

 

You're not weird for seeing professionals about your mental health, he sure the fuck is. Other words to describe him that come to mind are ignorant, uninformed, uneducated, foolish, unconscious, witless, mindless and that he is probably a bit of a sociopath to try to drive a wedge between everyone against you. What I've come to learn over my 65 ellipses around the sun is that 9 outta 10 times accusations are actually confessions. He's the one that could use some pro help, of that I'm sure. You have so much creative experience to share with your grandchildren that it's dripping out your ears and spilling onto the floor. Dude must be so damn normal that it hurts just to think about.

 

Oh well, it's not as terrible as I thought...
It's your step daughter's husband who's ruining your life by trying to isolate his wife and her children?
Ask a lawyer; I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't have the right to forbid your partner from seeing her grandchildren.
And if your partner can see her grandchildren, there's nothing to stop you going with her.
If this asshole wants to ruin your life, turn the tables and ruin his life!

 

This can be amazing therapy.

 

The law is powerless in domestic issues. The daughter is under the control of a narcissistic control freak. She is afraid of him, but more afraid of divorce, a broken home and shared custody of the children. My partner and I have discussed this with specialist help services and they advise that any attempt at intervention could result in grievous harm. The statistics tell a grim story of what sociopathic husbands will do when cornered.

 

Animals are endowed with that humanity which is so rare to find in the human race.

 

Yikes. Well, doesn't mean you can't ruin his life. Just means you have to be creative about it. And no, I'm not trying to imply doing something illegal (and definitely not violent). Don't cause more trouble for yourself. There is a lot you can do that's petty and vindictive that's entirely legal.

 

The hours and hours we have spent trying to create plans to subvert his power. We have yet to think of something that will even come close to humiliating him without it having a backlash against his wife. We spoke in confidentiality to his parents about how he was creating a divide between both our sides of the family. They promised they would try and help and we couldn't help but feel they knew exactly what he was like and it seemingly came as no shock to them. Despite promises of secrecy, they told their son every word we said. The reply from our daughter? "Mum!!! What have you done?? I told you not to do this. You have just made my life ten times worse. I don't think I can ever trust you again

 

Not cool. Sorry.

 

I hope you realize that you leaving your partner will only slightly improve her chances of contact with her grandchildren again. If the man is as screwed up as you say, chances are he will come up with another reason to block her. There is a reason authorities usually do not negotiate with terrorists, and it has a lot less to do with pride and reputation than most people think. Giving in simply doesn't work most of the time. If your relationship is in trouble, breaking up might be a possible outcome. If neither of you want that, just don't.

You went from a general observation (life sucks) to describing a very specific problem, and specific problems often have specific solutions. Don't give up just yet!

 

Mad Max, Thank you for sharing the reasons of such misery in your life, I truly know, understand and having gone through almost paralleled issues we are probably close in age so I really understand, I am probably the most miserable, hateful, unforgiving bastard on the face of the earth if someone hurts my family. I know what it is to feel so helpless in this type of situation but never give up. I love my daughters more than life and will do anything to keep them safe and protect them, but I realize I must not act rashly in order to do so, I must remain alive for them and the grandchildren as long as possible, even enduring severe pain due to health issues. You have to get as much on that person as you can, no-one is without any enemies or people that despise or also have had serious problems with them, this will be your strength, Gather up enough proof, information and facts that will be more than enough for authorities to finally step in rid you of this problem. It's surprising how a prison sentence can rid you of such a great annoyance.
Be well, be aware and above all never give up hope. All this achieved without Violence

 

Last edited: Sep 8, 2024

One could interpret that as this thread already having a positive therapeutic effect!

 

If it was me i'd try a different approach.

as much as an ass he seems to be i'd try to find someway to coexist with him, without so much hate.

 

It's a nice sentiment, but you literally cannot do this with a narcissist. They just see it as weakness and come harder.