Hello Audiosex Forum,

as you all know, I am a writer of FICTION who prides themselves on including realistic elements within my ENTIRELY MADE UP stories. As these are in NO WAY REAL and I am a very upstanding citizen I am hoping to get some feedback for this HYPOTHETICAL situation.

Here is where the story is so far: there is a guy with zero money and not much left to lose whose main passion is producing music. recently they were forced to get rid of their studio equipment and have realized their 10+ year old budget laptop is woefully underpowered for... most everything. This character is a bit in the moral greyzone on certain things, especially when it comes to perhaps taking from large corporations- they don't think they're Robin Hood they just don't care too much anymore.

Now, the opening scene for this novel needs to pull the reader in with some high stakes action, and I've been thinking that it might make sense for that scene to be a bold maneuver of this character going into a large chain store where moral is low, security is lax and high-end PC laptops are available and walking out with one. I'm wondering if folks here might indulge this completely ludicrous scenario so that I can trouble shoot it any issues in realism that the character might encounter.


for instance, I'm unaware of current tracking that is enabled on newer laptops. I am aware that in the location of this story what counts as a felony or not as far as dollar amount. I wonder if anyone who is bored would like to help me out with some details so that my novel can really be the best it can be, ideally I want the character to get away with zero consequences. Maybe the scene should take place right before closing? maybe it should be at peak times when it's busy. how would the character go about scouting a location without being suspicious? fortunately the story takes place in modern times where masks are common place, but what about getting away in a very underpowered car? how to look out for cameras?

so many questions. if I can't figure out a way where it seems very very very likely that the character was able to get away cleanly I will have to shelve this idea.... but also it does strike me as a story that could work. thoughts for this theoritical?

 

First off: Isn't there a way for the character to hustle a bit on the side to acquire some money in order to buy a used laptop? This would be bad for the novel as it couldn't be written anymore but I wonder if the protagonist really has crossed out other methods that don't make him end up in jail in the end. I would rather read a feel-good short story about a protagonist who felt his back was against the wall and then figured a way out of his situation without becoming a thief than a full fletched novel about a wanna-be ocean's 11 type of a guy who was willing to jump through many flaming hoops to only end up in jail in the end.

I wonder, if legal methods are not viable, why is that the case? What is the deciding factor? Is it simply impossible to acquire money? Does it take too long? Is the protagonist unable to work? Is there another reason?

I'm intrigued to read more and I wonder if the possible story about a thief could be turned into a story about someone who found another way. That might sound boring, but I'd definitly read it.

 

your hero comes to get a job in this store. the senior manager comes to him, asks the hero a few questions about work experience, previous place of work, etc. then quickly shows him the trading floor and says that the last stage of the interview is left and this is a small task. the manager asks the hero to convince him to buy what is on the stands. the hero walks around the hall, at some point the manager does not see him, the hero chooses a laptop, picks it up and calmly leaves the store. after 5 minutes, an angry manager calls him on his cell phone "what are you doing?" and the hero calmly replies "this is my sales technique." the manager starts shouting "what technique? return the stolen goods!" and the hero replies "I didn't steal anything. By the way, do you need a laptop? buy it" and names the price of the laptop. the manager pauses in surprise for a few seconds, and then stutters, "yes, okay, I'm buying it!" the hero returns, the manager gives him money from his wallet, the hero takes it, smiles and immediately says that he is buying this laptop =)

 

Your story is that of a thief or criminal.

How about he accidentally finds a handbag with $10,000 in it. However, the purse belongs to the wife of a known drug dealer. He buys a laptop and expensive listening monitors. Unfortunately, the drug dealers find his home and the empty handbag via GPS. To pay his debts he has to hack a company with his new laptop.....

 

it is based on our "true tale" - simple joke, but... =) there some diifferents in originals.

 

My mistake.

 

Last edited: Mar 1, 2023

1. That is very limited information to work with here.
   
2. When it comes to security/surveillance measures, I would first ask what kind of security systems are common in the store where the scene is to act (a search engine of your choice and a little real life research should give you good results). A small computer store has different security than a large department store/mall. Masks, by the way, hardly help protect one's identity anymore. Facial recognition software used by law enforcement has advanced rapidly in recent years. The question, then, is more about what kind of data the law enforcement in the country where the story takes place are allowed to process. Once you've decided what kind of store and security system you want to use for your scene, I'd recommend reading up on vulnerabilities for example on media.ccc.de.
3. You haven't told much about the character. Personally, the motivation is not really clear to me. And some key points seem to be a bit wonky. Why does he have to sell his studio equipment? And why does he only notice that his laptop is outdated when he sells it? Why didn't he notice it before? If he sells his studio equipment, why doesn't he buy a new laptop with the money? You don't make the decision to steal simply because you have flexible morals and are a little shady. Why is the morality flexible, why is the character shady? There must be a reason why he acts this way, otherwise it is not comprehensible for the reader. But yeah, apart from that, a theft is a good way to deal with the inner conflicts of the character. And it's a good hook to bring thrill into the plot.
   
4. Let's say you've decided on a certain type of store and a specific security system: Where did the character get the knowledge and experience of how to deal with it? Sounds to me like he's a poor average guy who does some music in his spare time and doesn't realize that his computer is outdated. Not good preconditions. Not generally implausible, but it definitely takes some extra work to make it believable.

 

Last edited: Feb 28, 2023

Maybe the main character, confounded with his lack of knowledge on the modern security systems at work in the target store, figures he should consult a well visited, but slightly underground music-themed internet forum and ask for advice?

 

sorry, but forget my idea, please =)

I really want to make a movie =)
your request was motivating and turned on inspiration

 

Last edited: Feb 28, 2023

 

Last edited: Feb 28, 2023

sorry for auto-translation =) it means protogonist.

 

I was wondering that myself. A decent music production computer would cost like what? $700? That's like 3 month of the lowest paying jobs in some countries, or less if the guy has some skill and can get a better one. It's not unachiveable.

But if he really wanted to go stealing stuff, why not steal something that's less risky, and sell it? I've seen people just leave valuable stuff there unwatched because they think nobody would slip through the crowd or jump the fence to grab it, just go full on meth head bro. If you want to add thrill, focus on the infiltration.

 

computer for 700$ - is not for real pro music production / sound design.
at least 1300$

 

ChatGPT..

 

Last edited: Feb 28, 2023

More details please - please embellish a bit more, we have so many words. Temperature weather, clothes, environment, mood etc.....

 

You need a stooge... Every time I go into my local grocery store they get on the radio and follow me around. I have a record for serious theft but nothing so trivial, so they waste their time following me, so I'm speaking from first hand perspective here. My mannerisms are, being autistic, ADHD and a bunch of mental issues my head is all over the place, so I look like I'm stealing or up to no good when its actually just a meltdown...

Someone like me takes all the attention away from the person stealing the laptop. If they're all focused on me they aren't spotting your thief...

As for getting through the detectors, you just need to time it so I'm going through the exit at the same time...

So your plot can play out as deliberate, or you could abuse the 'me', my timing leaving the store, knowing that I'm going to take the heat. They'd be so busy jumping on me it would be too late to question the person with the laptop.

You could build in a whole background to seeing me getting harassed, write about how the thief spotted an opportunity by being in a store and seeing all the surveillance jump all over me. He's within earshot of the headpiece radio chatter and gets a first hand perspective of how they follow and relay chat. Maybe he gets talking to staff about what's going on and the idea grows over time. He could be in the store checking prices, realise its way out of his budget and there's no way to afford one when this happens.

Maybe you can approach the stooge and tell him how he's been wrongfully branded and offer some deal, or even he offers to help just as a fuck you in reply? Depends how you want the characters to develop... All seems quite trivial to my mind, I don't see much drama or suspense in it. How long would this story be? A few pages?

If you want to add in some ethics, there's the moral of to 'steal' plugins vs stealing the money to buy them ... What's the ethics of the companies that receive the money? Where does theft end and how does it develop to the point where stealing material goods becomes acceptable? What's the social cost of everything and the impact on capitalism etc? We mostly only ever hear about the poor victims of people not buying virtual shit that doesn't exist. There the environmental impact of making goods that break pretty quickly...

Depends what background you want and how long you want to drag it out.

 

Neither is having no proper monitoring system (which i guess is part of the studio gear he got rid of) but you gotta start somewhere. I think the "pro" thing is off the table, BUT even if he wanted to go for $1300 that's not unacheivable either.

Point is, it's a lot of money for someone who's broke but not impossible to get legally on short-ish time, unless there's more context missing here.

 

Last edited: Feb 28, 2023

novel based on one character doesn't evoke emotional contrast ,maybe add laptop as macguffin that propels the plot forward , maybe there is supposed to be a planned robbery occuring on the store by the intelligence department on the pretext of simple daylight burglary to intercept the supposed bionuclear weapon schematics deal happening on the store, as it happens the store is only a front for international arms and weapon distribution in black market which are smuggleed through the computer accessories , and the schematics sold to triads in singapore is hidden in one of the high end laptops that beguiles our thief character, laptops with such data kept hidden in a secure room but due to intelligence officers hacking capabilities , security down and fate leads the character to that very laptop , but the laptop having geo tracking and monitored by the buyers triads , through different john wick scenarios , the character unravels the dark truth behind the use of such weapons creation and use ; the character being underdog remembers scout training and further john wicks triad goons, arms dealer goons, corrupt intelligence goons, Gets help from OG musicians , engineers in the voyage of justice and somehows saves the day by exposing the truth to world as a true musician through a big music festival broadcasted worldwide . Musicians are revered .Thief saves the day but doesnt return the laptop ,removes tracker and mails the schematics to the intelligence .singaporean triad boss gets a encrypted link, opens it to reveal the banger demo of our hero as the parting gift, the boss wails and curses at our hero as siren approach closer and closer from all directions.final scene, our hero finally chugs beer and clicks on FL studio on his treasured laptop.blaxk screen and fl studios oopening audio,then the banger plays as the end credits roll. lol i made it a screenplay my bad.

 

Last edited: Feb 28, 2023