i'm just working on not hating my own music, as always. here is one that is finished pretty much, i guess i could do the vocals better but that's pretty much always the case!

 

Liked the atmosphere (kind of dark).
The vocals are a bit... lost, wandering... and maybe too much all over the song (just an opinion, but maybe the song would benefit from some rests in the vocals - i mean, more sparse vocals).

Anyway, congrats and thanks for sharing!

 

hey thanks for the feedback! vocals are definitely at the top of the "things to work on" lol. not very comfortable singing but i've been making my neighbors suffer and trying to practice more. i was gonna try to work towards building an ep, if i ever get anywhere with that maybe i'll go back to this and perhaps extend it out so there is more space in between vocals, as it is right now it's just a glorified loop so i kept it short and compact (arguably too compact!)

ps i still randomly chuckle thinking of when you basically wrote "i used to think if i could get my mix sounding good on a bad monitoring setup it'd sound good everywhere! that was not the case" me too my friend, meeeeee tooooooo hahaha

 

I wasnt bored and in fact am quite busy but i clicked and listened and enjoyed the song for it's short 2m 05s duration......imho it could be longer perhaps with more of an intro or build up and a bit of variation in a verse chorus bridge kinda format. I like the vibe, the vocals and the lyrical content.

 

I struggle a lot with my vocals too (you are not alone! lol). Hope to hear your Ep coming out soon!

 

OK, I do like the atmosphere.
1st impression was. It reminds me of ?
...Pink Floyd, Welcome to the machine.
So you're not on the wrong way for sure.
Of course your song lacks an intro, its more like an interlude. But I like the vocals.

 

The music is great. Vocals are not bad at all.
Like you, I am not really confortable with my vocals, always trying to get better on this

Keep Going, you have talent

P.S.: sorry about my poor english, not my main language.

 

Enjoyed the song/atmos.

Reminded me of Depeche.

I think the vocals are OK, I think the lyrics are possibly the element that needs more work.

Sounds like you're singing the words of a random text message across a piece of music.

 

I like it, it doesn't sound like anything else to me and it's melodic. Your voice sounds fine, good job!

 

vocal vibe didn't match the overall vibe of the background. it's clashing. you (the vocal) should actually sound more pathetic miserable than this. feel is one thing, but the note selection of the how the vocal is constructed too if it makes any sense. while the background going all dark and ominous, the vocal is on different page altogether. try adding some out of tune note (or suspended if it's too much) for the vocal to add tension. Melodyne is a superb tool to experiment, then when you got something meaningful, re-record the vocal back accordingly.

this is not a good example but from this well known song, you can hear the shitty feeling he is having and match the dark vibe of the music.

tips for this music with dark-ish vibe, the music should be played at half-time of the double time count. as example if your current song is 120bpm with every note is an 8th, treat it as 240bpm with every note is a 16th and some random 16th hit to give the illusion of it's a 16th based rhythm, shorter duration, snappier. It's basically the same, just played with different feel, a little more aggression (double-time count) but pulled back (half-time feel). The song above is doing exactly what i mean. just trying to help and being honest here. dont slaughter me.

 

I've tried to be, but saws and seesaws just remain boring to me.

 

hey thanks for all the feedback and/or nice words all! (EXCEPT STEVI- ahhhh just kidding!! super glad you listened and had some critique) i kinda just expected a couple of listens so i really appreciate it. i'm gonna try to respond to these in one post, if i can format it decently, i just got back from the weed store so this will be fun.

gracias amigo! yeah i wonder if i could pull off a murray head style one night in bangkok intro, where it kinda is something else for a little then BAM into this. dunno...trying to rip off one night in bangkok isn't the worst idea ive ever had, what a great song.

i checked out the songs you posted a bit ago, i wouldn't know it from listening to them! its a slippery slope between needing confidence and needing like... to be better at singing... or at least covering it up haha. and going back to song structure, I really loved the arrangement on lunar. got an audible "mmhmmm" from me hahaha.

INTERLUDE, YES! That's a better word for this song, i have a few more interludes and then some more intro verse chorus etc style songs all similarly themed i was gonna squeeze together for a EP.... i started on the shortest ones first ha what a surprise. thanks for the great compliment, i don't think it's ever bad to remind someone of pink floyd- maybe if you've lost your mind on psychedelics. but yeah its great to hear im going in a good direction, thanks.

no need to say sorry, your message was clear and very nice! plus, you speak at LEAST twice the amount of languages I do! thanks

getting into some meaty stuff now- thanks for the critique! not saying that sarcastically either haha- yeah i did not spend very much time on the lyrics, i just kinda sang some stuff and went with it on this one, not a lot of refinement whatsoever. although, thats what i do on a lot of my lyrics so maybe i should be a little more introspective hahaha. i didn't sit on this song very long, i made it like a few weeks ago and kinda moved on. also i'm pretty disjointed myself so it could just be my way of writing

thanks Crinklebumps! i'm not sure what genre my stuff falls under besides i guess electronic. i've been calling it emo pop, which makes me think of someone who is dressed completely like early 2000 emo hair cut and clothes but instead of all black they're bright colors. which isn't really my music at all but the visual makes me laugh so, good enough!

no no, thanks for taking the time to listen and leave some feedback Stevie Dude! I'm not sure, like actually not sure- if i agree that the vocals vibe clashing with the music is a BAD thing, i think i might argue thats what makes it a little more unique and my voice. i mean besides literally my voice. but i also see where you're coming from for sure, its very delicious food for thought, and yes messing around with melodyne and the notes is a great way to figure stuff out. this wasn't the most in depth song i definitely was trying to "finish" something and not get lost in the weeds, but then again it's pretty easy to open up the project and mess with it some more. fortunately i am at the point on like a bunch of songs where they need some vocals before i can move on with them so i'll plenty of time to put that into practice!

i will tweak the drums, they're like a very simple loop and they are bit too static for my liking. not the best example of my drum programming ability, a very good example of me being lazy though. im a little confused by what you mean on the timing. are you talking about putting a few 1/32nd notes in (double time 1/16th notes would be "normal" time 1/32 notes, yeah? im just an stoned bedroom producer, i barely know what scales are!) to create a snappier feel? i mean if in the DAW i doubled this bpm and then divided in half the loops its exactly the same thing isn't it? anyway, thanks again dude got me musing over here!

fair enough!

 

vocal is the first thing that will capture listeners attention by logic, then the brain will find connection to vibe with the rest of the arrangement. It's okay if it's your creative choice, but im telling you from my perspective, i failed to vibe with it. it doesn't mean it applies to everyone.

I've never been sober for more than 12 seconds the past 15 years but that's another story.

my music journey start with it, just basics but after years on the road, changed my mind and spent the rest to "unlearn" everything. still a punk rock kid at heart. It's a sin for any punk rockers to play everything based on scales or theory. lol.

yes! almost there. something like that, imagine changing the feel of a guitar rhythm that sounds like the player was sitting down, to stand up playing the same exact riff. the note will get snappier, messy in time a bit (mostly late) and the riff will be grooving energy, time domain will become elastic in a way. it's when you ask Dave Grohl to play ballad songs, it will feel a little too energetic because in his head he's counting everything double time when the song is normal time.

yeah, double time of 16th will be 32nd correct, notice if you double the resolution for the midi, the 32nd note length is shorter. use that length for the 16th rhythm (not just midi, the sound too) and try mess it up a bit. double the resolution and add a random note that aligned with 32nd but not with 16th. experiment with velocity too. It will sound like 32nd based rhythm that played half-time, instead of a normal 16th based rhythm. which is similar but not the same thing. that divides the pro from everyone else. that's why cover song sucks most of the time, people dont get this concept.

 

Last edited: Dec 8, 2023

ahhh ok thanks for expanding on that. i'll try messing with that when i go back to the drums, shorten some decays, maybe play with pushing or pulling it with swing etc. definitely very static on this. and absolutely respect that you don't jive with the vocals on this one, ironically although i think they work ok (there are certainly sloppy areas and rough spots where i could hit them better, but it is what it is right now.) with this song ive been stuck on another song and your thoughts on this song apply 100% to that. im messing with melodyne right now because ive not been happy with anything ive been coming up with just winging it.

also i was more or less joking about excuse of being a stoner, im stoned most of the time im not at work so hardly an excuse lol. its just i took a week break and JUST smoked so im having a better time than normal.

 

Something about your singing style reminds me of Steve Hogarth from Marillion.

 

i grew up listening to grunge almost exclusively here in Seattle, you'd think i'd channel that more but i guess being born in 1984, the most 80s of years, is just in my DNA.

 

macros , i think its an awesome idea and start for a song , good going !!
It really has that kind'a Floyd drum thing happening , ( and thats a good thing ! ) but I think ya need a heavy moog type 4/4 bass line
in there to beef it up a bit. So , now i will say something and i hope it dosnt piss ya off , but you have a voice that sounds like the singer
from the "pet shop" boys !! I in no way mean that in a negetive way , in fact ; against the drums and that Floyd feel it has , it makes your
vocal work sound really nice.

So go to work man , keep it up , develope it more , and bring it to the next level , I like it !!

 

big fan of Seattle (or Washington based) bands like Helms Alee, Botch, Sunn o))), These Arms Are Snakes, SDRE, Minus The Bear, Melvins, Burning Witch, Death Cab, MCD etc etc. Of course the usual Nirvana, Soundgarden, AIC, Tad, Mudhoney and SubPop stuff. I think large part of my music taste was shaped by bands from your town! Also I learn that Washington is both a state and another federal territory in DC through those bands, Jawbox to be precise that were from DC, love DC scene too. Back when I was a kid music helped me understand US map better. Growing up most people in my age in my hometown are all into the British invasions and whatever but I like US bands more. Life is so good back then, I hardly discovered new proper band these days. Is there any good one from Seattle these days ?

 

thanks so much for the nice words and taking the time to check it out! no WAY could a comparison to pet shop boys vocalist be a bad thing lolol. im listening to west end girls again now, classic. also, 4/4 moog bass line never a bad idea. i've got some other songs that definitely have that vibe going.

yeah that was good times for music here, now its amazon, google, microsoft.... creatives dont thrive in this city anymore in my opinion, the wealth inequality is too great so you can't make it as a starving artist (we have 8th highest cost of living i think) fentanyl and meth use is really bad here, and in general i'm gonna say people who code for a living don't express themselves by joining bands. i was still too young (and not nearly cool enough) to go see any of the big guys live really, i was a late bloomer for partying and going out to shows and stuff. nowadays i've gone full circle and also never leave my house, or listen to anything local really- so nope sorry lol. but i have a cool song to share, it's one of kurt cobains big influences, he was a roadie for them i guess.

protogrunge from 1984 with a black chick lead singer. pretty badass.

 

Bro, dope track! Make more, dont hate the track or your vocal!

Cheers!