The lifeguards had to rescue a man being tossed about in the rough surf of our local beach. His name was Bob.

 

James: wtf why did you delete SD3?
Bob: Drumforge..
James & Bob:

 

We shouldn't be upset when a bird poops on our head, we should be grateful that cows can't fly.

 

Why does a Scotsman wear a kilt? Because goats can hear a zipper.

 

that's mean.

 

Only if you're Scottish or a goat.

 

That's almost true! I always heard it was a Welshman's zipper...or was that just for sheep? Maybe @DarthFader could fill us in?

 

@Lois Lane: schoolgirl error, babes. You assumed the Welsh wear trousers. Not so, my dear. It's only the bottom portion of trouser legs affixed above the knee with baling string. Everything above the knee is kept warm by an all-enveloping Macintosh overcoat with a Bible in one pocket and a lump of coat in the other pocket for luck.

The lump of coal really works! Especially so when the ewe won't stay still. A swift blow with the lump of coal to the back of the sheep's head is a wonderful pacifier. If you come to Wales, I shall perform a practical demonstration. You, of course, shall play the part of the sheep.

 

Last edited: Oct 2, 2019

Oy vey, Wales, where men are men and sheep run scared!

 

Oh my gosh. That's my first girlfriend! She was real nice. Cuddly, playful, blonde (of course) and delicious with potatoes, leeks, peas and gravy.

 

ah 3 sisters

 

Great door!

 

lol. That's a great joke, because obviously Drumforge sucks.

But so does SD3.

 

Audioz is in desperate need for some humor.
some dude here ratted me out to the mods for writing him "monkey brained" lolz. people today are so pc, yikes

 

How can you hurt vegans so badly? (fuck the snail)

This interchange has made my stomach hurt for laughing so badly

 

Last edited: Oct 16, 2019

I almost forgot why I came here. This is my new hero:

Way to go!!! I always joke about playing this song in my funeral:

But man, this one is even better. Makes me rethink the whole funeral celemony ceremony thing...