you miss one word in the song title: gothic church music =)

 

Hallelujah, brothers and sisters! I'm on my way back to church right now. Verily.

Does anyone know if they've re-erected the roof since my last visit? It kinda fell in and everybody blamed me. That's unfair. I barely got a toe over the threshold before it all came down. I was damned near brained on the bonce by a tumbling plaster cherub. If you ask me, it was shoddy workmanship.

Thank the Lord I was wearing my helmet. Amen.

 

and he spelled 'muzak' wrong too.

 

I want that played at my funeral. The sooner, the better.

 

Not that kind of coming. Be on the earth and just turn your head towards him. He's already busy with Corona's issue.

 

In my newly awakened religiosity, i shone my sunday shoes and confessed to my wife that it was actually me that ate the remainder pudding from the refridgerator.

Good piece by the way

 

Dear God,

I know you know that I know that you know that it was I who dosed the the sacramental wine before the service this morning with LSD, lots and lots of the stuff. It was just that it has been so boring sitting here in church listening to the same old drivel week after bloody miserable week. You have to admit that the visiting Bishop Mullaney was pretty damn funny when he took off all of his clothing and lay prostrate on the ground begging your forgiveness for having sex with every novice nun that came through the Archdiocese, and as well all those "private" singing lessons with those poor choir boys over the last 45 years. And yes, it was me who looped Krusk`s Church Music so it played continuously for 5 hours and drove the congregation mad enough to tithe 100% of the money in their wallets and which I took directly to and bet it all on the nose of the longshot in the 5th at Belmont Park, Hail Mary, which won at 26-1. With the $128,000 windfall that I pocketed I bought over 200 Audiosex forum members Cubase 10.5, and I even bought Lenny a new prostrate with the leftover. They always say how You, God, helps those that helps themselves, so I know that you are proud of me and the good works I have done. Hallelujah and pass the dutchy on the left hand side.

Your Loyal Servant...Lois

 

Last edited: Sep 21, 2020

All work completed by Bodgit and Leggit, they came over and offered to do my driveway at cost.